The feeling was closest, she supposed, to the satisfaction she felt when she figured out a bit more of the culture and history of the cave painters she was writing her dissertation about. It was as if a significant piece of the puzzle fell into place.
She felt like that now.
But this was more. Now she felt a physical satisfaction as well. She hadn’t done much of the sailing today. But she’d done more physical work than she ordinarily did. She was tired, her muscles had been challenged by the unaccustomed exertion. Her skin was a bit sunburned even in spite of the lotion she’d slathered on exposed body parts and the visor she wore. She felt alive, aware. Wonderful.
Free.
She opened her arms and spun around, embracing the whole world in the joy of it.
“That good, is it?” Anny heard Demetrios’s amused voice behind her.
She felt faintly embarrassed by her childish exuberance, but not embarrassed enough to pretend complacency. She turned and smiled at him. “It’s the best day I’ve had in years.”
His brows lifted and he looked at her a long moment, as if he were trying to determine if she was sincere. She met his gaze squarely, unapologetically.
Finally, slowly, a heart-stoppingly gorgeous smile lit his face. “Then that is good,” he said. “I’m glad.”
He was glad he’d brought her along.
It was better than being alone.
All the time he’d been at Cannes, he’d longed for time alone. But he knew that if he’d been here alone, he’d have been restless. He would have sailed happily enough. But he would have spent most of the time in his head thinking about work, about the new screenplay, about the distribution deal he’d just done. He would not have appreciated the moment.
Now he couldn’t help it.
It was hard not to with Anny embracing it every time he looked at her.
And he did look at her. A lot.
From the first day he’d met her, she had stirred something in him that he thought Lissa had killed. Not just his desire for sex—though admittedly Lissa had done a number on him there, too.
But Anny’s whole outlook on life was so different.
Of course it would be, he could hear Lissa scoff in his mind. Princess Adriana had never had the disadvantage of growing up illegitimate in tiny, dusty Reach, North Dakota. Princess Adriana had always had everything her little heart desired. Why shouldn’t she embrace life? It gave her everything she wanted.
Yes, he had known Lissa well enough to know exactly what she would have said about Anny. It was what she said about everyone. No one had ever had things as tough as Lissa. No one had overcome as much, had suffered more.
Admittedly his late wife had overcome her fair share of obstacles. But some of them, Demetrios knew, were of her own making. Some of them were the product of the chip on her shoulder she could never quite shake off.
“Why should I?” she’d said to him once. “It’s made me who I am.”
For better or worse, yes, it had. And what he knew above all was that it had never made her happy. She’d never felt joy like Anny had expressed tonight. She’d never opened her arms and embraced life.
“You’re very pensive,” Anny said to him now.
They were eating dinner on deck. She’d brought their salads, meat and cheese up to the cockpit because, as she’d said, “Why be down below when it’s so glorious up here?”
They’d enjoyed the sunset while they’d eaten, and his mind had drifted back to the miserable nights he’d spent sailing to Cabo with Lissa, and how different it had been from this.
“Is something wrong?” Anny asked him. “They don’t look like good thoughts.”
He flexed his shoulders. “Just thinking how much better this is than the last time I went sailing.”
“I thought you went with your brother and Franck,” she said, frowning.
“I meant the last time I went a few years ago.” But he smiled as he remembered the very last time. “When we went with Franck it was good.”
“He thought so,” she agreed. “I wish he could do more of it. Mostly he won’t leave his room.” She paused thoughtfully. “It’s easier not to, I think.”
“Yes.” It was definitely easier not to risk. Safer, as well not to want what you couldn’t have.
Demetrios drained his beer and stood up. “You cooked. I’ll clean up.”
“You worked hard all day,” Anny said, standing, too. “I’ll help.” And carrying her plate, she followed him down into the galley.
She was no help. Not to his peace of mind, anyway. Oh, she washed plates and put away food. But the galley was small—too small for them not to bump into each other. Too small for him to avoid the whiff of flowery shampoo, the occasional brush of her hair as she dodged past him to get to the refrigerator, and—once—the outright collision that brought his chest and her breasts firmly against each other.
He remembered her softness. Wanted to feel it again.
The more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to spend. And, let’s face it, the closer he wanted to spend it. He wanted to touch her fresh, soft skin. He wanted to thread his fingers through her hair. Wanted to carry her off to his bunk and know her even more thoroughly than he’d known her the one time he’d made love with her.
But it wasn’t going to happen.
She’d said so. Had explained why. He understood. He just wished his hormones did.
He stepped back out of the galley and said abruptly, “Not going to work.”
Anny blinked at him. “What’s not?”
“This.” He jerked his head toward her in the galley. “You can clean up or I will. Not both of us.”
“But—”
If she were Lissa, all this brushing and bumping would have been a deliberate tease. Not with Anny. Now he just looked at her and waited for the penny to drop.
He could tell the moment that it did. Instead of looking at him coquettishly and giving him an impish smile as Lissa would have done, Anny looked mortified.
“You think I—” Her face flamed. She shook her head. “I never—! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—Oh God!”
“It’s all right,” he said. “I can control myself. But I’d rather do the cleaning up myself.”
Her cheeks were still bright red. “Of course,” she mumbled, and she practically bolted up the companionway steps without a backward glance.
Demetrios watched her go. It was a tempting view.
He didn’t need the temptation, God knew, but there were some things a man simply couldn’t resist.
As the days went on it wasn’t only the physical Anny that Demetrios found hard to resist. She was as appealing as ever physically.
But it was something more that attracted him. She was cheerful, bright, thoughtful, fun. And he never knew what she was going to do next.
One afternoon she decided she’d fish for their dinner. He scoffed at the notion. “You fish?”
“What? You think princesses can’t fish?”
“Not in my experience.”