“You take as long as you need,” Paul said. “Go. Rest. We have all summer to catch up.”
Yes, yes they did. Three blissful months to finish repairing all of the damage dealt to her on that cold winter afternoon. Three months to wake up, smell the flowers, see the sun and feel the wind on her face. Three months to...start living again. To feel real again.
* * *
Steaming hot coffee, toasted everything bagel with butter and cream cheese and the breathtaking—often gut-kicking—view of the Rocky Mountains made for an excellent start to the day. Ryan Bradshaw stretched his legs and sipped his coffee, savored his bagel and congratulated himself on the wisdom of buying this particular property close to three years ago.
The decision to move to Steamboat Springs, Colorado, from Denver had been a surprisingly quick and firm one. His folks had already lived here for some time, and his visits to them had made him realize how he longed for a less hectic daily existence in a place exactly like Steamboat Springs. His thoughts then had been that he’d eventually relocate once he and Leah were married. Unfortunately, their engagement had come to an abrupt end.
The right choice for both of them, but without the glue of their relationship keeping Ryan in Denver, he felt the need to start over somewhere new. And thank God he had, because he had never loved life more. Everything about Steamboat Springs—the views, the people, the lifestyle, the skiing—fit him like a well-worn pair of jeans.
Even his zeal for his career had been revitalized, after too many years of fighting burnout. In Denver, he’d worked endless hours for the hospital, with a few private clients on the side when the opportunity presented itself. Here, he’d jumped into the deep end immediately by starting a private practice clinic in this gorgeous house he’d bought.
Due to some fortunate investing over the years, he had the funds to do so, and it hadn’t taken long to turn the lower level of the A-frame into a clean, functional therapy clinic. The upstairs of the house—including the deck he now sat at—was his personal living space, and he’d managed to successfully keep the two areas completely separate.
While he still worked more than he probably should, the struggle with becoming overextended had long since faded. A combination of the environment and being his own boss. Oh, he still put in ten to fifteen hours per week at the hospital’s rehabilitation unit, but that only made good sense. Doing so allowed him to be a larger part of the community that was now his, and his relationship there gave him access to services and equipment he couldn’t easily obtain on his own. A win-win, every way Ryan looked at it. Another plus? He loved what he did.
The mix of his clientele here was much the same as in Denver. Although he did have a greater percentage of folks rehabilitating from sports injuries—skiing, snowboarding, white-water rafting, you name it—he still had those coming out of one surgery or another, fighting illness or disease that had weakened their muscles, or had had an accident that wasn’t sports related. Back in Denver, though, his clients had also frequently included trauma survivors.
People who’d survived any type of a vicious, purposeful trauma—Ryan refused to call them victims—tended to require a different type of focus on his part. Sure, every person he worked with demanded his complete attention on their full selves—not just their bodies—but, on the other side of being hurt or almost killed by another’s hand, a certain type of shutting down often occurred. In the heart and soul. In the way the world is viewed.
In feeling safe.
Today—in just about an hour now—his first trauma-survivor client in Steamboat Springs would arrive. Andrea Caputo, from Warwick, Rhode Island. A trauma nurse, which could prove challenging on its own, as medical professionals tended to trust their experiences and training over Ryan’s, at least in the beginning stages of the relationship. She had witnessed a coworker being shot and killed, and had sustained two gunshot wounds to her upper and lower right leg.
Ryan had thoroughly studied her file. He understood her medical history, as well as her current status, as much as he possibly could from her records. What he didn’t know, what he wouldn’t know until she arrived and they spent some time together, was her mental and emotional state. This woman had already trekked an arduous road, but she had a hell of a long way to go. She’d need some fortitude, courage and a kick-ass positive attitude to get herself all the way back.
With every one of Ryan’s clients, that was always his end goal: to bring them completely back or, when that couldn’t happen for physical reasons, as close to complete as was within reach. He hoped, genuinely, this Andrea Caputo was prepared and had already found all the strength she would need. But if not, he’d get her there.
Because that was what he did.
* * *
Andi stared at her feet, unwilling to meet the direct gaze of her new physical therapist. Ryan Bradshaw’s dark brown eyes seemed able to see right through her skull and into her brain. She disliked the sensation immediately, even though she knew the feeling bordered on ludicrous. No one could read her thoughts. No one knew what really went on inside her head.
Even a man with penetrating eyes and a demeanor to match.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “It seems I’m more tired than I realized from yesterday’s travel. My...ah...mind isn’t functioning properly. Could you please repeat your question?”
“Sure can. I asked about your sleep,” Ryan said, his voice low and smooth. “Specifically, how many hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep you’re getting each night. Doesn’t have to be exact...just give me a ballpark figure.”
“Oh. I don’t know.” Shrugging, Andi lifted her chin and looked straight past the man, to the fluffy white clouds outside the window. “Maybe five? Six?”
The truth hovered closer to the three-hour mark, but her white lie should stop the “What’s keeping you awake?” question she preferred not to answer. Her nightmares were hers to battle with and had zilch to do with the physical recovery of her leg.
“Five to six, huh?” Again, that look. He didn’t argue, though, just scrawled something into her file. Probably that she wasn’t that great a liar. He went on to ask her a few questions about her diet, which she answered honestly, and then a more in-depth interview regarding her pain level, where she was at in her daily exercises and how she felt about both.
“How do you think I feel about almost constant throbbing pain and pushing myself to the point of exhaustion every day?” she snapped. She hadn’t meant to—not really, anyway—but she was tired of being asked how she felt. Not only in regards to her leg, but with everything.
What did it matter how she felt? What had happened, happened. She had two choices: push through and hope to find some semblance of her prior self, her prior life, or...what? Give up, stop fighting, accept this new, frightened version of herself? Never. Never.
“I don’t know,” he said patiently. Calmly. “That’s why I asked.”
Unshed tears burned behind her eyes. They wouldn’t fall, she knew. She hadn’t cried once since last December. But the weight, the fire and the ache of those tears remained. “I’m fine,” she said, going for brisk. “I have and will continue to do whatever needs to be done. I think that’s what counts, what you should be focused on, and not my feelings.”
Standing, Ryan closed her file. “That’s good to know, Andrea. But my focus is on anything that will help me help you regain strength and mobility. And, yes, in addition to your physical state, that focus includes your mental and emotional well-being. How you feel, what you think. How you’re sleeping, and if you’re not sleeping well...why?”
Of course. Attitude was a part of the deal. That whole-body-health idea, which Andi had always bought into. Still did, truth be told. But...her attitude wasn’t Ryan Bradshaw’s business. Or her family’s, or her friends’ or...anyone outside of her. She’d stuck to that