The breadth of his shoulders beneath the flannel shirt he wore, the rippling strength of his abdominal muscles, the strength of those wide-palmed hands. The way his mouth curved just a little higher on the left side when he smiled; the almost-imperceptible scar on his chin, the result of a misstep as he’d climbed over a fence when he was eight years old. His hair was damp, as if he’d recently stepped out of the shower, and his jaw was freshly shaven, tempting her to reach up and touch the smooth skin.
“Do you want to take your coat off?”
“Sure.” But she pulled off her mittens and hat first, tucking them into the pockets of the long coat she’d borrowed from her cousin. When she finally stripped off the heavy garment, he took it from her, hanging it on a hook by the door, beside his Sherpa-lined leather jacket.
“Keep your boots on,” he said when she reached down to untie them. “The floor’s probably cold.”
It might have been true, but the abruptness of his tone suggested that he didn’t want her to get too comfortable or stay for too long. She kept her boots on, but wiped them carefully on the mat before stepping off it.
The main floor plan was open, with a dining area on one side and a living room on the other. The furniture was distressed leather with nail-head trim, oversize and masculine in design but perfect for the open space. Flames were crackling inside the river-rock fireplace, providing the room with both warmth and ambience. Jesse had moved to the kitchen, separated from the dining room by a long, granite-topped counter.
“Do you want a cup of tea?” he asked, already filling the kettle.
“That would be nice, thank you.”
Even she winced at the cool politeness of their conversation. It was as if they were strangers meeting for the first time rather than lovers who had spent hours naked together. Yes, it had only been one night, but it had been the most incredible night of her life. The way he’d touched her, with his hands and his lips and his body, had introduced her to heights of pleasure she’d never imagined.
Even now, the memories of that night made her cheeks flush and her heart pound. Though it took a determined effort, she pushed them aside and forced herself to focus on the here and now.
“You’ve lost weight,” he noted, his gaze skimming over her.
“A few pounds,” she admitted. Actually, she’d been down nine pounds a couple of months earlier, but she’d managed to gain six of them back.
Jesse studied her carefully, noting the bony outline of her shoulders in the oversize sweater she wore over slim-fitting jeans, and guessed that she’d lost more than a few pounds. She was pale, too, and those beautiful brown eyes that had haunted his dreams looked even bigger and darker than he remembered.
The last time they’d spoken on the phone, she’d told him that she’d been feeling unwell, fighting some kind of virus. He’d thought it was just the latest in a long line of excuses for why she’d chosen not to return to Rust Creek Falls. It seemed apparent now that there had been at least some truth in her explanation.
He poured the boiling water into a mug, over a bag of peppermint tea. The day that she’d made him dinner, she’d told him it was her favorite flavor. And, sap that he was, he’d not only remembered but had bought a box so that he’d have it on hand when she came to visit.
The box had sat, unopened, in his cupboard for almost four months. Now, finally, she was going to have a cup—and the other eleven bags would probably sit in the box in his cupboard for another four months before he finally tossed them in the trash.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
She looked up, as if startled by the question.
“You said that you’d been fighting some kind of virus,” he reminded her. “I just wondered if you’ve fully recovered from whatever it was you had.”
She wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “I’m feeling much better, thanks.”
“It must have been quite a bug, to have laid you up for so long,” he commented.
“It wasn’t a bug.” She lifted her gaze to his. “It was—is—a baby.”
Jesse stared at her for a long minute, certain he couldn’t have heard her correctly.
“A baby?” he finally echoed.
She nodded. “I’m pregnant.”
He hated to ask, but he hadn’t seen her since July and he knew he’d be a fool if he didn’t. “Is it...mine?”
He held his breath, waiting for her response, not sure if he wanted it to be yes or no. Not sure how he would feel either way.
She winced at the question. “Yes, it’s yours.”
“I’m sorry,” he said automatically.
“That it’s yours?”
“That I had to ask,” he clarified.
But she shook her head. “I knew you would. If you were one of my clients, I’d insist that you get proof,” she admitted. “And if you want a DNA test, I’ll give it to you, but there isn’t any other possibility. I haven’t been with anyone else in more than two years.”
“You’re pregnant with my child,” he said, as if repeating the words might somehow help them to make sense.
His thoughts were as jumbled as his emotions. Joy warred with panic inside of him as he realized that he was going to be a father—a prospect that was as terrifying as it was exciting.
“I’m not here because I want or expect anything from you,” she explained. “I just thought you should know about the baby.”
Irritation bubbled to the surface. “I don’t know which part of that outrageous statement to deal with first.”
“Excuse me?”
“We made that baby together,” he reminded her. “So you should want and expect plenty.
“As for letting me know—should I thank you for finally, in the fourth month of pregnancy, telling me that you’re going to have my child?”
She winced at the harsh accusation in his tone. “It’s not as if I was deliberately keeping my pregnancy a secret.”
“You were accidentally keeping it a secret?”
“I didn’t know.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t,” she insisted.
“I’m sure you didn’t figure it out yesterday.”
“No,” she admitted. “But for the first few weeks after I returned to LA, I was so busy with work that I thought the fatigue and nausea were symptoms of my erratic schedule and not sleeping well or eating properly. Even when I missed my first period—” her cheeks flushed, as if she was uncomfortable talking about her monthly cycle despite the intimacies they’d shared “—I didn’t think anything of it. I’ve skipped periods before, usually when I’m stressed.”
He scowled but couldn’t dispute her claim. Instead he asked, “So when did you first suspect you might be pregnant?”
“Mid-September. And even then, it was my mother who brought up the possibility. Which I didn’t think was a possibility, because we were careful both times.”
Both times. He didn’t carry condoms in his wallet anymore, and she’d only had two in her makeup case. So they’d done all kinds of things to pleasure one another but they’d only made love twice.
And both times had felt like heaven on earth—the merging of their bodies had been so perfect, so right—
He severed the unwelcome memory.
“So