Why on earth was she feeling such profound disappointment? Kissing him would complicate everything! And there was Sam to consider. What if he saw them? He still hadn’t quite grasped the unalterable fact that his father wasn’t coming back.
“It would be confusing to Sam if he were to see,” she said quietly. “And I am not in the market for a relationship. You must know that.”
“I do. Of course I do.” He had the grace to look chastened. “I don’t play games, Emily. I’m not interested in romance either, and I won’t toy with you. What happened just now was … an aberration.”
He paused, and Emily knew he was measuring his words. What was he protecting? Luke seemed fine when he was dealing with others, but when it came to himself he was irritatingly closed off. He had been open and laughing with Joe, but with her he put the walls back up. She wondered why.
“I don’t understand you at all, Luke. You can be very distant, and then last night it was almost as if you were right there in my shoes. Why is that?”
He stared out the window and she wondered if he was avoiding looking at her on purpose.
“I know what it’s like to have so much responsibility on your shoulders, that’s all. I was only twenty when I took over this farm, and I’m the oldest. Cait and Liz were still in their teens. It’s not easy being thrust into the role of primary caregiver and provider. I understand that, Emily. After last night … let’s just say I want to help you get your feet beneath you again.”
Emily felt her pride take a hit. Had she really seemed that desperate? “Rescuing women and puppies, is that it?”
He frowned. “It’s not like that. There was no rescuing involved. I did need help. It was such a relief to come inside last night and know that the house wasn’t in shambles. To have a meal hot and waiting rather than throwing something together at the last minute. Why is it so hard for you to accept that this is important? I’m not a particularly charitable man, Emily. I’m not one for pretty words.”
She pondered it for a moment, not liking the answer that came to her mind.
“Don’t you think what you’ve done has value?”
He did know how to get in a direct shot, didn’t he? Emily dropped her eyes and reached for a dish towel.
“Economics, Emily. The value of something goes up when it’s in short supply. Believe me, I’ve had to keep up with the ranch and the house and … everything else on my own. I appreciate what you’ve done more than you know.”
She wondered what he’d really been going to say in the pause. What everything? “You’re just saying that.”
“Why would I?”
He came close again. Emily could feel him next to her shoulder and wanted so badly to turn into his arms. She clenched her jaw. How needy could she be, anyway? So desperate that she’d let herself be swayed by a husky voice and a pair of extraordinary blue eyes? She’d gone months without so much as a hug. Wanting to lose herself in his embrace made her weak, and she couldn’t give in. Her control was barely hanging on by a thread. She was afraid of what might happen if she let herself go. At the very least, she’d make a fool of herself, especially after their protests that neither of them were interested in romance. She didn’t want to look like a fool ever again.
“Did he tell you it wasn’t important?”
Emily didn’t have to ask who he was. She’d told Luke enough last night for him to paint a fairly accurate picture. “Staying home with Sam was a mutual decision,” she whispered. “But it didn’t stop him from getting in the little digs that the financial burden of the family rested on his shoulders. And he never quite saw that while I didn’t carry the finances, I looked after everything else, and gladly.” She swallowed. “We decided together. I did have to remind him of that on occasion.”
She twisted her hands in the dish towel, knowing if she turned her head the slightest bit she’d be staring into his eyes again. The temptation was there. To see if the flare in his eyes was real. Rob hadn’t appreciated her. She knew that now. He’d shouldered the financial responsibility of their family and then he’d had enough. She didn’t realize how much she needed the validation until she heard it from Luke’s lips—a relative stranger who seemed to appreciate her more in two short days than anyone had in years.
“There are some things you can’t put a price tag on,” Luke said. “He was a fool.”
Emily’s pulse leapt. Yes, he had been a fool. She had put everything into their family only to be discarded. She turned to Luke then, dropping the dish towel to the countertop. It was a seductive thing, to feel that she was being seen. Really seen.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know it in my head. It’s harder to convince my heart.”
A muscle ticked in Luke’s jaw as silence dropped. Emily couldn’t have dragged her gaze away if she’d tried. Their gazes meshed, pulling them together even as they both held back.
“Dammit,” Luke uttered, then curled his hand around the nape of her neck and moved in to kiss her.
She was vaguely aware of lifting her hands and placing them on his arms. The skin below the hem of his T-shirt sleeve was warm, covering solid muscle from his long days of manual labor. Every square inch of Luke Evans was solid, a formidable, unbreachable wall. Except his mouth. Oh, his mouth. It was incredibly mobile, slanted over hers and making her weak in the knees. He tasted like peanut butter cookies and coffee and the way he was kissing her made her feel like a strawberry, sweet and ripening on the vine in the summer sun.
His muscles relaxed against hers, but with the easing off came a new and wonderful complication: he settled into the kiss now, pulling her body flush against his, making her feel that it could go on forever and nearly wishing it would. She melted into him, resting against the solid wall of his chest, surrendering.
His cell phone rang, the holster vibrating against her hipbone. The ring tone sounded abnormally loud in the quiet kitchen and Emily staggered backwards, holding on to the counter for support. For one sublime second Luke’s gaze collided with hers, hot and perhaps a little confused. Blindly he reached for the phone and then the moment disintegrated into dust as he turned his attention to the display.
Emily grabbed at the discarded dish towel and began drying dishes, wiping each one with brisk efficiency before putting it on a clean portion of countertop. What had they done? Got completely carried away, that’s what, and right after they’d said they wouldn’t. Heat rushed to her cheeks and flooded through her body. It had been perfectly, wonderfully glorious.
But so wrong. If he’d set out to prove a point, he’d done it. She was vulnerable. Hungry for affection. She put down a mixing bowl and dropped her forehead to her palm. She’d been weak, when only minutes before she’d determined this wouldn’t happen. How could she keep the promises she’d made to herself and to Sam if she indulged in such a lack of self-control?
“I’ve got to get going,” Luke’s voice came from behind her and she straightened, stiffening her spine.
“Of course. You have work to do.”
“Emily.”
That one word—her name—seemed full of unasked questions. Was he feeling as uncertain as she was?
“Luke.” She said it firmly, shutting down any doubts. This couldn’t happen again. Thinking about whatever chemistry was zinging between them was bad enough. Acting on it was just wrong. She had a plan. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it would be good for her son. A mother did what she had to do. That included taking this job until she could find a more permanent situation.
“I … uh …”
Her throat constricted. She couldn’t bear to hear him apologize or say what a mistake it had been.
“You’d better