“I’ll line up some possibilities.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Marcia.”
Weak-kneed, Rachel sank into a chair. She’d be stuck in Matt’s hometown for five more weeks. But not one day more.
* * *
CHASTITY’S HUMMING PROVED her excitement over the upcoming picnic. Rachel only wished she could share the enthusiasm. “You promise you won’t give me grief in five weeks’ time?”
“I promised like three times already. You don’t have to keep asking.”
Rachel had asked several times, but she was extremely nervous about the potential fallout if things went sour.
The Johnstons’ house came into view. The white home with its black shutters and wraparound porch, decorated with hanging baskets overflowing with blossoms, represented every fantasy Rachel had ever had of a happy, normal home. She couldn’t recall her parents ever having a permanent residence. When they’d lived in the States they’d been dependent on the church to provide temporary accommodations, because they were always waiting for the next mission, the next cause. They’d literally owned nothing except for their clothes and necessities.
Her stomach tensed and her hands tightened on the steering wheel. The Johnstons had always represented the perfect family—the kind she’d wished she had—and she dreaded looking them in the eye, knowing how she’d wronged them.
It always came back to the mistakes she’d made. No matter how many good things she’d done since that traumatic turning point in her life, she felt as if she’d always be the screwup who’d tainted everyone and everything in her path. She’d disappointed her parents, made her saintly sister lie and hadn’t been good enough to raise her own daughter.
She parked the car. Chastity launched from the vehicle and raced around the side of the house, leaving Rachel alone with her doubts. She forced herself to get out of the car and ordered her feet forward. They hesitantly complied. Then Matt came around the corner. Her heart crashed into her rib cage, and her courage fled.
With the sun glinting off his golden hair and the sky-blue color of his polo shirt accentuating his eyes, Matt looked every inch the all-American male, the hometown hero. Her mouth dried and her pulse raced. Apparently the old saying was true. A girl never forgot her first love.
“Glad you made it.”
Rachel forced a smile, pretending she was happy to be there. She tugged at the suddenly tight neck of her T-shirt and smoothed a hand over her shorts to wipe her sweat-dampened palms, then used the excuse of stuffing her key and wallet into her pockets to avoid his outstretched hand. “Chastity was as thrilled as you predicted.”
“You could have joined us at church.”
“We were packing.” She hadn’t set foot in a church since the day she’d given birth. That day she’d stopped by the hospital chapel to beg forgiveness for her selfish ways and vowed to put others first from that moment forward if God would look out for her daughter. He’d upheld his end of the deal, and she had hers.
“Come on back.” He held open the gate to a white picket fence. She sidled through the gap, being careful not to touch him. He represented everything she couldn’t have and didn’t deserve. No point in torturing herself. The gate snapped shut behind them, startling her with the finality of that clang.
A dozen people occupied the backyard, giving Rachel a serious case of stage fright. Chastity and a blond-haired girl sat poolside, dangling their feet in the water and leaning close to whisper. A couple of men, beers in hand, guarded the grill, and several giggling, squealing children played in a water sprinkler on the lawn.
Chastity fit right in here. But Rachel had denied her the opportunity to be part of this rambunctious, happy family. Would they have accepted “Rachel the Rebel’s daughter”?
A woman with the same golden hair as Matt’s, albeit glinting with silver strands in the sunlight, came toward them. Rachel identified Matt’s mother even though they’d never met. Carol Johnston had passed on her chiseled lips and determined chin to her son and granddaughter. How could they not see the resemblance? The knot of guilt tightened in Rachel’s belly.
“Rachel, welcome. I’m Carol, and I’ve been looking forward to meeting Chastity’s idol.” She grasped Rachel’s hand and patted the back of it.
Thrown by the comment, Rachel blinked. “Her idol?”
“Chastity talks about you nonstop. Practically every conversation is peppered with ‘Aunt Rachel this and Aunt Rachel that.’ You are her hero.”
Rachel’s joy was quickly doused by the knowledge that Hope must have hated that as much as Rachel had hated living in her saintly sister’s shadow.
Rachel stuffed her fists into her pockets as soon as Carol released her. “I guess it’s just her age. My job and travel probably sound exotic.”
“Or it could be she sees you’re out there making a difference in the world. It’s harder to do that here in Johnstonville.”
Matt frowned. “How do you know all this?”
Carol shrugged. “Chastity and Jessica are practically inseparable. When they talk, I listen like a good nana. It’s the only way to know what they’re plotting. And from the stories Chastity tells, you’re far braver than I am, Rachel.”
Chastity got to spend time with her grandmother even if she didn’t know it. Had Hope arranged that on purpose? “I’m sure Chastity enjoys her time here and that Hope appreciated your help.”
Carol’s smile fell. “We’ll certainly miss Hope. I’m not sure what the Church Women’s Auxiliary will do without her. She was a powerhouse of ideas and energy.”
Carol embraced her. Rachel froze in surprise. Hugs hadn’t been a part of her life. She wasn’t sure how to respond. Before she could figure it out, Carol withdrew. “I need to make sure the men aren’t charring our lunch. Matt will get you something to drink and introduce you to everyone. You might remember Pam. She graduated a couple of years ahead of you. And Jake was a year behind you.”
Rachel dreaded the introductions. Did Matt’s siblings remember the rumors? Debra Sue and her cronies had told anyone who’d listen that Rachel had slept with half the males in the senior class.
A slender blonde with pixie-cut hair met Rachel and Matt halfway across the lawn. “I’m Pam. We’re so glad you could make it.”
“Thank you, and thanks for taking care of Chastity last night and for all you’ve done since Hope’s...passing.”
Pam took Rachel’s hand and squeezed it. “My pleasure. Chastity is always welcome at our house. I know you’re both going through a tough time now. If you need an ear...just call.”
The sincere kindness in Pam’s eyes thickened Rachel’s throat. “Thank you.”
Pam linked her arm through Rachel’s, led her to the tables and introduced her to the other adults. Bill, Matt’s father, had given both Matt and Jake his tall, athletic build. Rachel vaguely remembered Jake from the one time he’d tried to tag along with them to the lake. She’d never met his wife, Leann.
The Johnstons’ warm welcome was overwhelming, given how badly she’d wronged them. To keep her mind off her guilt, Rachel studied the interactions between the Johnston siblings. She and Hope had never shared anything like the camaraderie and gentle, teasing barbs she observed between them.
Matt’s father refilled Rachel’s glass. “It’s amazing what kids will come up with to get a little attention. Take those two.” He nodded toward Chastity and Jessica now swinging on a wide wooden bench hanging from a massive oak branch. “They’re trying to decide between getting their navels or tongues pierced.”
Brad,