Eden inwardly cringed at the fact that he had seen her that day. Her uncle had forced her to wear a hideous, orange-and-red-flowered dress from a charity basket—to show her gratitude for the gift, he had said—and she hadn’t wanted Jeremy to see her in it. When she had seen his car, she had tried to hide behind a tree, but she hadn’t been fast enough. The dress was like a flashing beacon. Their eyes had met. There had been nothing he could do but wave at her.
“Well, you did the right thing in the end,” she said. “You told your aunt everything once you were well.”
“But you kept my secret,” he mused.
“It was your secret,” she said simply. She meant every word. A girl who grew up with a mother who was unable to be a parent because of her drinking problem knew too well what it was like to have to face humiliating truths. Between that and this last year after her husband’s desertion and betrayal, she knew what it was to have things she wanted to hide from the world. “It wasn’t mine to tell,” she said simply.
“And what if I had hurt others in that accident?”
Eden closed her eyes and looked away. “I would have told, then,” she said, guessing that was not the answer he sought.
Silence followed. Somewhere a clock chimed. Eden waited, sure she would be shown the door. The clock chimed again.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Eden,” Jeremy finally said. “And eventually, if you still want the position after you know all that the job entails, then I’m going to hire you. You might regret taking it before the next few weeks are over.”
She was regretting it already. From the minute that Ashley had called her, she had regretted even considering coming here, just as she’d known she would take this job despite any regrets.
“Tell me,” she said. “Whatever it is that I need to know.”
For a second when Jeremy looked toward her, she could swear that he saw her clearly. His expression was that intense. Her heart began to pound. “When I was in college,” he began, “I was a sperm donor. My reasons were…not the usual and they weren’t honorable. I wasn’t in it for the money the way many of the donors were. I wasn’t even trying to do something noble by attempting to help another human being. I don’t want to go into the details, but let’s just say that it was a rash act, and the whole experience was very short term, not nearly as long as the months most donors commit to. Nevertheless, I may have fathered children. I most likely did, even though I have no idea of how many there might be. Not many, I would think, if any. Still…” His jaw hardened.
“I—” Eden’s heart pounded even harder. She didn’t know where this was going, but she could tell that it was going somewhere bad.
He held up one hand, stopping her speech.
“Eden, it’s important that I find any children I may have fathered. I have good reasons, not frivolous ones, and I need…”
She looked up, straight into his anguished eyes. “It’s because you’re going blind. You’re afraid for them,” she said.
“Yes.” He bit off the word harshly.
“The sperm bank?”
“Out of business. I’ve hired a private investigator to help out, but once that bridge is crossed, there will need to be personal contact. Interaction. I’ll want to help anyone affected, to refer them to those who can advise them, to provide money and care if the worst comes to pass. I’ll want them to know what to expect. I have to do this right. Those children and their parents have to be protected. They have to be approached with sensitivity, more than I trust myself to be capable of.”
She stood and moved closer. The desire to touch him was strong, but she wouldn’t do that.
“Tell me what they can expect. What can you do? What can you see?”
He turned and looked down at her, and now, with only a small bit of space separating them, she realized the full impact of being this close to him.
“I can’t do everything I used to do, but I do all that I can,” he said quietly. “And I can still see you. At least for now. I can still see most of you.”
Eden’s breathing kicked up. She had no idea what “most of you” meant, but the mere fact that he was concentrating on her with such fierceness made her heart race.
“You’re good with children?” he asked.
“Yes. Very good. My students are happy. My sisters, whom I raised, don’t live near but they call frequently.”
“You care about young people, then. You can talk to them and their families.”
He was closer still. Somehow she managed to nod. “I can do that.”
“When the time comes,” he continued. “When I find them—and I will—I’ll need someone who understands the complexities and fears and joys of children. I have no experience and I won’t have any. There’ll be no children for me. I won’t risk passing this on to anyone else, but for anyone who might share my DNA I’ll do what I can. I’ll want you to help me research the possibilities for maintaining normalcy from those who’ve lived through it, not just from my doctors. I’ll want you to help me be an example of what can be, not what can’t be. Do you understand, Eden?”
She understood that this man fought demons, that he was racked with guilt, that he had closed off avenues in his future. She also understood what he was asking her and what taking this position might cost her, because he was just as potent as ever.
“I understand. I’m not only an excellent teacher, by the way. I’m an excellent researcher. And I have contacts. People who work with those in need. Discreet people. I know that’s not what you were asking, but it might help you… and in helping you be a help to the children. I think you need the skills I possess.”
He stood there for a minute as if astonished at her words.
“I think Ashley might have been right.” Jeremy reached out as if to touch her before lowering his hand to his side. But despite his failure to make contact, her body jolted. For a long moment she was too aware of herself as a woman and Jeremy as a man she had once longed for desperately. That was so wrong and emotionally dangerous, and every fiber of her being told her to run. Now. Before she got hurt.
The men who’d had had the greatest impact on her life, from her worthless, absent father to her resentful, unloving uncle to her faithless, undependable husband, had only ever brought pain and humiliation into her life. And those had been men she at least had something in common with, not someone like Jeremy, who inhabited a world that didn’t even intersect with her own. So no, she couldn’t risk her heart and dignity again.
Except…she would. Her financial situation was so dire that she couldn’t even consider walking away. And the children facing a frightening future…she couldn’t ignore them, could she?
“Here are the details of your employment,” he told her, and he named a sum of money that nearly made Eden’s head spin. “That as well as room and board. Can you get me started on the path I need to follow? Will you stay with me until this is done or until the summer ends?” he asked.
There had been a time when she would have given all that she was to hear Jeremy ask if she would stay with him, but that had been a young girl’s dream. A shimmery, no-connection-to-reality dream that was, thankfully, long gone. This was entirely different. It was real, and it was simply work, she told herself.
“I’ll stay,” she promised. Just to help and to work, she reminded herself again.
“Good,” Jeremy said with a sudden brilliant smile that turned him into pure male temptation. Eden wanted to groan. “You’ve made me a happy man.”
The comment made Eden wonder how many women Jeremy had said that to and under what circumstances, and she knew then