‘Okay then!’ I force out through my laughter.
‘You’ll do it?’ She gets to her feet and hugs me. ‘I am so grateful, darling! You won’t regret this, I promise.’
‘I hope not,’ I say as I tear off a piece of kitchen roll and clean away the lipstick from Cassie’s chin.
‘I’m off to choose an outfit but I’ll be back later to check that we don’t clash!’ She pecks my cheek then dashes off through the garden and I am left standing at the sink. I plunge my hands in the bowl of soapy warm water and start washing the breakfast things.
I cannot believe what I have just agreed to do.
I am going on a double date.
For the first time in years, I need to get ready to have dinner with a man I’m not married to. The thought is at once thrilling yet disconcerting. Vlad evidently likes Cassie but she’s unaware of it and has hopes for a romance with his gym buddy. I could help her to get to know both men and decide which one she should date properly. Of course, I could be wrong about Vlad. I mean, I hardly know the man and he might not be her Mr Right, but if we don’t go, she’ll never find out.
Evan’s face flashes through my mind as I rinse a glass and for some strange reason I feel a prickle of guilt, as if I’m betraying him by even thinking of going on a date. But it’s silly, we’re not together and haven’t been for ages. I mean, I’ve been married to another man since then.
As I dry my hands, I realise that I’m not actually sure that I could flirt with another man, let alone kiss one or do more. It’s like riding a bicycle, so I’ve heard, but I never was that good at cycling; I don’t have the best sense of balance.
Something brushes my naked foot and as I look down, I see a small black cricket hopping across the floor. I grab a glass and place it over the creature, careful not to catch its legs beneath the rim. As I watch it wriggling around in the confined space, it reminds me of my own situation. I do the same things week in, week out, chasing around in circles, not getting anywhere except for older. I have beautiful children, I have a lovely home, I have relatively good relationships with my two ex-husbands and I have a few close friends. Yet life is passing me by and time waits for no woman.
Perhaps it is time to do something for myself, to have a little fun, to play matchmaker for my dearest friend who seems unable to find a decent man herself even when there’s one right under her nose.
****
So I’m ready. At least, I think I’m ready. I’m wearing black; black trousers and a black camisole top under a black chiffon blouse, which falls to mid-thigh. I feel sick and shaky as I step into my black heels and my legs tremble. This is ridiculous. I’m too old for this. I dress smartly for work but I don’t try to look attractive. I can’t recall the last time I actually consciously thought about trying to make myself look alluring. Smart and presentable, yes, but I’m not out to bag a man so I tidy myself up then focus on my children. This makes me feel strange, reminds me of dressing up to go on dates with Evan all those years ago. I used to make such an effort for him. Of course, that changed once I’d had Janis and had no time to spend on my appearance any more. Not that he was around much to notice anyway in the later days of our marriage.
I stand before the mirror and check out the end result. Not bad. Could be worse. My hair is clean and shiny and a rich chocolate truffle brown – I have the semi-permanent hair dye that was in the bathroom cabinet to thank for the colour. It could do with a cut but to disguise the fact that my layers are in dire need of a trim, I created some soft waves with my straighteners. It now looks gently tousled, though I have no doubt that the waves will drop and it will hang lankly by the end of the night. My brown eyes look darker because I have smudged them with black kohl eyeliner and applied some of the mascara that was lurking at the bottom of my make-up bag. I did hesitate before using it; after all, I’ve read that you can develop eye infections from cosmetics that have been open for a while, but I decided to risk it.
It’s been a while since I donned heels, so I hobble across the landing and tap at Janis’ door. We’ve had a peaceful afternoon as Dex picked Henry and Anabelle up at four. They were going to the cinema to see the new fairy tale movie, so I was glad to hand them over as they were both getting more and more wound up by the minute.
‘Come in!’
I enter and jump as she gasps. ‘Wow, Mum! I’m not sure I should let you out looking like that. You’re… so…’
Panic fills my chest. Oh no, I’ve overdone it. ‘Should I wash my face?’ I ask my seventeen-year-old daughter. ‘Is it too much?’
Shouldn’t this be the other way around?
‘No! Definitely not! I was about to say that you look amazing, Mum.’
‘Pah!’ I wave my hand and smile then lean over and give her a hug. ‘Thanks love. I know I don’t but at least I’m clean and well cared for.’
She giggles and hugs me back. ‘Mum, you don’t realise how attractive you are.’
I shake my head. ‘Will you be okay tonight? I’ve left money in the kitchen in case you want a pizza and there’s plenty of food in the fridge.’
‘I know, Mum and w… I’ll be fine, I promise.’
I smile at her, my chest filling with pride. She’s beautiful, intelligent and so grown-up. Before I know it, she’ll be moving out, getting married and having kids of her own. The thought brings an ache to my chest and I blink hard.
‘Hey Mum, now stop it or you’ll have to redo your make-up. Hang on!’ She jumps up from her bed where she’s been working on her laptop and goes to her dressing table. She returns with a pretty dragonfly shaped diamante slide. She slips it into the side of my hair, fluffs my fringe, then stands back and smiles. ‘There. Perfect.’
I check out my reflection and have to agree. It does add some sparkle.
‘Mum, I need the loo but I’m waiting for a call. Could you hang on for five minutes?’
I nod and Janis hurries off to the bathroom. The moment she’s gone, her laptop suddenly makes a noise and I approach it cautiously to see that her father is calling on Skype. I press the accept button and Evan pops up in front of me.
‘Annie?’ He peers at me. I frown in return.
‘Of course it’s me, Evan.’ I see myself in the bottom corner of the screen and cringe.
‘Hey Annie, how’re you doing?’ His white linen shirt sets off his golden skin. He has that endearing air of innocence mixed with a wicked twinkle in his eye. His smile lights up his face and something funny happens. My stomach gives a little flip, just like it used to all those years ago when I was an undergraduate. I attribute it to my nervous state. ‘You look amazing. Are you going out?’ A frown flickers across his clear brow but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared.
‘Yes, with Cassie. She persuaded me to have a night on the tiles.’ For some strange reason I don’t want to tell him that it’s a double date.
‘She’s got a date!’ Janis announces as she plops onto the bed next to me.
‘Janis!’ I shake my head.
‘What?’ She nudges me. ‘She has, Dad. That’s why she’s all dressed up.’
I shrug, irritated by my daughter’s comments. I’m almost hurt by her flippancy about the subject and I instantly long for the comfort of my pyjamas and a night in front of the TV. I feel embarrassed, as if I’m doing something wrong.
‘Well, have a great time, Annie.’
‘Thanks. You too.’
‘I’m not going anywhere this evening,’ he says, staring right at me, his blue-green eyes like full pools after a rainstorm. I spent hours gazing into those eyes. Even now,