‘Hold your horses,’ I croaked. ‘Just give me a second to clear these away and we’ll get going, OK?’ I purposely gathered up the drawings so that the one of me and Mum lay at the bottom where neither of us could see it any more.
Climb
By the time Charlie and I had put the pictures away and prepared the food, the sun glowed high in the sky. Indian summers were great but winter couldn’t be far off, which meant rain. Lots of it. My days of driving around with the top down were numbered, so I grabbed Charlie’s car seat out of Mum’s car and fitted it into the rear seat of mine. Despite being forced to travel in a bright-pink car, he loved my car almost as much as I did.
Mental cobwebs didn’t stand a chance as we drove to the park with the wind rushing through our hair. I probably resembled a windswept poodle, thanks to my still damp hair, but it wasn’t like I had plans to see anyone. This green-eyed girl was getting a rare outing, liberated by the knowledge everybody I knew was either at college or work. Even if they weren’t, it was unlikely that they’d be hanging around a park in the middle of the day.
Today, the only person I needed to impress was Charlie and he was grinning broadly whenever I checked on him in my mirror. He waved to every person and animal we passed, including a squirrel that dashed across the road and very nearly got squished. I’d never been so relieved to see a disease-ridden rodent make it across the road alive and well.
Charlie’s babbling lasted for the entire ten-minute journey and he was still buzzing when we pulled into the car park. The moment I released him from his harness, he dived out of the car and hopped from one foot to the other. Due to the roar of the wind, I hadn’t caught half of what he’d said on the way and now had a bad feeling that I’d agreed to something I shouldn’t have.
In an attempt to calm his giddy excitement, I popped the boot open, then loaded him up with the picnic blanket and his ball, but it only seemed to crank him up even more. My rucksack weighed a ton when I dragged it over my shoulder. Spare clothes, wipes, mini first aid kit, food… the list was endless. Travelling light with a pre-schooler had to be a myth; either that or I was doing it wrong.
The latter probably, since everything I did was wrong according to Mum. I covered up my shudder by reaching for Charlie’s hand. ‘Ready then?’
‘Yeah!’ After a bit of juggling and rearranging of his cargo, he slipped his hand inside mine and tugged me away from the car. A boy on a mission, he led me over the bridge with a brook bubbling beneath.
‘Where are you taking me, Charlie?’
‘Nearly there, Aunty Alice,’ he said, dragging me deeper into the heart of the park.
‘OK, if you say so.’
He finally came to a stop at the foot of a giant oak tree with several of its leaves already turning from green to brown. ‘This one,’ he declared.
This one?
‘What do you mean, Charlie Bear?’ I peered up into the branches to see if he was pointing at something specific, a carving or a bird maybe, but nothing jumped out at me. ‘Am I supposed to be looking for something?’
‘Silly, Aunty Alice.’ He giggled and let go of my hand to point at the tree trunk. ‘This is the tree you agreed to climb.’
‘I did no such th—’Ah. Come to think of it, I did recall something to do with a tree. A groan built in the back of my throat but I managed to hold it in. ‘I did, didn’t I?’
Charlie nodded so hard I feared he’d shake something loose. His eyes sparkled as he looked from me to the tree and back again.
Shit.
‘That’s fine. No problem at all.’ Somehow I managed to sound confident so I stared up at the tree to hide my cringe from him. When I had my expression back under control, I looked down at Charlie. With a bit of luck, I’d be able to distract him with something else so he’d forget. ‘I just thought we could play football first though. You know, work up an appetite for lunch?’
Damn it, he was already shaking his head. ‘You promised we could do this first.’ His bottom lip poked out and the light in his eyes dimmed.
‘Um…OK.’ Talk about being a soft touch.
‘You’ll do it?’ he asked, looking up at me with wide-eyed awe.
‘I said I would, didn’t I?’ My voice wavered only slightly. ‘A promise is a promise, Charlie Bear.’ Just because I’d been crapped on my entire life didn’t mean I was about to do the same to Charlie—anybody else, no sweat—but not him. I knew exactly how much it hurt when the people you cared about kept breaking their promise.
Charlie threw his arms around my legs in a bear hug worthy of his nickname. ‘You’re the best aunty ever.’ The light in his eyes returned to full beam as he grinned up at me and scuppered my last shred of my resistance. Along with my common sense.
‘Let’s set up base camp over there.’ I pointed to a patch of grass bathed in dappled sunlight cast by the monster tree. The mere thought of climbing it gave me palpitations. No matter how many times I looked away, my gaze kept getting drawn back to the tree. There had to be some kind of optical illusion at play because the damn thing looked even bigger when you weren’t stood directly beneath it.
Not good.
Charlie pottered around setting up the picnic blanket, but the wind caught it and blew it a few metres away. He giggled and chased after it, then dragged it back. This time I weighed it down with the rucksack, full of the food that I no longer had an appetite to eat, and left him to it. ‘All done!’ he declared proudly.
I tore my gaze off the gazillion branches to see that he’d laid out the plastic cups and plates. ‘Wow, that looks great.’
Charlie didn’t even respond. He just sat stiff-backed on the blanket with his legs crossed and his hands in his lap as though he didn’t dare give me any reason to change my mind. His lips formed a perfect line, not smiling but not sad either as he waited and watched me with big round eyes full of expectation.
No pressure then, Alice.
I turned around to examine the tree again from afar. Determined to climb the giant tree even if it was the last thing I ever did—which it very well could be, based on my previous tree-climbing form—I tried to pick out the best route…or any route at all so long as I survived without too many broken bones.
On that cheery thought I trotted over to my rucksack and casually slipped my phone into my bra just in case of an emergency—like getting stuck up a tree—then stalked across the grass to stand at the foot of the tree. Up close its trunk was so big I couldn’t even wrap my arms around it. Out of earshot and with my back to Charlie, I let out the shaky breath I’d been holding and wiped my clammy hands over my skirt.
Shit…
Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t set out to flash everybody I met. Definitely not old men out walking their dogs and prone to heart attacks when I had enough to worry about already. Admittedly, I wasn’t renowned for being modest since it was all part of my act but that was when I was in character. Christ, I didn’t even have my thick tights on. Anybody walking by would be able to see straight up and get an eyeful of my arse.
I darted a glance at Charlie but his expression told me it was too late to pull out now and disappointing him wasn’t an option. Resigned, I lifted my leg and planted my foot on a knot sticking out of the tree just above knee height then launched myself upwards to grab the lowest branch. Charlie giggled, unable to contain his glee.
Here goes then.
Another knot stuck out