Philip didn’t want that kind of responsibility. He wasn’t the marrying kind. He didn’t want or need a family. And from the sound of it, it was obvious that a family was something that Bella both wanted and needed.
Bitterness filled Philip. He couldn’t get married. That would require him to love deeply and Philip couldn’t bring himself to do that. His father had loved his mother so much that when she’d died in childbirth, he’d died, too.
The workers at the orphanage had whispered how sad it was when a man died of a broken heart from loving too hard. Even at the age of five, Philip had known that his father had hung himself in the barn. He’d seen him do it but had never told anyone.
Now here stood a stranger with two children who expected him to marry her. All women expected love to come with marriage eventually. He couldn’t give her his heart. What if he carried his father’s gene of weakness? Would he rather kill himself than live with the pain of knowing he’d never see his wife, the one who held his heart, again?
* * *
Bella Wilson watched the emotions rush across Philip’s face. He was a handsome man with deep blue eyes and straw-colored hair. There was a small bump on the bridge of his nose, which had probably been broken sometime in the past. She thought the bump gave his face character.
Was Philip Young a take-charge man? Her ex-fiancé, Marlow Brooks, had been a take-charge man, but when she didn’t want to follow his lead, he’d called off their engagement. The memory still stung. What had he expected her to do? Put the boys in an orphanage? There was no way Bella would allow Mary’s children to be sent away. She had foolishly thought that she and Marlow would raise the boys and give them a happy home. Marlow had disagreed and broken their engagement.
Bella wanted to prove to Philip that she had a backbone. So far she’d been timid with him, but her future, and the future of her nephews, depended on this man. Exhaustion had about taken its toll, but Bella knew she had to be strong for the boys’ sake. She squared her shoulders and lifted her head high, then said, “Look, you placed the advertisement and I have arrived in answer to it. Are you going to marry me or not?”
He swallowed. Philip ignored her question and asked one of his own. “What did you mean when you said that I’m your last hope to stay together?”
She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked to the little boys. “Mary and her husband, Jim, owed more than they owned. So there is no money to raise the boys. Before I knew that my sister’s life had all been a lie, I quit my job and hurried to Denver, Colorado. Upon arriving I learned that they didn’t have the money that she and her husband had led everyone to believe they did. So their debtors came and took everything Mary and Jim did have and then the bank froze their money to pay off their home mortgages. All I had left was what I brought with me and those two small boys with their small bags.” Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. She fought to keep the moisture from falling. “Now I have no money, no way to feed them and no place for them to live.”
“So why didn’t you continue on to Dove Creek?”
“I ran out of money and the stage refused to take me any farther. Thanks to Cara and John I learned that you’d be arriving soon and they said we could stay with them until you did.” Bella heard the desperation in her voice and swallowed hard. Would he abandon her and the boys to their fate? She’d answered an advertisement expecting him to marry her. It never dawned on her that he might not have placed it.
Bella gnawed at her bottom lip. Marrying Philip would assure the boys’ security. She’d been wary of who might be at the end of the trail, but now that she’d met him, Bella knew God had a plan. If only Philip would see it, too—then she’d be able to relax.
His deep sigh drew her attention. “Where do we go from here?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I’m still waiting to see if we are getting married. If not, then I will have to decide what I will do and you can go on with your life.” Bitterness laced her words and Bella wished she could take them back. Her life had changed so much in the last few months.
He nodded but didn’t say anything.
What must he think? He’d just been told she was his mail-order bride. A bride he’d not sent for. He could go on with his life and Bella couldn’t hold it against him. She’d gladly taken on her nephews because they were her family and she loved them. Philip didn’t have such feelings and wasn’t obligated to marry her.
Bella offered him what she knew was a weak smile. “It’s all right, Philip, I understand. You didn’t write the advertisement. I’m sorry I sounded resentful.” She pushed away from the table. “God will provide a way.” Were they empty words? Would the Lord really take care of her and the boys? Bella had to believe He would.
Philip pushed back his chair. “Give me time to think about this, Bella. It’s sudden for me.” His gaze moved past her to the two little boys. “And a lot of responsibility. But I’m willing to consider what is best for everyone.”
That was all she could ask, and yet Bella wanted to ask so much more of him. Instead she nodded her understanding.
The sadness on her face tugged at Philip’s heart. He looked to the two boys, who were staring back at him. “Come on, boys, help me put the horse away.”
They clambered down from the couch. The older boy looked up at him. He watched the younger one slip his small hand into his brother’s. Philip assured them, “You don’t have to come, if you don’t want to.”
The two looked at each other. Both seemed hesitant.
They were so small and unsure of what to do. Their little eyes were filled with a deep sorrow that could only be placed there by the loss of one’s parents. How many children had he met in the orphanage, where he’d grown up, with that same lost, hurt stare?
Philip kneeled down in front of them. “Look, fellas. You don’t have to go with me. I’m going to put the horse away and maybe find the old yellow cat that lives in the barn.”
“There is a kitty in the barn?” Mark asked with new interest.
Philip stood. “Last time I was here there was. He’s old, so I like to check on him, and sometimes I sneak a little milk from the cow to give the old cat a treat.”
Mischief replaced the look of loss in Mark’s eyes. “Can I help you sneak the milk?”
Philip started to the door. “You sure can, and if we hurry, we can be back in the house before it gets dark.”
Mark’s little boots sounded on the wooden floor behind him. “What color is the cat?”
Philip stopped by the door and pulled down both little boys’ coats. He held them out to the boys. Mark took his and thrust his arms into the sleeves while Philip answered, “He’s yellow with white stripes all over.”
Caleb looked to Bella one more time.
She smiled at him and motioned for him to go on. Her soft voice ordered, “Be good for Mr. Young and do as he says.”
That was all the encouragement the little boy needed. “Does the cat have a name?” Caleb asked, taking his own coat and then following Philip and Mark outside.
Philip untied the horse and walked him into the barn. He rubbed the horse’s velvety nose. “Cara calls him Sunny.”
Mark ran deeper into the barn. Horses of all colors looked out over their stall doors at the little boy as he passed. “Here, kitty, kitty,” he called in a soft voice.
“Caleb, take Mark up to the loft. That’s where Sunny likes to hang out.” Philip fluffed the older boy’s soft blond hair. “Just be careful up there.”