Suddenly, Caleb was having second thoughts about being here. And third thoughts. For an instant, he wondered if he should simply get his old job back, and look for a different resolution in his life. Someplace where he didn’t have to be around Leanne, or the memories she’d left him with, memories that once-upon-a-time had nearly destroyed him. Sure, they had been kids back then, but some hurts didn’t go away. Instead, they lingered and festered like an open wound. Leanne was his open wound.
* * *
Leanne Sinclair leaned her head back against her chair and sighed. “All you have to do is say the word, and I won’t go.” She’d known that returning home might be a possibility, but now? She’d had four great months with Eric and, while she wasn’t ready yet to call him the one, he was certainly settling in on that distinction. He’d asked her, two weeks into their relationship, to make it exclusive, and she’d agreed.
But now, her dad needed her home. Five hundred and eighty-two miles from Seattle, and from Eric. A nineteen-hour drive due to the rough terrain. Not so far in miles, but very far by the emotions when she really had none invested in Marrell, Montana. Hadn’t for a long time.
And, while she was absolutely coming back to Seattle after she got the situation in Marrell sorted, she wasn’t sure, yet, how everything was going to work. Her dad was going into semiretirement with an eye toward full retirement in a year, and he was giving her his hospital. Not only that, but he wanted her to stay and run it.
Like that would ever happen.
“I’m waiting,” she said to Eric, her eyes still closed.
“Going home’s not such a bad thing, is it? And it’s not like it’s going to be forever.”
That wasn’t exactly what she’d wanted to hear from him. Somehow, in her mind, she’d expected him to ask her to stay. Or even beg her. Tell her he couldn’t live without her, or didn’t want to. But to suggest she should go?
“And it’s not like Marrell’s that far from Seattle,” he continued. “We can meet up in the middle somewhere, anytime we’re both free.”
She stared up at him. Eric Harrison was a handsome man. Movie-star good looks. Black, wavy hair, green eyes, nice physique. “Are you saying you want me to go? Is that what I’m hearing?”
Eric, who was standing across from Leanne, leaned forward, placed the palms of his hands flat on her desk and shook his head. “Of course, I don’t want you to go. But we don’t all get the choices we like, do we?”
No, she hadn’t expected this at all, and she was stunned by how quickly the hurt was bubbling up in her. “I don’t understand. Since we’re so new, I thought you’d want me to stay.”
He chuckled. “Don’t be so insecure. We’ll make this work, no matter where you are.”
“A long-distance relationship?”
“For three months. A lot of people do it for a whole lot longer than that. It’s not so difficult these days.”
“But I’m not a lot of people.” And she wanted to stay close to her man. She also wanted him to want her to stay closer and, so far, Eric was avoiding that.
“No, you’re not, or I wouldn’t have been so attracted to you in the first place.”
Maybe it was some undefined apprehension causing her to wonder if that attraction had been anything other than physical for him. Some stupid insecurity just now popping up. Because she was feeling apprehensive about going to Marrell. Not sure why, but her stomach was doing flip-flops, now that the plan was all but definite. “Can we try to schedule meeting somewhere two or three times a month?”
“Or more, if we can work it out.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “It’s going to work, Leanne. You’ve got my promise.”
Maybe she had his promise, but what she didn’t have was his optimism. And she wasn’t normally such a pessimist. But there was something about going home for three months...
* * *
“One year, ten months,” Henry Sinclair stated emphatically. He and Leanne were strolling together through the halls of Sinclair Hospital, both wearing white jackets, both looking very doctorly.
“That long?” Leanne questioned. “I’d have sworn I came home sometime about a year ago.” Her dad looked good. He claimed his health was great, and she trusted he wasn’t lying to her. Plus, he was a man in love. After a lifetime of having no mother, at age thirty-six she was about to get one. Dora was nice. Leanne had known her all her life, and she was sure that her dad and Dora would be happy together. Maybe Dora would succeed in something where she’d failed—holding her dad’s attention for more than a minute or two at a time. She hoped so.
“Nope. I marked it off on the calendar. One year and ten months, which you might as well call two years.”
Admittedly, she hadn’t been the most dutiful of daughters these past several years. First, because she just didn’t like coming home. And second, because as her responsibilities and skills continued to move her forward in Seattle’s medical mainstream, she was better able to forget Marrell. Some memories weren’t as vivid, she was discovering now that she was back, and she was fine with that.
So, she was eager to get on with whatever she had to do so she could go back to her real life. To Eric. Because the farther she was away from him in miles, the further she felt distanced emotionally. The way she always had, in every other relationship, affair or friendship she’d attempted. Eric was her success. Her longest. Except Caleb, but that had been a kid thing, which didn’t count. And now, she didn’t want anything happening to what she had with Eric. But she was already beginning to feel the detachment, wondering if it had something to do with Marrell.
What was it about this place that made her feel so uncomfortable?
“So, about the hospital, Dad...”
“I know. You don’t want it. Don’t want to move back here.”
“None of that’s changed.” Couldn’t, wouldn’t.
“You always knew it would be yours, Leanne. This shouldn’t come to you as a surprise.”
“It doesn’t. But I’m not...” She drew in a deep breath. This was difficult because she didn’t want to hurt him. While her feelings for her dad were strained, there was nothing malicious in her. Nothing that made her want to punish him. Living how she wanted would, though, as that didn’t include her dad’s dream. “Since I’m not moving back, my thought was to own it from a distance and trust the daily operations to someone else.” She could tell by the disappointment registering on her dad’s face it wasn’t what he’d hoped for. But it was the best she could do. “I don’t fit in here, Dad.” Hadn’t since she’d been a kid. In fact, the most solid memory of her childhood was her plan to get away from Marrell as soon as she could.
She and Caleb running away together... They were only nine or ten when they’d planned it, but it was a plan that had always stayed alive in her with, or without, Caleb. “I’ve lived away from Marrell almost as long as I lived here, and the blood in my veins runs pretty thin when it comes to my sentiment for this place.”
Finally arriving at her dad’s office, she followed him in, immediately went to the cushy leather chair across the desk from him and sat down. Same chair she’d always sat in. Same decorations. Fishing lures and poles hung on the wall, photos of fishing trips filled spaces where fishing gear did not, along with old photos of babies he’d delivered and patients he’d cured. No pictures of her. Bookshelves on the south wall were filled with medical volumes and books about—yes, fishing. All of him, none of her. Such a stark reminder of what she’d never had.
“There’s nothing I can say or do to change your mind?” Henry asked, dropping down into the well-worn leather chair behind his desk.
“I