Isaac paused, brow furrowed, and it seemed he might say more, but then he closed his mouth and looked at her expectantly.
She sifted through his comments, appreciating his effort and the fact that, other than to carry her, he hadn’t handled her any more than necessary; in fact, he seemed wary of being anywhere near her—a thought that touched her heart with the gentlemanliness it bespoke. His simple, strong kindness reminded her of some of the men she’d served alongside, and for a fleeting moment, she missed her comrades.
There had been a time, not that long after returning home, when she would have done anything to forget her tours overseas if it would have helped her blend back in to civilian society. But after being back in Peach Leaf for a few months, newly burdened with the knowledge that such a wish might never come true, she’d begun to long for another deployment, if only for the fact that she didn’t know how to be “normal” anymore, whatever that meant. She didn’t belong in her own world, and she hadn’t truly belonged in that barren, violence-riddled land, so the question was, as always: Where, if anywhere, did she belong?
“You could have left me there, you know,” Avery said. “I didn’t need any help.” The words sounded hollow and impractical even as she spoke them.
“We both know that’s not true,” he answered, his tone thankfully free of judgment.
She didn’t want to have to explain herself to a complete stranger. Even a kind, gentle, admittedly handsome stranger.
“All the same, though,” he continued, “I don’t think it’s safe for you to walk home on your own and, as I said, my truck’s out of commission for the night. Is there anyone you can call to—”
“No!” she shouted as her body simultaneously lurched forward a few feet, startling them both. She covered her mouth with her hand, the skin icy against her warm lips.
“Look, if you’re in some kind of dicey situation, it ain’t any of my business, but I can’t let you stay out here alone in the dark, either.
She shook her head and lowered her hand, clasping it between her knees. “No, no, it’s not like that. I’m not... I mean... I just have these episodes sometimes, and occasionally I lose track of where I am.” She stopped abruptly, not really knowing what else to say but thankfully, he didn’t seem to expect much more. Trying to put her problems into words was always a fragile balancing act of saying too little or too much. Even though they appreciated her service, she’d quickly discovered that most people would rather not think or talk about the things that Avery had experienced, and it was hard to describe something she herself didn’t fully understand.
Isaac swallowed and held out his hands, palms up. His face was difficult to read but not hardened, and his expression gave her the idea that he was genuinely waiting to hear what she had to say, who she was, before making his mind up about her. It was refreshing. In her small town, Avery was used to people thinking they knew everything about each other just because they’d racked up some years together in the same place. They made the frequent mistake of assuming that you’d always be who you once were.
“Speaking of,” she went on, struggling to hide her sudden embarrassment at having to ask, “would you mind telling me where we are?”
Isaac’s lids lowered and his mouth relaxed into an easy grin, as if he’d been waiting for her to ask so he could have something helpful to offer. “Sure thing. We’re about two miles outside of Peach Leaf proper, and my house is about half a mile from Ranch Road 64. Closest landmark is Dewberry Farms, my neighbor.”
His neighbor. Her brother.
Avery released an audible sigh of relief that she hadn’t wandered too far from home in her—she looked down, suddenly aware of the goose bumps that had formed a tiny mountain range along her arms—very thin pajamas. Thank goodness she’d been unable to shed the habit of sleeping in her sports bra or she’d have been sitting in a stranger’s living room without a shred of modesty.
“Dewberry is my home, at least for now,” she said, and Isaac nodded, seeming unsurprised. He probably knew her recent history as well as any of the other locals. It said a lot about his character that he wasn’t acting as though that meant he knew her.
“Well, as you know, it’s not far from here. I think I feel well enough to walk back now. If I don’t make it home before everyone wakes up, they’ll be worried, so—” she pointed a thumb in the general direction of the front door “—I should probably get going.”
Isaac held out a hand as she stood. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” She rolled her eyes almost immediately, sitting back down as the inside of her head did another dizzy spin. “I mean, I know why not, but how is it any of your business? I appreciate you helping me, but I’m okay now.”
Isaac shook his head. “For one thing, you’re pale as a ghost, and let’s not forget you were passed out for a solid hour. Plus, pardon my saying so, but you look like you could use some energy if you’re going to walk a half mile, which, for the record, I’d recommend putting off until the sun comes up.”
Avery bit her lip, considering. Everything he said was absolutely right, but she couldn’t risk letting Tommy or Macy find her bed empty again. She wouldn’t put them through that worry another time.
Her brother and sister-in-law had already given her a place to stay and a hell of a lot of support through the lowest point in her life so far, for which she’d never be able to repay them. They said they were glad to do it and they meant well, but Avery wasn’t naive, and she wasn’t blind; she could see the way they looked at her when they insisted she was no imposition, as if they weren’t sure what she might do next, or worse, how her involuntary actions might affect their kids. She could see the way they walked on eggshells around her. The familiar guilt made her empty stomach clench in pain.
She sat back down on the sofa and Jane thumped her tail against the worn fabric. Avery reached over to pet the dog’s soft fur, surprised once again at how comforting it was just to stroke Jane’s broad back. When she gave Jane a few scratches behind her enormous, fuzzy ears and the scruffy mutt closed her eyes in bliss, Avery was pretty sure she’d made a friend for life.
“It makes me feel so calm, petting her.” Avery was surprised to hear herself state the thought out loud, but the combination of the kind stranger’s presence and the silky sensation of the dog’s warm coat made her feel more at ease than she had since she’d been home.
“She tends to have that effect on people. Lots of dogs do,” he said.
Avery looked up to find Isaac beaming with pride, and she noticed again how good-looking he was, in such a different way than the men she’d been attracted to before. His features were less sharp than the square-jawed, light-featured military types she usually preferred. His hair was collar length, wavy and dark, almost black, in the soft glow of lamplight flooding the living room, and his eyes were nearly the same shade of brown. He reminded her of a rakish lord from one of the historical romances she devoured at an incredible pace, one of the few pastimes that allowed her to completely escape the bleak hollows of her own thoughts.
It wouldn’t be inaccurate to describe him as devilishly handsome, she thought, a smile blossoming over her lips before she caught herself and bit the bottom one.
He caught her smiling and she pretended to study Jane’s fur, the heat of a blush rushing to her cheeks. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt drawn to someone that way, much less blushed over a man, for goodness’ sake. She’d had a few boyfriends before her first deployment, but it always seemed sort of futile to get