“It depends on the question and whether or not I know the answer,” she said, looking a little apprehensive.
“Why do you go by your initials at work, instead of your given name?” He’d wanted to know the answer since reviewing her personnel file. “It’s very pretty.” Like you.
She shrugged one slender shoulder. “That’s what my father always called me. I think it was his way of pretending I was the son he always wanted, but never had.”
Reaching out, Caleb traced his index finger along her porcelain cheek. No matter what kind of hell he’d have to go through, he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. “I’m sure he loves you more than you realize, sweetheart.”
She remained silent for several long moments before nodding. “I suppose it was possible that he cared for me, but it’s something I’ll never know. He died on a mission in the Middle East during my junior year in college.”
Caleb felt like a complete jerk for bringing up an obviously painful subject. Without thinking twice, he lifted her onto his lap and did his best to ignore how her shapely bottom felt pressed to his rapidly hardening body.
She stared at him for several long seconds. “Caleb, this isn’t a good idea.”
“Hush.” Cradling her to his chest, he held her close as the water bubbled around them. He tried to tell himself that he was offering her comfort, but the truth was she felt so right in his arms, he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. “I’m sorry, Alyssa. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s all right.” He felt her begin to relax against him. “I’ve never had any illusions about it. My father and I didn’t have a great relationship.”
He kissed her temple. “What about your mom? Are you close to her?”
“Mother passed away when I was eight.” She sighed. “That’s when I started attending school at the Marsden Academy for Girls.”
“Your dad sent you to a boarding school?” Anger burned at his gut. How could Merrick have done that to his only child? Caleb could only imagine how lonely and scared she must have been. At that moment, he despised the man for abandoning her when she’d obviously needed him most.
“Actually, Dad didn’t have a lot of choice about sending me to Marsden,” she said softly. “He was a navy SEAL and never knew when his team would be called out on a mission.”
“Couldn’t you have stayed with a relative?”
He wondered why her grandparents hadn’t stepped forward to take her in. There was no way in hell his grandparents would have ever turned their grandchild away. They’d stood by his mother when she’d found herself pregnant and alone, and had helped her raise him, even though it hadn’t been as socially acceptable then as it was now for a single woman to have a child.
Alyssa shook her head. “I’ve never even met my grandparents. My dad was raised in the foster-care system and my maternal grandparents didn’t think he was good enough for their only child. When my mom eloped with him on graduation night, her parents more or less disowned her.”
Alyssa had no idea why she was telling Caleb about her family or, more accurately, her lack of one. Normally, she didn’t share any details about herself with anyone. But he was easy to talk to and his compassion made her feel at ease and free to discuss it for the first time in years.
“What about you?” she asked, enjoying the feel of his wide bare chest against her arm. “What was your childhood like?”
“It was pretty average,” he said, shrugging. “I grew up on a farm in central Tennessee—”
“If you hadn’t told me before that you were from the South, I’d have never known,” she said dryly.
He chuckled. “You can take the boy out of the South, but you can’t take the Southern accent out of the boy.”
“Something like that,” she said, laughing. Wanting to hear more about his childhood, she asked, “What was it like growing up on a farm?”
“I guess it was pretty much like growing up anywhere else,” he said, thoughtfully. “I did most of the things other kids my age did—played Little League baseball, helped Grandpa around the farm and went skinny-dipping in the creek every chance I got.” His mischievous grin curled her toes. “Still do.”
Her insides fluttered. “You swim in the nude?”
He nodded. “I don’t even own a pair of swim trunks. The only reason I’m wearing gym shorts now is to protect your tender sensibilities.”
She suddenly felt a warmth course through her that had nothing to do with being in the hot tub. “I’ve never gone swimming without a suit.”
His grin caused her to feel as if the water temperature rose a good ten degrees. “You should give it a try sometime.”
She’d never been good at sexy banter and, unable to think of a suitable comeback, she asked, “Where did you go to school?”
His muscles tensed slightly before he answered. “No private academies for me. I went to public schools.”
“University, too?”
“There’s no other team like the University of Tennessee Vols.”
“Vols?”
“Short for Volunteers,” he said, smiling. He pulled her closer. “But I don’t want to discuss schools or sports teams right now.” He brushed his lips over hers as he slid his finger under one of the straps of her swimsuit. “Do you have any idea how great you look in this little black number?”
She’d purposely ignored the fact that she was still sitting on his lap, but suddenly several things became quite apparent. They were alone in the semidarkness; their water-slick bodies were pressed together and his muscular thighs under her bottom weren’t the only things that were hard.
Her eyes widened and a breathtaking charge of need filled every cell in her being. “I think… I’ll move over to the seat.”
“I like you right where you are.” With one arm around her waist, he held her in place as he slid his hand from her shoulder down her upper arm, taking her swimsuit strap with him. “Your skin feels like silk, Alyssa.”
Desire so hot she felt scorched by its intensity washed over her and, closing her eyes, she sighed. “This is insanity.”
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his voice so low and intimate it caused goose bumps to shimmer over her skin.
God help her, but she didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him to kiss and hold her. She wanted to feel his strong hands caressing her body. And if she was really honest with herself, that’s what she’d wanted since their trip to Roswell.
She shook her head as she opened her eyes to meet his questioning gaze. “That’s what’s insane. I don’t want you to stop. I should. But I don’t. And that’s what’s so confusing. I’ve never been the type of person to throw caution to the wind.” A shiver streaked up her spine when he cupped her cheek with his palm and she had to take in some much-needed air before she could finish. “But being with you, I find that I don’t want to analyze every move I make. I don’t want to be sensible. And living for the moment suddenly sounds so very tempting.”
“It’s up to you, Alyssa. All you have to do is tell me what you want and I promise to respect your wishes.” He smiled. “But if it’s left up to me, I’ll take this suit off of you and show you just what temptation is all about.”
His sexy drawl made her insides hum and all of her secret places pulse with a hunger stronger than any-thing she’d ever experienced.