“Bad habit I picked up in the military. Being early.”
He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. Her eyes were pink rimmed and her lower lip still wanted to quiver. He had no idea what to do. She was ignoring the tears. Should he? Maybe it was nothing. The call was clearly personal. But he was here for a reason.
* * *
CRAP. SADIE PUT the glass in the sink and turned away from Wyatt’s appraising eyes. I can’t believe I let him walk up on me.
Losing your touch, Sadie girl. Getting soft and stupid.
“Are you okay?” he asked. Again.
“Sure. Got some news I didn’t want to hear. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
She walked out of the kitchen. Fine, ha. What was that old saying? Fine meant fucked-up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. Sounded about right. He followed her. She could sense his gaze on her back and she purposefully straightened her spine and lengthened her stride. Show no weakness. She’d learned the lesson hard and young. By the time she was six, she knew tears and pain were invitations to predators and bullies. In the classroom, she pretended to look for something in a filing cabinet. He perched on the edge of the table, still watching, which was starting to get annoying. Oh, it didn’t bother you this morning when he was getting your jokes and Aaron wasn’t. All that eye contact was causing some serious non-boss-like feelings. She slammed the file shut in disgust.
“Anything I can help with?”
She looked at him. There was a faint look of concerned puzzlement in his expression. Proved how little he knew. She didn’t need help. Ever. “No. I’m going to take Jack for a walk before we get started again.”
Thank God he didn’t follow her this time. She and Jack circled the block and she struggled to get her emotions under control while he watered his favorite plants and sign posts. Lena’s phone call had not been unexpected. She wished it weren’t so soon.
When she and Lena became friends and her family learned Sadie was essentially alone in the world, it had horrified them. So they took her in. They’d reduced her to tears with a surprise birthday party once and refused to let her pull away when their love frightened her. Lena’s grandfather was especially concerned about her and she often found ten-or twenty-dollar bills tucked into her jacket or purse after leaving their home. He was the one she’d let get the closest to her heart.
He had decided to end treatment for his cancer and was going into hospice care. While she knew it was probably for the best—an eighty-three-year-old man should have a peaceful exit from life surrounded by his loved ones, not medical procedure after medical procedure—she didn’t know how to deal with the impending loss. The tools of self-preservation learned in childhood would do her no good now.
Jack bumped his head into her hand as they reached the backyard. She squatted and hugged his stupid, furry neck. He wiggled around and licked at her tears.
“I know, Jackie Boy. I’m a hot mess, huh?”
His doggy grin seemed to agree. But he loved her anyway. She buried her face in his fur. Time to suck it up. We’ll cry about this later. We’ll figure out what to do later. For now, you’ve got a business to run.
She found Wyatt sitting alone in the classroom. He looked up at her entrance and dropped his gaze immediately. Her stomach dropped almost as suddenly. She could feel the awkwardness in the air. He was being nice. Like a normal person. And you messed up. As usual. She took a deep breath. “Hey. I’m sorry. I got some bad news about someone I’m very close to and was trying to process it.”
“It’s okay. Sorry I intruded on a private moment.”
She sat on the edge of the table and rubbed her hands against the backs of her arms. He tilted his head to look up at her and she got caught up in those warm hazel eyes. The concern was still there. But why? Why would he care? A small frown crinkled the corners of his eyes and the urge to spill out the whole story bubbled up inside her. How she used to pretend Abuelito was her real grandfather and how that little fantasy gave her something to hold on to in the seemingly bottomless free fall of her life. How she was terrified to watch him slip away. She was afraid she’d run away and shame herself in front of the family who had done so much for her. Pain and anger and fear rose from her gut to clog her throat with unshed tears.
“Hey,” Wyatt said, reaching for her arm. The frown deepened and his voice was soft, so soft and tender.
She leaped away. Pity. No. Horror at the idea of him feeling sorry for her drowned the pain, at least momentarily. Confusion showed clearly on his face and remorse stung her again. Would she never get this right? Could she not let her walls down?
“Dudes. Sorry I’m late. Traffic is a bear.”
She turned to Aaron with relief. Normally, she would lecture him on punctuality, but he’d saved her from making an even bigger fool of herself, so she forgave him. This time.
A RUMBLE OF voices greeted Sadie as she stomped down the back stairs from her apartment to the first-floor kitchen. She had enlarged the pantry and turned it into a supply room but had left most of the kitchen intact. It had a stove, sink, fridge. She and Molly had filled the cabinets with garage-sale finds. It was large enough for her to cook up a company dinner every month. She kept the fridge stocked with lunch foods and snacks for the guys. College kids ate constantly, it seemed. All that learning must burn calories. Several of the crew were grouped around the coffeemaker, filling up cups for the Tuesday morning meeting. A burst of raucous laughter exploded from the conference room. When one hires college guys, one endures college-guy humor.
“Hey, boss,” Josh greeted her.
“Morning. Okay, y’all, boss is here, step away from the coffeepot.” She reached for the carafe and held it up, swirling the dregs. “I should randomly fire someone for this.”
“Like to see that,” Josh said as he took the carafe from her. “I’ll start a fresh pot. I told you to invest in one of those Keurig things.”
“I should. It’s almost cruel and unusual to make me face the lot of you without coffee.”
“It’s cruel and unusual for you to make us get up at this ungodly hour on a Monday,” one of them called from the conference room.
“Whoever said that is the randomly fired guy,” she yelled back, and a wave of laughter and hooting rolled from the room. She touched Josh on the arm as he poured grounds into the machine. “I want to talk to you after the meeting.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
She walked into the conference room where almost every employee was gathered around the large dining table. Others were holding up the walls. A silent scuffle at the end of the table caught her attention. The two went still when they realized she was watching. Malik gave her his best choirboy face. But Eric’s redhead complexion was giving him away. She stared at the faces around the table. Everyone had gone still with expressions ranging from innocent to amused. Except Wyatt Anderson. He lounged back casually in his chair, but his eyes were alert and appraising. She got the impression of a cat watching the spot where its prey hid. A little thrill ran through her, and she frowned at her body’s reaction. This had to stop. She turned Malik and held out a hand.
“Gimme. And it better not be porn again. Y’all drank my coffee, and it’s too freaking early for porn.”
A folded newspaper made its way down the table to her. She picked it up. The urge to laugh was accompanied by a prickle of irritation. It was an ad campaign by Marcus Canard, her closest competition. Well, she wasn’t competing with him. But he definitely was competing with her. For the first time, the Cleaning Crew had won the Charleston City Paper’s coveted Best of Charleston Award for Best Cleaning