Ewan straightened up and Becky hurriedly smoothed her face into a suitably noncommittal expression. Maybe Millie had responded unusually favourably but it meant no more than her own reaction had. They were both exhausted and the sooner they were home in Bride’s Bay the better. She glanced at the carousel, willing her suitcase to appear. Cases were being claimed from all sides but she couldn’t see any sign of her bag.
Ewan reached over and grabbed a battered old holdall and dropped it on the floor by his feet. ‘That’s mine sorted. There’s just yours to come now. Shout out when you spot it.’
He seemed to have taken it for granted that he should help her and Becky wasn’t sure what to do. It didn’t seem fair to make use of him, especially not after the way they had parted all those years ago. The guilt that had become such a large part of her life of late rose up inside her and she shook her head.
‘Don’t worry about us, Ewan. We can manage. You’ve got your bag so you get on off home.’
‘And leave you to struggle on your own?’ His dark brows rose. ‘I can just imagine what my mother would say if she found out. She’d have my guts for garters!’
Becky summoned a smile. ‘I think you’re a bit too old to worry what your mother will say.’
‘True.’ His smile faded and he looked at her with a seriousness that made a shiver pass through her. ‘However, I’d never forgive myself if I abandoned you, Becky. Mum wrote and told me what had happened to Steve. I’m really sorry. Losing your husband like that must have been horrendous. You’ve had a really rough time and I’d like to help any way I can, even if it’s only by seeing to your luggage.’
Becky felt a lump come to her throat when she heard genuine concern in his voice and looked away. She was afraid that she would do something silly if she wasn’t careful, and cry. She had learned to hold back her tears in the past year for Millie’s sake. It hadn’t seemed fair to upset her daughter so what little crying she’d done had been done in private. Maybe it was tiredness or the fact that she’d been caught unawares by seeing Ewan again, but she knew it would take very little to make her break down.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’re very kind.’
‘It’s my pleasure.’ He touched her hand then turned towards the carousel, thankfully missing the start she gave.
Becky took a deep breath as she focused on the cases travelling along the conveyor belt. She was tired, so it was little wonder that she seemed to be overreacting. The fact that her pulse had started racing when Ewan had touched her wasn’t an indication of anything else.
She finally spotted her case and pointed to it. ‘That’s my case—the red one with the yellow tag on it.’
‘Okey-dokey.’ Ewan elbowed his way through the crowd and lifted the case off the belt with an ease that belied its weight. Setting it down on the floor, he looked at her. ‘I take it that you’re being met?’
‘Yes.’ Becky sighed. ‘Mum and Dad insisted on coming to meet us. I tried to talk them out of it but they were adamant.’
‘Of course they were.’ Ewan frowned as he released the handle of her suitcase and turned it towards the exit. ‘You’ve just flown right across the globe, Becky. Anyone would be tired after a journey like that—I know I am. Plus you’ve had the added stress of looking after your daughter. What’s the point of making your life even more difficult by refusing to let your parents collect you?’
Becky bit her lip. What Ewan had said made sense but she still felt bad about her parents making the long drive from Devon. They had been through enough in the past year thanks to her and she was determined that she wasn’t going to put them under any more pressure. Once again the thought that she might be making a mistake by returning to England rose to her mind.
She’d thought long and hard before she had made her decision but, in the end, she had accepted that she didn’t have a choice. She needed to work to provide for herself and Millie, and the cost of full-time childcare would have been exorbitant. There simply wouldn’t have been enough money left over each month to pay all the other bills. Her parents had not only offered her and Millie a home, but her mother had offered to look after Millie while Becky went out to work. Becky knew that she should be grateful for their kindness, and she was, but it wasn’t easy to sacrifice her independence. She would be right back where she’d been eight years ago, living with her parents and dreaming about Ewan.
The thought slid into her mind so fast that she didn’t have time to stop it. Becky shook her head, determined to dislodge it as she followed Ewan towards the exit. There was no chance of history repeating itself. Maybe she had fallen under Ewan’s spell once upon a time but it was Steve she had married and Steve she had loved….
Hadn’t she?
Becky felt her breath catch as her eyes rested on Ewan’s broad back. All of a sudden she wasn’t sure what was true any more. Had she loved Steve, really loved him, or had he merely fitted her idea of the perfect husband? Steve had appeared so calm and dependable, so focused on what he wanted from life. They’d held similar views, shared the same objectives—marriage, a home and a family—that she had believed she had found her soulmate. Ewan, however, had been very, very different.
Ewan had been charming, funny, exciting, sexy—everything Steve hadn’t. Although he’d had numerous girlfriends, he’d made no secret of the fact that he didn’t plan on settling down. As he’d stated on many occasions there was a great big world waiting to be explored and he was going to do his level best to see as much of it as possible. Even though she had been deeply attracted to him, and had known he’d felt the same about her, Becky had realised it wouldn’t work. They had wanted such different things out of life that any kind of relationship had been doomed from the outset.
In the end she had chosen to stay with Steve, sure in her own mind that it was the right decision. Steve had offered her the security she’d wanted, the chance to create a marriage exactly like her parents’—stable and enduring. It was only now, looking back, that she found herself wondering if she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Who knew what might have happened if she had chosen Ewan?
Ewan could feel a knot of tension twisting his guts. He took a deep breath, forcing the oxygen through his lungs. Seeing Becky at Christchurch Airport had been a shock admittedly, but he’d had hours to get over it. As he had sat in the cramped confines of the aircraft, he had, quite deliberately, gone over everything that had happened eight years ago.
He’d been doing his rotations and Becky had been in her final year, training as a nurse, when they had met at the hospital where they were both seconded. Although they both came from the Bride’s Bay area, he was a few years older than her so she’d not been part of his set. It had been a while since he’d seen her, in fact, and Ewan had been surprised by how attractive she was. Not only was she extremely pretty but she had a lively and engaging mind.
He’d got into the habit of stopping by the ward she was on, timing his visits to coincide with her breaks. They’d chatted about this and that over coffee, but each knew the conversation was merely a cover for their real feelings. If he was attracted to her then it was obvious that Becky felt the same about him. Although he knew that she was seeing someone—a definite no-no in his book as he made a point of never encroaching on another man’s territory—he asked her out and she accepted.
They went for dinner at a little bistro down by the river recommended by one of his friends. Candlelight, soft music, discreetly attentive waiters—it was so self-consciously romantic that it would have been laughable if Ewan hadn’t been mortified in case Becky thought he was trying to seduce her. However, when he apologised, she simply laughed. And it was then that he realised he could very easily fall in love with her.
He drove her home afterwards with his head in a spin. He had