But what would it be like to feel those beautiful muscles bunching beneath her palms? Those callused fingers grazing her soft skin?
‘I can tell from here it’s going to need suturing,’ she lied, coughing to clear her throat.
In all her years within the military she had never—not once—fantasised about a fellow soldier. Fliss stopped abruptly.
Come to think of it, she had never in her life fantasised about anyone.
She hadn’t been able to see what purpose a fantasy served. No one before had ever set her pulse racing or filled her with such a raw need that her whole body actually trembled at the thought of their touch.
And then the Colonel had come along and she’d stood in that tent and felt as though she’d been hit by an armoured tank. Being in the field with him and seeing him in action, working with him in such harmony as though they’d known each other for years, had only intensified the attraction.
She’d seen a fair few heroes in her role as an army trauma doctor, but the Colonel was the stuff of action films. And he had something more, something harder, some inner drive. She’d been given a taste of what he was capable of, how loyal he was, and the physical attraction had expanded into something more.
It frightened her even as it excited her.
He’s just a man.
She tried to push the tumultuous emotions from her brain but, even now, he dominated the space, his backside resting on the countertop, his long, powerful legs stretched out in front of him, one ankle crossed casually over the other. Her heart hammered so fast she was surprised he couldn’t hear it. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t tear her eyes from his body. The tiny room practically pulsed with his dark, powerful energy, sliding under her skin and into her veins to flutter wildly at her neck. His eyes slid to her pulse as if he could read her thoughts, swiftly followed up with his lips thinning as if in distaste.
It was a rejection she recognised all too well.
Hurt cut through her. Enough to kick-start her sense of self-preservation. What was she thinking, imagining a guy like him could really be interested in someone like her?
Focus, Fliss.
‘Right, let me inspect the wound,’ she bit out, shaking back hair which wasn’t there and advancing as confidently as she could, hands outstretched.
He braced himself. Only a fraction of a second but she didn’t miss it. Heat suffused her cheeks. He could read her silly schoolgirl crush and was embarrassed on her behalf. It was all she could do not to turn and flee.
Hauling her eyes to his shoulder, she saw where he’d tried to bandage the seeping wound, not wanting anyone to know about the injury. But, as neat a job as he’d managed, the damage beneath was clearly too deep. Carefully, she reached out and peeled away the dressing. At least her hands were steady, which was more than could be said for the rest of her.
‘Jeez, what did you do?’ she cried out, her eyes darting to his in horror.
‘What does it look like? I tried to suture it.’
‘Yourself? Without anaesthetic?’
He shrugged, ignoring the second question.
‘I’m usually right-handed.’
‘Yeah, because that’s why it’s bleeding.’
She stared into those shale-hued eyes and felt herself teetering oh-so-close to the edge. With a supreme effort she pulled herself back.
‘I’ve had worse.’
She didn’t doubt it.
‘How did you get it?’
‘Sliced it on some rusty metal when we were breaking down the door to that compound.’
She clucked her tongue, relieved at the banality of the exchange. At least it was keeping her mind distracted whilst they were so dangerously close to each other. She prattled on quickly to stop her voice, and hands, from shaking.
‘So you’re going to need stitches and a tetanus, but you weren’t intending to come to me. What are you, some kind of idiot?’
‘Careful, Major.’ His low voice rumbled through her. ‘I’ve let a lot slide because you’re kind of sexy when you’re bossy. But don’t push it.’
He was right; it was no way to speak to a superior. Certainly no way Fliss would ever have previously dreamt of speaking to one. But nothing about him had her acting like normal and, despite her best efforts, he disconcerted her, leaving her jangling nerves needing an outlet.
Wait... He thought she was sexy?
Belatedly, her eyes snapped to his, her tongue flicking out to moisten her parched lips. His gaze pulled down to the movement.
‘And that doesn’t help.’
‘What doesn’t?’
Was that breathy sound really her voice?
They had inched closer. She hadn’t noticed it, but they had. Now the soft caresses of his shallow breaths tickled her cheek.
‘Tell me how it is that you don’t have a boyfriend or partner somewhere, worrying about you?’
Pain sliced through her more than she’d have wished. But, like every time before, it was about the sense of rejection rather than losing Robert himself.
What was so very wrong with her that the people who were supposed to care about her didn’t think she was special enough for them to stay?
She took a step back from Ash, as though putting physical distance between them might ease the feelings of inadequacy. What if she told him and it caused him to think less of her as a woman?
‘Who says I don’t have someone?’ She’d meant it to sound nonchalant but it just came out brittle, cold.
‘If you did have someone, you wouldn’t be here now,’ Ash pointed out, unperturbed. ‘You certainly wouldn’t have allowed yourself to respond to me the way you do. However strong the attraction, you’d have shut it down back in your CO’s office the other day.’
He was right; she would have.
‘Fine,’ she snapped. ‘There’s no one.’
‘But there was?’ he pushed, perceptively.
‘It’s none of your business.’
‘Fair enough.’
‘What about Simon?’
‘Simon?’ Fliss stopped her inspection and shot him an incredulous look.
‘Your CO.’
‘Yes, I know who he is.’ She shook her head. ‘There’s nothing...like that going on.’
‘He wouldn’t mind if there was.’
‘You’re crazy,’ Fliss snorted, wondering where that had come from. ‘Besides, I don’t do that.’
Before she could think anything else, however, Ash had slipped one arm around her waist, the other hand closing around her wrist, his legs parting as he pulled her in between them. She was far enough away that there was a clear gap between his body and hers, but so close she could almost feel him.
‘Good to know,’ he muttered.
She should push away. But she didn’t. She couldn’t resist him. Her body literally ached with the need to press against him. But, if she did, she was afraid she might forget all her principles entirely.
‘I... I just said. I don’t do this,’ she choked out.
‘Do what? This?’
His thumb pads stroked the inside of her wrists, causing her pulse to lurch yet again, and Fliss wondered