His stomach lurched as he cuddled the child to him, drawing comfort from the feel of his solid little body. Matteo immediately began to squirm in protest at being held so tightly and Luca forced himself to relax his grip. He smiled at him. ‘Shall we go home and have a drink?’
‘Si, si.’
Matteo clapped his hands in delight. He seemed oblivious to the danger he’d been in and Luca was grateful for that. No child should have to suffer the way he and Sophia had suffered when they’d been children. A child’s life should be filled with happiness and love, and certainly not with the terror he had known when he’d been little older than Matteo was now. Cruelty had been a daily part of life at the children’s home. There’d been physical beatings and, worse still, mental torture. Being told repeatedly that you were worthless had caused far more damage than the physical abuse had done. Luca knew that he would happily forfeit his life to protect this precious child from that kind of harm.
The thought unlocked a door in his mind usually kept securely locked and he swung round. He wasn’t in a fit state to handle the memories at the moment. He had a final word with the paramedics then turned to Kelly, hoping she couldn’t tell how emotional he felt. He needed to be in control when he was with her, keep his feelings locked away as securely as those memories of his childhood. It was the only way he was going to cope.
‘Would you like to come back to the villa for a cup of coffee?’ he offered, hoping she would refuse. Having Kelly in his home would be a mistake. Once she’d been there, he would never be able to rid himself of the memory. He couldn’t bear to imagine how hard it would be to sit in the house each night on his own and recall her visit.
‘No, thank you,’ she said quickly. ‘I don’t want to be a nuisance.’
‘You aren’t being a nuisance,’ he countered curtly, stung by the speed of her refusal. Did she have to make it quite so obvious that she didn’t want anything to do with him?
‘I’d still prefer not to come in.’ She shrugged, drawing his attention to the fact that the vest top she was wearing had left her shoulders bare apart from two thin little straps.
Luca felt the emotions suddenly gush up inside him again like the bubbles in a champagne bottle once the cork was drawn. He couldn’t seem to drag his gaze away from her. Soft evening light was filtering through the trees, painting her milky skin with a golden lustre. She looked like a gilded statue as she stood there, yet he knew that if he touched her it would be flesh and blood he felt, not stone.
His hand half lifted before he realised what he was doing. He couldn’t touch her, couldn’t smooth his palms over her skin and feel its warmth, and he certainly couldn’t dip his head, open his mouth and taste it.
Desire rushed through him, heated his blood, pooled in his loins, and he groaned. He wanted her so badly but it would be wrong to give in to his urges. Even if she felt the same way, it made no difference. He had nothing to offer her now but sex and it wasn’t enough, not for him and definitely not for her. Kelly deserved to be loved, wholly and completely and for all eternity. She deserved a man who could give her his heart, his mind and his soul, and he was no longer that man, although he had been once.
‘I’m supposed to be meeting some of the staff down at the harbour. It’s Catarina’s birthday and we’re going for a meal. I’d better get off otherwise I’m going to be late.’ She lifted her arm to check her watch and Luca frowned when he heard her gasp.
‘What’s the matter?’ he said sharply, because it felt as though he’d been knifed straight through his heart. He could never be the man that Kelly needed and he couldn’t begin to describe how wretched that made him feel.
‘Nothing. I banged my elbow and it’s a bit sore, that’s all.’
‘Let me see.’ Luca put Matteo on the ground and took hold of her arm, frowning when he saw the bruise on her left elbow. ‘You need a cold compress on that to reduce the swelling.’
‘I’m sure it will be fine,’ she said, quickly removing her arm.
‘If you want to run the risk of not being able to move your arm for the next week, that’s up to you,’ he said harshly, even though he knew it wasn’t fair to speak to her like that. It wasn’t her fault that he felt this way, neither was it her fault that she didn’t want to be anywhere near him. After all, he’d been the one who had ended their affair.
The thought set light to his temper and he glowered at her. ‘However, I should warn you that I shall take a dim view if you are unable to do your job because you were too stubborn to accept my advice.’
Her face flushed with angry colour. ‘Then it appears I don’t have a choice, do I?’ She shot a derisory glance at the villa. ‘I only hope your friends don’t mind having a stranger foisted on them so you can play the big tough boss, Luca. It’s probably a side of you they haven’t seen before. Aren’t you afraid it will spoil your image?’
‘Not at all. I have never allowed anything to get in the way of doing what I know is right.’
It was nothing less than the truth, but it didn’t help him to know that. He could tell that Kelly was furious with him as he led her back to the villa but he didn’t care, couldn’t allow himself to care. Matteo was chattering away, but for once in his life he was barely listening to what the child was saying. He was too keyed up, too angry, too upset, too…too everything.
‘Papà.’
Matteo’s voice cut through the maelstrom of emotions whirling around inside him and Luca jumped. ‘What is it, caro?’ he asked, ashamed of his selfishness.
He listened carefully while Matteo solemnly told him about the big motorbike that had come down the road and how the lady had picked him up. It was only when he had finished his tale that Luca realised Kelly was standing, stock-still, in the middle of the driveway. There was an expression of shock on her face that scared him when he saw it.
Instinctively, he stepped towards her, but she backed away. Her face was the colour of parchment now that the angry colour had faded and for a moment he wondered if she was going to faint. What if she’d done more than merely bruised her elbow? he thought sickly. What if she’d banged her head and injured herself badly?
‘Whose house is this?’ Her voice was so low that it sounded as though all the life had seeped out of it, and his fear intensified. Something was seriously wrong and he had no idea what it was.
‘I asked you who this villa belongs to,’ she repeated in a tone that made him wince.
‘Me,’ he said simply. ‘This is where I live.’
Her eyes closed for a moment before she opened them again and stared at him. ‘If this is your house then who is Matteo? Where are his parents?’
Luca felt a wave of sadness wash over him. He knew that his answer was going to hurt her and that there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He had promised Sophia that he would never tell anyone the truth about Matteo’s birth and he never had. In the eyes of the law, Matteo was his son and that was what everyone must continue to believe, including Kelly…especially Kelly.
She’d never made any secret of how important her career was to her. She had told him two years ago that she intended to get to the very top and he had believed her. He’d understood her need to succeed because he’d felt the same way. Proving that the people at the home had been wrong to say that he would never amount to anything had spurred him on. It had been a long, hard struggle to reach his present position and he wouldn’t have got there if he hadn’t remained completely focused.
If Kelly was to achieve her ambitions, she needed to be equally committed. However, if he told her the truth about Matteo then he knew that she would want to help and that was the last thing he could allow to happen. Juggling the demands of parenthood with a career was extremely hard as he knew from experience; some days