‘Which is why this break is all the more important,’ Hannah said soothingly. She placed her hand on his arm. ‘We’ll make sure Ben enjoys himself, darling. A few days R & R and he’ll be right as rain.’
‘Of course he will.’ Tom dropped a kiss on her nose then turned to Emily. ‘How do you fancy helping us make Ben’s visit that bit more special? We’re planning a barbecue tomorrow night if the weather holds, so how about you and Theo coming along? I’m sure Ben would love to see you again and meet Theo, of course.’
Emily shook her head, feeling sick at the thought of her turning up with Theo in tow. If Ben hadn’t wanted to acknowledge his son in private then he certainly wouldn’t wish to do so in front of his friends. ‘I’m afraid I have something planned tomorrow. Sorry.’
‘Shame. If I’m not mistaken you two got on really well, didn’t you?’ Tom glanced at Hannah. ‘Now that I think about it, I remember Ros saying that Emily and Ben seemed to have a real connection.’ He laughed. ‘I rather think Ros hoped it would turn into something more!’
Emily dredged up a smile when Hannah laughed but it was all she could do not to let her friends see how much it hurt to hear that. She, too, had thought she and Ben had connected on a deeper level but she’d been wrong. All of a sudden she couldn’t take any more and swung round, wanting to get away before she said something stupid. Nobody must know about her affair with Ben. Nobody must know that he was Theo’s father either. It would only complicate matters and, worse still, start people talking. The last thing she needed was Theo overhearing some chance remark and getting upset.
‘Emily, hold on.’
She stopped reluctantly when Tom called her back. ‘Yes?’
‘What did you want me for? You never said.’
‘Oh. Do you know I’ve completely forgotten.’ She gave a short laugh, doing her best to pretend that everything was fine even though it was far from being that. ‘It can’t have been anything important, can it?’
‘Well, if you do remember then give me a call.’ Tom put his arm round Hannah’s shoulders and ushered her towards the door. ‘Now we had better go and make Ben welcome. I think an afternoon lazing in the garden is called for, don’t you?’
‘Sounds like heaven,’ Hannah assured him. She paused to glance back and Emily could see the gleam in her eyes. ‘If you do change your mind about tomorrow night then you’ll be very welcome, Emily. I’m sure Ben would love to see you.’
‘Er… thank you, but as I said I’ve made other plans.’
Emily managed to hold her smile until they disappeared. She sighed. Tom and Hannah meant well but they had no idea of the problems they were creating by trying to push her and Ben together. Ben wasn’t interested in her; he never had been. She’d been merely a convenience, someone to sleep with and discard once she’d outlived her usefulness. Although neither of them had allowed for the fact that she might get pregnant, it hadn’t made any difference to Ben’s plans.
She took a deep breath and made herself face the truth as she had faced it many times in the past few years. Ben had never wanted her. And he didn’t want their son either.
CHAPTER TWO
‘I HOPE it’s all right. I’m afraid the room is rather small but the bed should be comfortable enough.’
‘It’s lovely. Thank you.’
Ben dredged up a smile, doing his best to behave like the perfect guest as he looked around the tiny attic room, but it was an effort. Had Emily recognised him this morning? He thought she had but in that case why hadn’t she stopped? Why had she driven past without making any attempt to acknowledge him? Did she hate him so much that she couldn’t even bear to speak to him?
The thought was more upsetting than it should have been, bearing in mind the way she had tried to trick him. Ben thrust it to the back of his mind as he turned to his hosts. Tom and Hannah had welcomed him with open arms and he should be content with that instead of wasting his time thinking about Emily. ‘I’m sure I shall be very comfortable. I just can’t help feeling guilty about putting you to so much trouble, though.’
‘It’s no trouble,’ Hannah assured him and laughed. ‘To be honest you’ve done me a favour. I’ve been nagging Tom to clear out the attic for ages but he only got round to doing it when he knew you were coming to stay!’
Ben laughed. ‘It’s good to know that I’m useful for something.’
‘Oh, you are!’ Tom clapped him on the shoulder. ‘If it weren’t for your visit then I doubt if Simon would have agreed to cancel evening surgery. The surveyors are coming this afternoon to start on the plans for the new health centre and he insisted that we’d be able to work round them. It was only when we mentioned that you were coming to stay that he had second thoughts.’ Tom grinned as he swung little Charlie into his arms. ‘It’s thanks to you that we have the rest of the day off, my friend, and we’re truly grateful. Now we shall leave you to settle in. We’ll be in the garden so come and find us when you’re ready.’
Ben tossed his bag onto the bed after his friends left. Walking over to the window, he stared across the rooftops towards the bay. There were a number of boats tied up in the harbour, mostly fishing vessels although there were several pleasure craft too. The scene was so familiar that for a moment he was transported back to when he had first visited Bride’s Bay. He had been too ill at first to appreciate the beauty of the small Devonshire coastal town; however, as his health had improved, he’d found himself increasingly drawn to the area. There was a raw beauty about the ever-changing vista of sea and sky that had touched something inside him… just as Emily had touched him.
Ben’s mouth compressed. Whatever he’d thought he and Emily had had was an illusion. She’d had her own reasons for being with him and they’d had nothing to do with love. His blood ran cold even now at the thought of how he might have been duped. If he hadn’t known he was infertile, he would have accepted the child as his own, brought him up, loved and cared for him, and unwittingly perpetuated her lie. Maybe she’d been desperate; he didn’t know. But he could never forgive her for what she had tried to do. After all, it wasn’t only him who would have lived her lie but her son, too. The boy would have grown up believing that Ben was his real father and that seemed like the worst kind of deception, to deny the child his true heritage.
Anger roared through him and he turned away from the view with a muffled curse. Leaving his bag on the bed he made his way downstairs. He would unpack later but right now he needed a distraction, pleasant company to take his mind off less pleasant matters. He went out into the garden, pushing thoughts of Emily and her deceitfulness from his mind. He wasn’t going to waste the weekend by going over old ground. Maybe he had been a fool to come here but he wouldn’t allow what had happened to rule his life. Tom was his closest friend and he didn’t intend to let their friendship lapse. Maybe Emily did hate him, but so what? He couldn’t have accepted the child as his own when he knew the truth.
Emily tiptoed out of the bedroom. It was just gone seven p.m. and for once Theo had fallen asleep without the usual tussle. Normally it took a while to settle him but he’d been worn out after an afternoon playing on the beach. Now the evening stretched before her and she sighed. It was this time when she felt most alone. It was fine during the day; she was too busy working or looking after Theo to think about anything else. But once Theo was in bed, she was very aware of being on her own. How wonderful it would be if there was someone to share these hours.
Unbidden, a face sprang to mind and her mouth thinned. There had never been any question of Ben sharing her life, as he had made clear. Although she may have viewed their affair as the start of something, Ben hadn’t seen it that way. One mention of a baby and he had run for the hills and she, for one, wasn’t going to try and change his mind. Benedict Legrange had had his chance to be a father and he wasn’t going to get a second one!
The