He was so close Mikki could feel the words as much as hear them, and the distance closed as he spoke so that by the time he spoke the last word it simply morphed into a kiss. The talking finished but his lips kept moving on top of hers. Gently. And then more firmly.
It was a conversation all of its own with all the nuances that speech could contain with the tiny variations of pressure and position. Despite the deafening level of sound desire was trying to make, Mikki could ‘hear’ the underlying communication.
I like you. I’m interested.
Me, too.
I like this. Do you?
Yes. Oh … yes!
The kiss went on. And on. Desire was tightly reined in, which made it possible for this conversation to seem relaxed. A pleasure in itself that was not necessarily leading to anything else.
As naturally as the verbal communication had become non-verbal, the process was reversed.
‘Nice,’ Tama murmured as he drew back slowly. ‘Very nice.’
‘Mmm.’ Mikki ran her tongue over her lower lip. It still tingled. It still tasted of Tama. ‘Nice’ was far too pale a word.
‘You’re still safe,’ Tama told her. ‘I don’t do relationships.’
‘Oh?’ The statement should have been reassuring. Where did that frisson of disappointment come from? ‘No.’ The affirmation was definite. ‘How old are you?’
‘Thirty-six.’
‘And you’ve never had a relationship?’
‘Define “relationship”.’
‘Urn …’ Mikki had to think. ‘If you see someone more than a couple of times it becomes a relationship because you have the expectation of seeing them again. You want to see them again.’
‘Does it involve sex?’
‘At some point, if it’s an adult relationship, then sex is involved. That’s what makes it a relationship rather than just a friendship.’
‘OK. In that case, I take it back. I’ve had heaps of relationships.’
‘If you go into it knowing that it’s short term, it’s not a real relationship,’ Mikki continued as she thought aloud. ‘It becomes real when you start caring about that person. When you have the expectation that it’s going to continue and lead to something else.’
‘Like marriage and mortgages?’
‘I guess.’
‘Then no. I was right. I’ve never had a real relationship and I don’t intend to. Any hint that a woman wants that stuff and I’m outta there. Not my scene. How ‘bout you?’
‘It’s not something I can see in my immediate future,’ Mikki said confidently. ‘But I wouldn’t say “never”. Maybe, one day, when I meet the right person, I’ll change my mind.’
‘Really?’
‘Sure. Why not?’
‘Because you’ve seen what it can do to someone.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You said it nearly destroyed your father when your mother died. He must have loved her very much. They must have had the best kind of relationship.’
‘They did. And, yes, he adored her.’
‘And it was nearly the end of the world for him when he lost her. It must have been unbearable. I’ve seen that happen, too. Why put yourself at risk like that?’
‘Because …’ Mikki was getting an insight into herself through Tama that she’d never considered. Was she the same? Had she run from any relationship that looked like it was getting serious because she didn’t want to risk the fallout if things went wrong? ‘It must be worth it. It’s that “better to have loved and lost” theory.’
‘I don’t buy into it,’ Tama said dismissively. ‘There’s other good stuff to be found in life. Like this …’
He was kissing her again. And this time it felt even more natural than the first time. His taste was familiar and … wonderful. His warmth seeped into every cell in Mikki’s body and the movement of his lips sent impulses that brought her whole body alive. Made it tingle with energy and contentment and desire all at the same time.
And then his tongue touched hers and Mikki lost any ability to analyse how she felt. The world had already been banished to this tiny space and now her awareness shrank much further. She just existed in that point of contact between herself and Tama. A white-hot flame that flickered and grew and consumed everything else. Including oxygen. Mikki finally had to pull back to drag in a breath of air. ‘This isn’t good.’
‘What?’ Tama sounded astonished. ‘I thought it was pretty fantastic myself. Best kiss I’ve had in … oh, ages.’
Mikki suppressed a smile. ‘I meant it’s not a good idea. We can’t have sex, Tama.’
‘No. That would require a little less in the way of clothing than we currently have and it would be silly to risk dying of hypothermia.’
‘I meant not at all.’
‘We’re only kissing.’
‘And kissing is generally the first step on a path that leads to a lot more.’ It would be too disappointing to get more of Tama’s kisses and know they were leading to nothing more. Better to pull the plug right now. ‘What happens when we’re not sleeping on top of a mountain? Tomorrow, say, or next week?’
‘Do you want a lot more, Mouse?’
‘No.’ Yes.
‘You sure about that?’ Tama’s lips were teasing hers again.
‘We can’t.’ Mikki was desperately trying to remember why it was such a bad idea. Oh, yes … ‘It would be … completely inappropriate.’
‘Would it?’
‘Yes. Of course it would. You must see that.’
‘Help me out here. We’re both adults, aren’t we?’
‘Y-yes.’
‘And we’re both single. At least, I’m single. How ‘bout you?’
‘Of course I’m single. I wouldn’t be kissing you if I wasn’t.’
‘I also get the impression that neither of us is into those long-term, real relationships you were talking about. Not yet, in your case, anyway.’ A hint of alarm crept into his voice. ‘You don’t see me as husband material do you?’
Mikki almost laughed. ‘No way! And I’m certainly not looking. Settling down anywhere—with anyone—is the last thing I want right now. I’ve got way too much to do with my life first.’
‘So there you go. We’re the same, you and me.’ Tama’s grip on Mikki tightened by way of emphasis. ‘We want the same things. So why not sex? I think …’ Tama’s lips touched Mikki’s again and his tongue stroked hers for just a heartbeat. ‘I think it would be very, very good.’
Mikki had absolutely no doubts about that.
‘You’re my teacher.’ She forced the words out in a rush. ‘I’m with you because I need to learn stuff.’
‘Agreed.’ She could hear Tama smiling. ‘So the curriculum has some extras. I’m sure there’s some things I could teach you in bed, princess.’
Oh, Lord! Mikki had absolutely no doubts about that either.
‘I’m dependent