“Why embarrassed?” he asked.
“Because…I was so shallow back then. I was…”
“What?” he asked.
“Fixated on not becoming my mother.” She said it so quietly he knew that she didn’t want to admit it.
“Are you still?” he asked.
“I think the fear is so deeply embedded in me that I’ll never escape it.”
He’d never really asked about her family. He’d known that she hadn’t had a lot of money—that had been part of her initial attraction for his younger, rebellious self—and that her family wasn’t very close, but beyond that he knew nothing.
“What do you like?” she asked at last.
“Pleasing you,” he said smoothly. He hoped she didn’t realize he was using the same lines and practiced moves on her that he did with all the women he dated. But he knew no other way.
“I don’t think so. If we’re going to do this…if I’m ever going to move in here, Hayden, we have to have honesty between us.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. He was unable to believe she’d called him on his behavior, especially since she had at least as many secrets as he did. “That works both ways.”
She swallowed and her face lost color. “Okay, what do you want to know?”
“What did my dad say to make you leave?”
She shivered. He saw her and almost reached for her, but he knew that he used sex as a substitute for real emotions and forced himself to keep his hands by his sides.
“I…um…”
“Just say it. Nothing is that bad. Was it about your mom?”
“Yes. My mom is a stripper.”
“Okay. What else?”
“Nothing, just that I don’t know who my father is. Mom isn’t even sure.”
He reached for her then, pulled her into his arms and just held her. She felt small and fragile, and Hayden wanted to take this burden from her. But he knew his dad made a huge issue of ancestry. “I don’t care.”
She tipped her head back, glancing up at him with those wide eyes of hers. “I do.”
He rubbed his hands down her back, not sure what to say. After a few minutes she pulled back.
“Now, what do you really like to do? I want tonight to be to you what flying at sunset used to be to me.”
He let her change the subject, lighten the mood because he sensed she needed some distance. “Anything I can gamble on—poker, basketball, skydiving, a fast ride on a desert highway on the back of my Harley, hot sex.”
She tipped her head to the side, studying him again. “Wow, that’s some list. Let me see what I can come up with. I should be finished in my shop by eight.”
Hayden didn’t want to relinquish control of her. He knew it was because he’d been burned the one time he’d trusted her. He knew he should let the past go but he couldn’t.
She framed his face with her cold hands. Leaning up, she kissed him. There was a lot of emotion, past and present, in her kiss. Her mouth moved over his in a way that was more enthusiastic than practiced. He slipped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer to him.
She lifted her mouth from his and looked into his eyes for a long moment. What was she looking for in his eyes?
“Let me do this. I want to know the man you’ve become and show you the woman I am today.”
He dropped his arms and turned away, taking two deep breaths to try to get the scent of her out of his nose. But he couldn’t. He was inundated with Shelby. Her taste was on his tongue, the feel of her soft skin under his fingers….
His phone rang and he cursed, pulling it out. “I have to go.”
“I won’t keep you, but what about tonight?”
“I…”
“Hayden, I know that I lost your trust, but let me do this. It’s important to me.”
He stared at her. “Okay.”
She smiled up at him and he felt like a hero. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. But he also felt a little bad that such a simple thing could make her so happy.
“What should I plan for?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’ll call your assistant during the day and leave the details.”
She turned to leave and then stopped. “You won’t interfere, will you?”
“How?”
“By watching me on the security camera or monitoring the calls I make?”
He shrugged. “I can’t really monitor your calls.”
“And the security camera?”
“I like watching you, Shel.”
She blushed then. “I like watching you, too.”
“Say the word and we could move you in today.”
“Not yet. I want you to ask me after you get to know me.”
“I know the important stuff.”
“Like what?”
“That we both like great sex,” he said.
She laughed and they walked to the elevator. The doors closed and he watched her leave but knew he’d made progress in getting her back in his bed.
Four
Shelby’s day passed too quickly. She had no idea what to do for Hayden. But she wasn’t giving up. She hadn’t come from a trailer park to where she was by being easily swayed from her goal. She wracked her brain as she worked, trying to think of a date that Hayden wouldn’t expect but would love.
It was harder than she expected. Why couldn’t Hayden be like other men? The men she’d dated since she’d left him at the altar all those years ago. A man who was…not important to her, she realized.
Despite the fact that Alan was responsible for her being in Vegas at this time, she wanted Hayden for herself. She wanted him with her for the rest of her life. The thought scared her because it made every action she took more important.
And though she hated to do it, she called Alan for some suggestions. The fact of the matter was, Alan knew Hayden better than she did. Shelby vowed that would change. Alan gave her the number to the marina on Lake Mead where Hayden kept his yacht and said he’d call in the morning for an update.
Shelby made a mental note to turn her cell phone off before Alan called. She longed for a time when she could be with Hayden and just be herself. The first time she’d been too young and too afraid he’d see what she really was. Where she’d really come from.
Ultimately that had led to her leaving him. This time…well, this time she was balancing between keeping him from finding out that Alan had sent her here and just falling for him.
She thought it was telling that Hayden hadn’t mentioned his yacht. She wondered if she’d stumbled on to a private thing he liked to keep secret. From running her business she knew how demanding a career like Hayden’s could be. Was the yacht his escape valve? His one place where no one could find him?
She hated the out-of-control feeling. But she couldn’t figure out how to be herself and keep Hayden. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she deserved a man like him. It was just that being back in Vegas reminded her sharply of the girl she’d been. And that girl had too many insecurities.