To her left she spotted Joe, sitting on the retaining wall that separated the garden bed from the ambulance bay. Victoria was standing in front of him, partially obscuring Kitty’s view, but she only needed a glimpse to know it was him. Kitty tried to ignore the feelings of jealousy that swamped her. She hated feeling jealous, but she hated seeing Joe with Victoria even more. She was still blaming her hormones even though she knew it was really about the almost-kiss. She was having trouble forgetting that.
She’d been an idiot. She’d nearly ruined their friendship. Of course he’d hesitated. She’d crossed their boundaries. She was relieved that he didn’t seem to be holding her faux pas against her, but she couldn’t forget it and she couldn’t deny that she wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him properly. She’d been dreaming about it. All her searching on the internet had reinforced the idea that her hormones were running wild in this trimester but she couldn’t help but think it was more than that. She couldn’t get the idea out of her head. She wasn’t having fantasies about any other men. Just Joe.
She contemplated going back into the hospital but she really wanted some fresh air. She bit into her apple as she turned right, away from Joe. She didn’t think he’d seen her and she certainly didn’t want to see the two of them together. It made her feel lonely and diminished her happiness. Jess had Cam and Joe had Victoria, but she had no one.
As if to cheer her up, the baby somersaulted in her womb. She was active tonight, Kitty thought as she put her hand on her stomach. She wasn’t alone, not right now, but even the baby was only hers temporarily. This pregnancy was of her choosing, it was what she wanted, but she knew that, ultimately, she wanted to be part of a couple. She wanted to be loved. She wanted a family of her own one day. But for now she needed to focus on the pregnancy and hope that her time would come.
She finished her sandwich and wrapped the apple core in the left-over packaging, then with one final glance in Joe’s direction she went back into the hospital. She threw her rubbish in a bin at the triage desk and went to wash her hands, glancing around the waiting area as she dried them. The ED waiting area was empty, the ED quiet; Lisa was the only staff member Kitty could see, which meant that all the other staff were busy in treatment rooms or were taking their breaks. Kitty was walking towards the desk when the entrance doors slid open, admitting a very thin, dishevelled man in a pair of dirty jeans and a grubby T-shirt. Scabs covered his forearms and he was scratching at them agitatedly. He scanned the department as he entered. His eyes were wide, his pupils dilated, and his movements were jerky and frantic. Kitty recognised that look. The familiar look of a methamphetamine user.
His gaze landed on Kitty and he started yelling as he advanced towards her in an unnatural, nervous gait.
‘Help me! They’re tracking me, they’re going to kill me!’ His scratching gathered intensity and he had picked off several scabs. His arms were now bleeding.
Kitty was stranded on the wrong side of the desk. The desk was separated from the waiting area by a glass window and access to it was via a pair of doors that needed a security code to open. The desk resembled a bank counter. Lisa was the teller, safely barricaded behind the glass, but Kitty was exposed and vulnerable. She wanted to seek refuge but she was afraid to move, worried that any movement might trigger a reaction in this man. A reaction she wasn’t at all keen to witness.
She reached slowly into the pocket of her scrubs and retrieved a pair of surgical gloves, pulling them on carefully as she glanced at Lisa, knowing they needed back-up and knowing Lisa would push the button to call for help.
She reached out a hand, silently begging him to stop, praying that back-up would arrive before he got to her. ‘It’s all right, no one is going to hurt you here. You’re safe.’
He continued to look around but he stopped walking. He’d stopped almost level with the door that Kitty could have escaped through. If he took one more step in her direction he would effectively block her access to safety.
Kitty had to risk it. She knew Lisa could push another button that would open the door and let her in, once Kitty got close enough. She looked at her. Lisa nodded and moved towards the button as Kitty moved towards the door. Towards the man.
‘Stay away from me!’
Kitty froze. He’d taken her movement as a threat.
She raised her hands, intending to convey she meant him no harm. Her heart was in her mouth and she could feel every beat echoing through her body. Adrenalin coursed through her, triggering her fight or flight response. She wanted to flee but there was nowhere to go. This man was blocking her escape route, and the only thing between him and her was her pregnant belly.
She couldn’t risk it. She had to get out of there. She was terrified, afraid to turn her back, but she had no other option. She was trapped. She couldn’t go forward. She could only go back.
Kitty slid back a step, but he took another lurch forward.
‘What are you doing?’ he yelled at her.
She hesitated. She didn’t want to upset him. He was drug fuelled, erratic and unpredictable. Who knew what he was capable of?
Kitty took her eyes off him momentarily, searching to see if help was coming in any form. Surely minutes must have passed since Lisa had pressed the alarm? Where was everyone?
He was watching her. ‘Who’s there? Is it them?’ He turned his head to look over his shoulder and Kitty took another step backwards but she wasn’t fast enough. He had turned back to face her, catching her movement.
He advanced towards her, reaching behind his back as he walked. Kitty froze. She was terrified.
He brought his hand forward and Kitty’s eyes went wide. He was holding a large knife. Light reflected off the blade, glinting ominously.
Kitty couldn’t move. She was so frightened she’d lost voluntary control of her limbs, her muscles stiff and unresponsive.
He lunged at her, and Kitty was surprised by the speed of his movement and the power of his skinny body. She felt a blow to her chest that was hard enough to knock the wind from her lungs. She felt herself falling, and the last thing she remembered was the shine of the overhead fluorescent lights reflecting off the blade of his knife.
JOE HAD SEEN Kitty come out of the hospital. Out of the corner of his eye he’d seen her glance his way as he sat with Victoria, and seen her choose not to come and say hello. Things between them had been a little strained for the past few weeks. If he’d had to put a time frame to when it had started he would pick the night at the pub. The night he’d almost kissed her.
Not that she’d said anything. Nothing had been said about it by either of them, and he had to assume he was the only one dwelling on it. That he was the only one who considered it a missed opportunity. He wasn’t sure that Kitty had even realised what he’d been so tempted to do. For all he knew, she had been, and still was, oblivious to the whole episode—but it didn’t explain how she was behaving.
He’d thought that things might be back to normal when she’d invited him to her birthday dinner but there was still tension between them. He could feel it. And she was definitely avoiding him. She’d made excuses about why she couldn’t catch up with him. She’d blamed the pregnancy—she was tired or had appointments—but he wasn’t convinced that was the sole reason. He wasn’t certain it was to do with the almost-kiss but something wasn’t right.
Maybe he should have kissed her. Maybe that would have brought things to a head and sorted it out once and for all. God knew, he’d spent far too long thinking about the missed opportunity, and he’d thought the best way to get her out of his head was to date someone else but even that wasn’t working.
He wished she’d never mentioned wanting sex. He wished she wasn’t