“You know as well as I do that Robbie wanted us together. He actively encouraged it.”
“Yeah, he did and look how that turned out.”
His jaw tightened. “Are you saying it was no good? That we were no good? God, Iz, Robbie would’ve loved knowing we finally got together.”
Loss wrapped around her heart, making it ache. “Maybe, but he would’ve also seen we were a bad idea together too.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes, before he exhaled heavily. “Look, you might not want to talk to me, but there’s someone else we have to think about.”
She planted her hands on her hips, her body humming with irritation and the urge to grip him by his stupidly large biceps and march him out of her studio. Didn’t he realize he was invading her only place of peace? “Who?”
“Maya Jackson. We have to do this calendar, Iz. We promised. If we don’t set up the shoot soon, it won’t be ready for Christmas. That little girl, her family and Kate are relying on you...us...to do this.”
She tipped her head back and glared at the ceiling. There was no way she’d let down Maya, suffering so acutely with leukemia, any more than she would continue a relationship with the firefighter who’d failed to respond quick enough to save her brother. No matter how the results of the ensuing investigation had confirmed that it was a falling beam that killed Robbie at the garage, she had to blame someone or she’d go insane.
The safest person to blame was strong, reliable Trent. A man she’d grown to deeply care for and admire during the four years before Robbie died. A man who knew her and her brother. Knew her home and her life...and who still wanted to know her.
He didn’t deserve her derision; he didn’t deserve everything she threw at him, yet time and again he became her target. She had to keep his interest at bay. Better still—stop it altogether.
She dropped her chin. “Fine. I’ll call Kate and set up a meeting. I don’t see how that has any bearing on my going to a beach party. I’ll call you when you need to be involved with the calendar, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. I wanted you before the explosion and I want you now. Why are you shutting me out like this? What good is it doing you?”
“For your information, I’m doing just fine. Just forget about us. We aren’t right for each other.”
“Why? Because I’m a firefighter?”
The disbelief in his tone hitched her stretched nerves tighter. “You’re too different. I’ve told you this before. I want more than you’ll ever be able to give me.”
“Like what?” His gaze burned with frustration. “You don’t want a man who can care for you, look after you and treat you how you deserve?”
She closed her eyes. She wanted all of those things. So much. “You really don’t understand what I’m saying, do you?”
“No.”
“Because it’s you, Trent.” Izzy opened her eyes, her heart aching. “Before Robbie died, I was reluctant to date you because half the female population wants to sleep with you. Now that Robbie’s gone, I would never, ever go out with a firefighter. Whether he was you or not.”
The silence stretched. Izzy fought not to squirm under his appraisal, fought not to reach forward for one blessed kiss from a man any woman would be a fool not to want. Well, better a fool than a grieving girlfriend.
His eyes darkened with determination. “I’m not giving up on you, Iz. You can fight me as much as you want. I won’t give up. If we’re nothing else, I hope we’re still friends.”
“For God’s sake, what is it you want from me?” Her eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t ask you to look after me. Why do you feel you have the right to keep hassling me?”
“Hassling you? I’m not hassling you, I’m caring about you. You accused me of hassling you before Robbie died... Nothing’s changed.”
“Nothing’s... How dare you? Everything’s changed.” Her cheeks burned hot as her traitorous tears slipped to her cheeks. She swiped at them with trembling fingers. “Everything. If you can’t see that, then I have less to say to you than I thought.”
He briefly closed his eyes. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”
“No? Then if you can’t think before you speak, why would I want to spend time with someone that insensitive?”
“Iz, please. Just come to the beach party tonight and I promise if you don’t have a good time, or at least relax awhile, I won’t bother you again.” He raised his hands in surrender. “I’ll respect whatever it is you’re doing on your own and leave you be.”
“On my own. Something you, Kate and every other person with a family alive and well will never understand.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. She’d revealed every ounce of her vulnerability. She crossed her arms and dragged her gaze from the humiliating sympathy in his expression to look toward the window behind him. “Is Kate going? Is this invite some way to get her and me talking again?” She looked at him. “I just told you I’ll call her and get things in motion with the calendar.”
“I don’t know if she’ll be there or not.” He stepped toward her and then stopped as though he changed his mind. He shoved his hand into his dark hair and held it there. “Doesn’t the fact that you two aren’t talking show you something is seriously wrong? You need people around you who care. Work doesn’t do what a hug can.”
She frowned. “A hug? You think a hug is all it will take to get rid of this pain?”
“No, but it will go a damn sight further than making another bundle of money will. Just take a break.”
Izzy glared. She’d made more money in the last few weeks than she ever thought possible. Her phone was ringing nonstop with assignments. It seemed the photography world, and collectors, relished pictures leaning more toward the dark than the dazzling. It was true the money had done nothing to alleviate her grief, but the work provided her with something to stop her thinking about her dead brother.
He cleared his throat. “You need something to take your mind off Robbie.”
She blinked. “I have that.”
“Let me guess...work.”
Asshole.
Their gazes locked until Izzy weakened under the weight of his glare. She spun away from him and headed to her desk. “Fine. I’ll come to the party.” She met his relieved gaze and ignored the way her heart lifted to see that her agreement had banished his rare and unwelcome anger. “I’ll go to the beach and I’ll eat, drink and be merry if you think that will fix this, but believe me, nothing will scratch the surface of what I’m feeling. Nothing. You’ve got what you come here for, so just go.”
He strolled toward her and came around the desk, standing so close she was forced to tip her head back to meet his eyes. Her heart picked up speed as she resisted the urge to inhale the musky, male scent of him. “What?”
He leaned down and brushed his lips over her cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
Her body paralyzed, yet her heart beat out of control as he turned and walked toward the door.
Only when the studio door swung shut behind him did Izzy drop into her chair and finally cry. She wanted to hit him. Hurt him. Inflict some of her physical pain onto Trent’s wide incapable shoulders and see what the hell he would do about it.