* * *
Nicolette wished Fatima were not here, hanging on to every word. ‘‘Do you mean as in programs?’’ she asked, thinking about all the causes near and dear to her family’s heart back in Melio.
‘‘Programs, issues, activities. I’m just curious to know what you’d care about as queen. How you’d spend your time and energy here.’’
Nic had her causes, too, and since discovering the extent of Chantal’s misery in La Croix, Nicolette had taken it upon herself to set up women’s centers on each of the islands in Melio where women could ask questions, request help, even seek refuge.
She’d do the same thing here, too. She’d want to do something for women. It’d stunned her that Chantal had been physically abused, but now that Nicolette’s eyes were opened, she was determined to reach as many women as she could. If Chantal had suffered in such silence, God only knows the number of women in need. The number of women not helped.
‘‘I’d like to help women,’’ Nicolette answered evenly, knowing that Malik was now aware of Chantal’s wretched life in La Croix. ‘‘I have the name, the visibility, and the connections—all I lack is the means.’’
‘‘Which you won’t lack as Queen of Baraka.’’
Nic thought of the women living in Baraka who might be in desperate need of a helping hand. If she as Queen couldn’t make a change for the better, then who could?
But you won’t be queen, she reminded herself. This is just a game…
But it didn’t feel like a game anymore. Not at all.
She slowly peeled off her long pale green evening gloves. Everything about her life here felt real. Her emotions, her hopes, her worries.
‘‘How would you begin?’’ Malik persisted, apparently genuinely interested in wanting to hear more.
‘‘Education.’’ Nic lay the satin gloves on top of her small beaded purse. Chantal would never support this issue though. Chantal couldn’t fight for herself, much less anyone else. ‘‘I’d want to improve education for girls—’’
‘‘Our education here is excellent,’’ Fatima interrupted. ‘‘Girls are treated very well in Baraka. The majority attend school.’’
‘‘Yes, you did, Fatima,’’ Nicolette answered gently. ‘‘You hold a college degree, and your parents supported your educational pursuit, but that’s not the norm for poorer families, is it?’’ Nic didn’t wait for Fatima to answer. ‘‘If I were queen, I’d like to see all children in school until seventeen, and I’d want to encourage girls to continue to college and vocational programs so that every girl has a choice in life, opportunity—’’
Fatima snapped her fingers. ‘‘They have a choice. They can choose marriage, they aren’t married against their will. Parents and matchmakers consult daughters here. We are not barbaric like some countries. And a wife and mother is always loved.’’
As if saying yes or no to an arranged spouse was freedom of choice!
Nic said nothing for a long moment then shook her head. ‘‘There are many ways of being loved. Women should at least have the option to choose how they are loved, and that includes choosing career or home. Women shouldn’t be home because they have no other choice, but because it’s the place they choose to be. The path they seek.’’
‘‘And you, Princess Chantal,’’ Malik interjected kindly, diffusing some of the tension, ‘‘are you doing what you want to be? Have you found your path?’’
Nicolette met his gaze in the shadows of the car. Ah, tricky question. Had she found her path?
No.
Had she ever tried to find her path before?
No.
Why?
‘‘I think I’m still searching,’’ she said after a moment, feeling foolish, aware of Fatima’s seething animosity.
‘‘So what are you searching for?’’ His question was maddeningly simple.
Nic flashed back to the palace in Melio, her elderly grandparents, her sisters gathered in her bedroom, all of them sprawled on her bed talking about the future, what needed to be done for the future of their country. ‘‘Me,’’ she whispered.
Fatima snorted in disgust. ‘‘Typical Western answer,’’ she muttered, turning her head away, staring pointedly out the car window.
Heat burned through Nic, a blush flooding her face. Me, she silently mocked herself. Me, had been such a self-absorbed an swer. A childish concept.
Searching for oneself.
Trying to find oneself.
‘‘We’re all called to search for the truth,’’ Malik said, and she looked up to find that his expression had gentled, and there was compassion in his cool silver gaze. ‘‘Without self-knowledge, we are nothing. If we do not know ourselves, we can not love ourselves, or anyone else for that matter.’’
Nic’s eyes suddenly watered. She bent her head, focused on the pair of pale green gloves draped across her small evening purse, telling herself that no matter what, she couldn’t, wouldn’t, cry in front of Fatima. ‘‘Thank you.’’
Arriving back at the palace, Malik didn’t have to walk Nicolette back to her rooms, but he insisted, and she was glad. Well, sort of glad. Her heart felt very heavy at the moment and things she thought she could do, things she thought she could ignore, weren’t quite so cut and dry anymore.
She was deceiving a man she greatly admired.
The quiet of the palace, and the spots of moonlight shimmering on the marble floor wrapped around Nicolette, making her feel truly lonely for the first time since she arrived.
‘‘Do you ever wonder if perhaps you have the wrong sister?’’ she asked softly, her voice barely audible.
Malik glanced down at her, his expression one of concern. ‘‘Do you think I have the wrong sister?’’
‘‘I just wonder if perhaps I’m not really the one you want…’’
His brow furrowed. ‘‘In terms of outlook? Attitude?’’
Her shoulders lifted, fell, the silk of her gown sliding across her skin. ‘‘I don’t know. Maybe I’m confused why you picked me. Why not one of the others?’’
They’d reached her suite of rooms and stood outside her door. ‘‘I suppose I could have proposed to Joelle instead,’’ he said, rubbing his jaw.
‘‘Joelle?’’ Why Joelle? She’s barely an adult. ‘‘She’s too young for you.’’
‘‘Perhaps you’re too old for me.’’
Nic felt her cheeks burn. ‘‘You’re at least ten years older than me, King Nuri.’’
‘‘But let’s be honest, Chantal, shall we? I’m excited about marriage and the possibility of having a family. You, forgive me, seem so blase´ about it all. I would rather have a young bride eager to experience marriage and motherhood than a wife that dreads matrimony.’’
‘‘Yet there are three Ducasse princesses. You haven’t mentioned Nicolette.’’
He waved a hand, brushing aside the suggestion. ‘‘She was never an option.’’
‘‘Why not?’’
Another impatient gesture. ‘‘She’s not suitable—’’
‘‘Why