‘She is. I need to go and stay with her and, with Neil going overseas for work, I can’t leave the children. I know it’s not long until the holidays, but it can’t wait. A person can only endure so much before they buckle under the weight of things. A person’s life shouldn’t feel like it’s over before they’re thirty, right? It shouldn’t be impossible for a person to ask their family to help them correct a mistake.’ Words spoken from the heart, they could be interpreted by the listener in myriad ways.
The springs in Mrs Wilson’s chair creaked as she shifted around, and Kiki risked a quick glance up through her lashes. The older woman rested her arms on the blotter in front of her and folded her fingers together. ‘No, my dear. Family should come first, above all things. If you need to join your sister, then I’m sure we can reach some accommodation with Matthew’s schooling. We try to wind the children down over the last couple of weeks before the holidays. I’ll consult his teacher and we’ll forward you anything he needs to catch up on.’
Kiki swallowed around the lump in her throat. ‘Thank you, Mrs Wilson. I’d wait if I could, but I’ve almost left it too long as it is.’ Another truth. If she didn’t stand up for herself now, she never would. The children deserved better. What example was she setting to them, and what legacy would they inherit, if she continued to mimic her own parents and remain in a failed relationship?
‘Can we expect to see Matthew back for the new term?’
No. ‘I’m not in a position to confirm that. It depends how things go over the next few weeks. I’ll notify you as soon as I can.’ Even that prevarication tasted bitter on her tongue.
The glint in Mrs Wilson’s eye said she’d caught it, but her tone remained as mild as her words. ‘You just let me know when you know. If you need recommendations for schools in the area, don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll make some enquiries.’ She leaned further across the table, brows drawn together, no sign of the sweet, soft lady in her sharp eyes. ‘A change of scenery might be just what Matthew needs, he’s been quite withdrawn lately.’
Guilt wrenched Kiki’s insides. It shouldn’t have taken the shattering of her own dreams to spur her into action. She should have been braver, acted sooner. Matty and Charlie needed her to protect them and, so far, she’d done a terrible job of it. No more. She sat up straight. ‘I think it’s going to be exactly what we all need.’
***
Neil stepped out of their bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He played squash several times a week during his lunchbreak and had retained the same attractive physique she’d once marvelled over. He paused at the sight of his clothes laid out across the bed, the steaming cup of coffee waiting on his bedside cabinet. Kiki bit the inside of her cheek to keep a bitter smile at bay. In shattering her to pieces, Neil had finally achieved the perfect wife. She’d not set a foot wrong in the past two weeks, anticipating his every need before he’d even thought about it. ‘I’ve double-checked with the taxi company; your car will be here in half an hour.’
‘Good.’ He let the towel drop and began to dress. The wet tangle on the carpet taunted her, and Kiki forced herself to turn away, knowing if he glanced her way he would see the hatred seething inside her. The perfect wife would scuttle forward, pick it up and hang it back in the bathroom. The perfect wife wouldn’t imagine grabbing the cup of coffee and dashing the scalding contents into his eyes.
She’d never be perfect, it seemed. ‘Do you want anything to eat?’
Neil glanced up from the act of knotting his tie. ‘What? No. I’ll get something at the airport once I’m through security.’
Washed down with champagne, probably. He’d never spared his wallet when he’d been wooing her. No doubt the new Helen would receive the same treatment. A better person would warn the foolish girl, would contact the university and report Neil for exploiting a position of trust. Kiki had considered it, but at the end of the day, a roaring mouse was still just a mouse. A better person would confront her husband, tell him the truth and walk away with her head held high. She’d scuttle away once the coast was clear and count herself lucky for it.
She watched him turn left and right, checking the hang of his jacket. A piece of fluff clung to one shoulder and she stepped forward to remove it. Their eyes met in the mirror and she searched for one hint of the man she’d thought to spend the rest of her life with. His even, handsome features were as familiar to her as her own, and yet she knew nothing about the person beneath the flesh. How was it possible? How could she have devoted the past nine years to a stranger? Unbidden, her fingers traced the top of his shoulder, seeking proof there had once been a connection between the two of them. A frown creased his brow and he shrugged off her hand. ‘Don’t fuss, Kiki. I hate it when you fuss.’
Don’t fuss. How many times had he said that to her? About as many times as he’d accused her of neglecting him. No matter what she did, she’d always be on the wrong side of him. She folded her fingers into a fist and pressed it into the top of her thigh. ‘I’ll wake the children and we’ll see you downstairs when you’re ready.’
‘Let them sleep. I can’t be doing with them whining around me.’
The perfect-wife mask slipped a little. ‘You’re going to be away for three months, Neil. I thought you might want to say goodbye to them.’
‘Christ, Kiki. I can do without a fucking guilt trip. What do you want me to do, give up the opportunity I’ve waited my whole career for?’ He took a step towards her and she shrank back, an instinctive response intended to defuse the situation, but it only served to stoke his temper. ‘I’ve licked your father’s boots for years to get this grant, given you everything you needed even after you hung the weight of a family around my neck, but you can’t let me enjoy one thing that isn’t about you. You stupid, selfish bitch—’ The beep of a car horn outside cut him off, the promised taxi having arrived early.
Neil straightened up, ran a hand over his hair to smooth it back into place and rolled his shoulders. He snatched his wallet and keys from beside the bed and stuffed them into his pockets. ‘Great job, Kiki. All I wanted was a calm, quiet departure and you couldn’t even give me that.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He’d already shouldered his way out of the door, but the words weren’t meant for him. They were for herself, for the idealistic girl who’d deserved a man who loved her. For her children, who meant everything to her and yet so little to him. For Mia, whose love and support she’d almost thrown away.
The front door slammed and quiet voices drifted from the street below her window. Checking her watch, Kiki gave the departing taxi five minutes in case Neil had forgotten anything in his haste to leave. Satisfied he was gone, she crouched beside the bed and dragged out her own already-packed case. Her self-imposed timetable gave her two hours to finish loading the car, get the kids up and ready and their journey started. She wanted to be on the motorway the moment the rush-hour traffic eased.
She left Matty to supervise Charlie’s breakfast while she ensconced herself in Neil’s study. They didn’t know what was happening beyond the fact there would be no school today. She hadn’t wanted to get their hopes up until she knew for sure what the next step would be. Her hand clenched around her mobile, hard enough for the corners to dig into her palm. By rights, the call she was about to make should have been made two weeks ago, but she hadn’t dared. Escaping to Mia had been her only plan, and belief there was a place for them in Butterfly Cove the only thing that kept her moving forward.
Whispering a silent prayer, she scrolled through her favourites and tapped on her sister’s name. It was early to be calling, but she hoped Mia would be up. The ringtone echoed in her ear just long enough for the nerves to start dancing in her stomach, and then a deep voice answered. ‘Butterfly House, hello?’
Kiki