She couldn’t believe she’d been dragging his old T-shirt around with her all these years. At first, after the breakup, she’d slept in the shirt. It was huge on her, falling past her knees, wide enough for two of her. Just the size of it reminded her of how she’d felt in Flint’s arms. Totally wrapped up.
Wishful thinking. And that wasn’t like her.
Well, she didn’t need the shirt anymore, or the memories, she thought as she glanced out the open patio doors of her new apartment, breathing in the sight and smell of the Pacific. The sea was glassy, golden in the last of the day’s light. From the third-story deck, she could hear the waves breaking on the sandy beach. It was one of the reasons she’d taken this apartment. Here she had the view, the sounds and smells of the only place that had ever felt like home.
Too bad everyone in her family had moved away after her parents divorced. Her dad at least was only upstate, a few hours away by plane, in Sacramento. Her mother was in Alabama with her family. Her sister Emily and husband Lance were in Seattle.
It was as though everyone had scattered after Anna left. As if the family had blown apart. Not that it hadn’t been ready to blow before Anna had announced that her engagement to Flint was off.
“You didn’t really throw the ring at him!” Her sister Emily had given her the eye roll that meant she thought Anna had done something irrational. Her younger sister had been giving her the eye roll for as long as Anna could remember.
“The ring is yours to keep,” her mother had said, always the mercenary.
Anna had looked at the two of them as if they’d lost their minds. “I never want to see that ring again. Ever.”
Her mother and Emily had exchanged a she-is-never-going-to-get-it look. To them, there was no higher calling than a wedding ring on a woman’s finger.
Anna had figured the timing was as good as any to tell them the rest of her news. “I’m going to Washington, D.C., and become a SWAT team paramedic.” She was rewarded with gasps from both mother and sister. She’d looked to her dad, expecting his support.
Anna frowned now at the memory. She’d thought he would be excited about her decision.
Instead he’d looked worried and upset. “If you’re certain that’s what you want to do,” he’d said. “But make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons, Anna.” Not exactly what she’d been expecting.
“Isn’t it…dangerous?” Emily had asked.
“That’s what she likes about it,” her mother had said. “She wants to turn my hair completely gray.” Everything was always about their mother.
Anna shrugged off the past and the memories that had tried to weigh her down the last five years. She wasn’t responsible for her parents’ divorce—no matter what her sister said.
“You becoming a SWAT whatever was the straw that broke the camel’s back,” Emily had accused her at the time.
“Thank you, Emily, I really needed that,” Anna had replied. “I’m sure it was me and not the fact that our parents have never gotten along, were never compatible in any way, and now, finally free of children, can happily go their separate ways.”
“They used to be in love,” Emily had said indignantly. “Before…before everything that happened.”
Anna turned now to survey her apartment, not surprised that coming back to Courage Bay would stir up the ghosts of her past. The apartment, though, was perfect—small, but the view of the ocean made up for space. She took another deep breath of the night air and let it out slowly. It did feel good to be back.
A tremor of excitement rippled through her. She hugged herself, wrapping her arms around Flint’s T-shirt, still in her hands. The excitement was quickly replaced with anxiety. Flint. Eventually she would run into him. He must be a detective by now and on the fast track for the chief of police job. Hadn’t that always been his dream?
She wondered how he’d take the news that she was back in town. Unfortunately she didn’t have to guess how he would react to her new job. Not that it mattered to her one way or the other. Not anymore.
It probably wouldn’t matter to him, either, she realized. Not after five years. Flint was a formidable ghost, one she’d spent years trying to exorcize from her thoughts. She doubted it had taken that long for him to forget her.
Walking to the open deck door, she breathed in the sea air, trying to clear her thoughts. There was nothing more to do tonight. She was moved in and would start work in the morning. She had a 7:30 a.m. meeting with Chief of Police Max Zirinsky.
She doubted she’d be able to sleep a wink, she was so excited. She had the job she’d set out to get. A great apartment. And she was back in Courage Bay. Nothing could spoil it. Not even the thought of Flint Mauro.
She glanced back over her shoulder at the phone book, which she’d left open on the bed. Okay, she hadn’t been able to help herself. She’d looked up his number. Just to see if he was even still in town. He was, although he had a different number from the one they’d had when they’d lived together. It seemed he’d moved to the harbor area. She didn’t recognize the address, but then, Courage Bay had grown since she’d left.
Anna had made a point of not keeping up with local news during those years she’d been gone. Since her family had moved away, there had been no reason to come back to Courage Bay until this job offer.
For a while after she’d left, she’d stayed in touch with friends in town, but quickly realized she didn’t want to know what Flint was doing, didn’t want to hear about his latest girlfriend or any stories about his latest case.
For all she knew, Flint could be married by now with a couple of kids.
The pang of regret surprised her. She thought she’d long ago forgotten those silly talks they used to have lying in bed, debating what their babies would look like. They had both wanted a large family. They’d even come up with some names. What was the one that had made them both laugh so hard?
She shook herself out of that thought pattern and closed the deck doors. She had put Flint and Courage Bay behind her. Until Max had called with the job offer and she’d realized there was nothing she wanted more than to come back home. Courage Bay had been her home all but five of her twenty-nine years.
Now she wondered why she hadn’t asked Max about Flint when he’d offered her the job. Max had known them both well. He’d known how devastated she’d been when she’d had to break off the engagement and leave.
She guessed the reason she hadn’t asked Max was that she didn’t want him thinking she was still hung up on Flint Mauro. Because she wasn’t. Flint had nothing to do with her life anymore. Nor she with his.
As she turned, she realized she still had his T-shirt in her hands. She walked over to her new wastebasket and dropped the shirt into it. Tomorrow she started her new life in Courage Bay. No regrets. No looking back. She wasn’t the same young woman who’d left here, and she was bound and determined to prove it.
10:15 p.m.
FLINT MAURO stood on the stern of the boat he called home and stared out at the Pacific. A cool breeze stirred his thick black hair, lifting it gently from his forehead. He frowned as he took in the familiar horizon.
Do Whatever It Takes. That was his motto, wasn’t it? Do Whatever It Takes. And that’s what he did every day. Focusing on his job, his boat, his workouts. Not thinking about the past. The past was too painful. And yet it was there. A splinter just under his skin. On nights like tonight he could feel it pricking him, making him itch for something he’d once had—and had lost.
The flag on the bow flapped restlessly in the breeze coming off the sea. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the familiar scents of the ocean and the night. He’d bought the boat and moved aboard five years ago,