“Yeah, things were a little uncertain there for a while. The floodwaters were pretty wicked.”
“Water’s evil,” Elizabeth whispered, a venom in her voice that Addie understood. She looked at Dutch. He frowned, and the brief shake of his head told her not to follow that line of conversation. Addie was more than happy to leave it.
“Looks like everyone’s here.” Dutch nodded toward the big table in back. “Lots of change in the Hawkins clan.”
“Yeah.” Addie glanced over her shoulder at the overflowing table of her siblings, then laughed. “And then some. The family is growing so quickly.” She hated the wistfulness in her voice. Addie chose not to analyze that too much. “I’d better get back.”
“Come visit when you can,” he offered.
Elizabeth looked up from her meal and smiled. “Yes. Come visit.”
“I will. I promise.” She gave them each a hug, holding on to Dutch just a bit longer, as if maybe he could use a little encouragement. Being Elizabeth’s husband couldn’t always be easy. But he obviously loved her. He patted Addie’s hand that rested on his shoulder in silent thanks.
Addie glanced at Elizabeth and saw so much of Cal in her. Same color hair—except now Elizabeth’s dark hair was going gray. Same eyes. Same jawline.
Sometimes it hurt to look at Elizabeth.
Right now, Addie didn’t want to remember. Even the good times they’d shared hurt. There weren’t ever going to be any more. Thankfully, time had dulled the edge of that knife, and she could bear the hurt. Almost.
Suddenly, a strong arm slipped around her shoulders, and she yelped. Wyatt’s familiar hug surprised her. “Stop fretting, Ad,” he whispered in her ear.
“I’m not—fretting.” She frowned at him.
“Yeah, you are.” He gave her a brief kiss on top of her head. “But we love you for it.” He guided her to the table, where the waitresses had brought several plates of appetizers. Addie grabbed a potato skin that should taste amazing. It tasted like dust. She didn’t have enough energy left to enjoy the flavor.
Dutch and Elizabeth got up from their table, and Addie watched as he guided his wife to the register. While he paid the bill, Elizabeth looked around, confused, then finally took Dutch’s arm. Relief covered her face as he guided her outside.
“Addie.” Wyatt stared across the table at her. Just as he recognized her mother-hen mode, she recognized his dad mode. They’d spent way too much time taking care of their younger siblings.
She closed her eyes for an instant. “I’m fine, Wyatt,” she said, opening her eyes again and meeting his concerned gaze.
“I saw the way you were looking at the Fergusons. I know you’ve kept up with them over the years.” He paused, and she dreaded what he’d say next. “It wasn’t your fault, Ad.” The last she didn’t really hear, but rather, she saw the words form on his lips.
She shook her head. “I know.” She hadn’t even been there when...when the accident had happened. She’d tried for years to second-guess what might have happened if she had been there.
Wyatt leaned back in the wooden chair and considered her. She almost wanted to stand up and walk away. Instead, she smiled. It wasn’t as if everyone hadn’t done just that, at least once, over the years.
“Look—” She leaned forward and put her hand on his. His skin was so rough and calloused from working with the horses. She rubbed her fingertips over those hard-earned scars. “I care about them. I care about all of you.” She waved at the table full of the Hawkins clan.
“You’re done, sis,” he said softly. “It’s time you looked after you. You helped raise everyone. Lord knows you were the main caregiver for Mom up until the end. And I know you’d take on Elizabeth Ferguson out of some weird sense of obligation to Cal.” He shook his head. “But I’m telling you not to. Let Dutch handle it. You need to have your own life.” He leaned back, with the look of decision on his face that told her he considered the situation settled.
“Really?” She frowned and looked at Emily. “Did my brother actually say all that?” He wasn’t known for being a big talker.
“Yes. And he’s right,” Emily said.
“Now you’re ganging up on me?”
“No, we’re not.” Emily squeezed Addie’s hand. “Everyone’s grown now. You’ve earned the chance to build your own life.”
Addie stared at them. They didn’t understand, and she didn’t have a clue how to explain it. She’d never focused on herself, not since—not since Dad died. She’d grown up on that day, and she’d gladly taken on the role of nurturer.
The idea of giving that up made her panic as she looked at the faces around her. She’d helped them get here. She was proud of that, proud of all of them.
Her eyes stung. Everything was slipping away. What was she supposed to do now? She needed to be needed, needed someone to care for—to watch over, to want her attentions.
But her family didn’t need that from her anymore. And yes, Dutch could handle Elizabeth.
She’d had a chance at her own life, had dreamed of her own family, once upon a time. But fate hadn’t been on her side, and she’d lost that chance forever.
* * *
MARCUS SKYLAR RUSHED across the street, knowing full well that he was jaywalking and only slightly caring. He was late for class, and considering he’d given his students a lecture on timeliness last class, he didn’t dare show up late. They’d never let him off the hook for that one.
Campus was still alive with activity even this late in the day. He was running down the stairs in Richardson Hall, his wingtips slapping against the steps, when his phone rang. He tried to ignore the incessant noise, but he recognized that ringtone. It was Ryan. His thirteen-year-old son wasn’t someone he could afford to ignore. Not without Carolyn’s help to intervene.
He let the memory of her waft through only briefly. “Hello, kiddo. What’s up?” He shouldered the phone as he shoved open the hall door.
“We’re out of jelly.”
“Uh, okay. I’m in class for the next hour. We’ll discuss it later.”
“Peanut better tastes like crap without jelly.”
“Watch the language.” He tried to keep his surprise out of his voice. The boy was definitely changing lately. He’d have to deal with that at some point. “I’ll be home in a couple hours. I gotta go.” He hung up and stepped into the classroom.
Most of the seats were full, which gave him a sense of gratification. Many of his colleagues complained about the number of empty seats in their classes.
Marcus wasn’t sure if his class in military history was full because of the political climate and social awareness, or for some other reason. It didn’t matter. He’d take it. “All right, everyone.” He set his briefcase on the desk. “Let’s get started.”
“That was a close call, Prof,” Mitch, one of his most challenging students, said from the third row.
“Yeah, but it’s not because of my procrastination,” he pointed out to the young man who usually fell into that camp. “Teach my thirteen-year-old how to go grocery shopping, and maybe we’ll discuss your grade.”
The class laughed, and Marcus launched into today’s lecture. It was on one of his favorite subjects, and he had to be careful not to get lost in his rambling. Vietnam was a black mark on this country’s history, and still a tough topic to sell in some circles. He’d been hired specifically to share his knowledge on the collision of the government’s promises and society’s demands.