“You don’t have to say that.”
“I think I do. Wednesday night, we sort of skipped from your childhood to my brother’s death and never got back to it.”
“There’s no need.”
“I think there is.” He hesitated. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I’d like to know more.” He shook his head. “No. That’s not right. You said it’s not something you want to talk about.” In three years of living together, he’d bet she’d shown him signs of her troubles, but he’d never seen. He regretted now that he’d never seen her pain. Deeply. Wholeheartedly. If he’d noticed, he could have asked her about it at any time in their marriage. Now he knew she wanted it to be put behind her. If he really wanted a clean slate, he had to accept what she wanted, too.
“What I’m trying to say is that I want you to know that I get it. I understand. And maybe I’m sorry.”
He still wasn’t sure what he intended to do. If he should trust that funny feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him he should pursue this. Mostly because she was so different now that he had to treat her differently. She had goals and dreams. The first time they’d met he’d pulled her away from everything she had and everything she wanted. He wouldn’t do that to her this time.
And maybe that was the real test of whether or not they belonged together. If he could coexist without taking over, and if she could keep her independence without letting him overpower her, then maybe they did belong together.
He nearly snorted with derision. That was a tall order for a man accustomed to being the boss and a woman so obviously eager to please.
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
“Well, I am. I’m sorry I didn’t put two and two together. I’m sorry I made things worse.”
They didn’t speak while finishing the bed. Liz couldn’t have spoken if she’d tried. There was a lump in her throat so thick she couldn’t have gotten words past it.
When the bed was all set up, he said, “I better get back to the roof.”
Liz nodded, smiling as much as she could, and he left the room. She watched him go then forced her attention on the bed she’d just made. She’d missed another really good opportunity to tell him. But his apology about her situation with her dad had left her reeling. She hadn’t wanted to be overly emotional when she told him about their lost child. She wanted to be strong. So he could be sad. She wanted to keep the focus of the discussion on the loss being a loss…not someone’s fault.
Still, she’d better pick a time…and soon. With two honest discussions under their belts, he’d wonder why she’d kept her most important secret to herself when she’d had opportunities to tell him.
The following weekend and the weekend after, Liz found herself working primarily with Amanda. With the roof done, Amanda and Billy didn’t need to be off premises, and both were eager to get back on the job. Cain and Billy did the “man’s work” as Billy called it, and Amanda and Liz painted and then made lunches. There was never a time when she and Cain were alone.
Their final Sunday of work, with the roof replaced, the rooms painted, the plumbing working at peak efficiency, and shiny new baseboard and crown molding accenting each room, Amanda had wanted to make a big celebration dinner, but Cain had a conference call and Liz had begged off in favor of a cold shower. She kissed Amanda, Joy and Billy’s cheeks as Cain shook hands and gave hugs, then both headed for their vehicles.
“That was amazing,” Cain said when they were far enough from Amanda’s house that she couldn’t hear.
Liz blew out a breath of relief. “Dear God, yes. Finishing is amazing!”
He shook his head. “No. I’m talking about actually doing something for someone.” He sighed, stopping at the door to his truck. “You know that I give hundreds of thousands of dollars away a year, so you know I’m not a slouch. But giving is one thing. Working to help make a real person’s life better is entirely different.”
“No kidding!”
“I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m telling you. I feel terrific.”
She laughed. “You’ve got charity worker’s high.”
He shook his head again. “No. It’s more than that. I feel like I’ve found my new calling.”
Shielding her eyes from the sun, she peeked up at him, finally getting what he was telling her. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“You know A Friend Indeed has other houses.”
“Yes.”
“You can call Ayleen and I’m sure she’ll let you fix any one of them you want.”
He caught her gaze. “Will you help?”
Her heart stopped. Spend another several weeks with him? “I don’t know.” She pulled in a breath. When he looked at her with those serious eyes of his, she couldn’t think of saying no. Especially since he’d been so happy lately. And especially since she still had something to tell him and needed to be around him.
But she didn’t really want to connect their lives, and working together on another project more or less made them a team.
“Okay, while you think about that, answer this. I’m considering hiring Billy to be my assistant on these jobs. I know I’ll have to clear it with Ayleen, but before I talk to her I’d like a little background. Just enough that I don’t push any wrong buttons.”
“As long as you don’t hit his mother, I think you’ll be fine.”
“That bad, huh?”
Liz sighed. “I think the real problem might be getting him to accept a job.”
“Really? Why?”
“He might think it’s charity.”
“I never thought of that.”
“He’s got a lot of pride.”
Cain snorted a laugh. “No kidding. But we made headway working together.” He grinned at her. “I think he likes me.”
Liz rolled her eyes. “He admires you.”
“So I’ll use that. I’ll tell him he’s getting a chance to work with the big dog. Learn the secrets of my success.”
She laughed and an odd warmth enveloped her. Talking with him now was like talking with Ellie. Casual. Easy. Maybe they really had become friends?
“Hey, you never know. It might work.”
She grimaced. “I’m sure it will work.” She finished the walk to her car. She didn’t mind being friends with him, but she also didn’t want to risk the feeling going any further.
As she opened the door, Cain called after her, “So, are you going to help me?”
That was the rub. If she agreed to work with him, they really would become friends. And she’d probably have plenty of time not only to tell him her secret, but also to help him adjust to it. On the flip side, if things didn’t go well, she’d have plenty of time to see him angry, to watch him mourn, if he didn’t handle the news well.
“I’m going to think about it.”
Liz slid into her car and drove away. Cain opened his truck door. He’d expected her to be happier that he wanted to work on more houses. But he supposed in a way he understood why she wasn’t. The very reason he wanted her to work with him—to be together, to spend time together so they could get to know each other and see if they shouldn’t start over again—might be the reason she didn’t want to work with him. Their marriage had been an abysmal failure. She didn’t want to be reminded and she didn’t want to go back.
If