James’s body stiffened and his smile dropped away. He frowned, scanning her face. When he spoke, his words were low, surprised. “You’re afraid of me.”
Adrian swallowed, unable to deny it with her voice trapped at the back of her throat. Her heart banged away at her ribs like a wild, caged thing. She stared at those Latin letters on his collarbone, very aware of the rise and fall of his chest as the moment between them stretched, the silence deep. Don’t let him see.
James’s hand lifted and she braced not for a blow but a touch she knew would be just as crippling. She drew back against the wall, every muscle in her body tightening. The rough pad of his thumb grazed the knob of her chin just below her lips before his fingers spread and cupped her cheek.
Adrian closed her eyes to keep from looking at his face and all the things she might see there. Possibility. Light.
Nope, she refused to look at him and let her heart leap at him in the reckless, kamikaze way it had all those years ago.
His words were low again but edged in need that made her bite the inside of her lip. “The past eight years have been a crazy blur,” he began. “I’ve had some amazing highs and some pretty terrible lows. There’s been triumph and pain, light and shade. But no matter where I was, or what was going on around me, sometimes I would close my eyes and, in my mind, quiet would take over. For a moment, everything around me would be still and I could breathe. I could think. And then you’d be there. I’d see your face in front of me as clear as it was the last time I saw it. And there with you in the calm, I’d feel at peace again.”
Adrian opened her eyes as her lips parted. She gaped up at him and the emotions clashing in his eyes. She had expected pretty, empty words of apology from him. But this was a surprise—and the only thing that could have shattered her defenses. Suddenly, they were standing together and he looked as vulnerable as she felt.
She scanned his face, unable to look elsewhere. His expression, his eyes, all the silent words he communicated to her...they were like an eclipse—too dangerous to look at without some sort of shield but too irresistible not to. Adrian firmed her mouth in a tight line before she whispered, “You can’t...” Faltering, she reached up, took his hand, dropped it away and tried to form words again. “You can’t just come back into my life, say all the right things and expect me to fall at your feet again.”
A flicker of mirth crossed James’s face. A corner of his mouth twitched. “Well, the last time you didn’t exactly fall at my feet. Women like you, Adrian, don’t fall.” He moved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You’re much more resourceful and purposeful than that.”
She reached up to knead the pulsing vein in her temple. “You don’t know me, James. You might have once. But I’m different. I’ve changed.” You changed everything.
His eyes scanned her, heating. “I can see that.”
Adrian felt the rush of incredulity again and let it lead her out of the numb, defenseless state his words had bound her in. She scoffed, planting her hands on his chest and using them to move him back.
Normally, she knew that even if she had thrown a shoulder into his solid frame, she couldn’t have budged him. But he stepped back for her and she shoved by, scrubbing her fingers through her hair again. This time they mussed more than straightened, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “You need to go.”
“You haven’t told me whether or not you’re okay,” James pointed out, bracing his hand on the wall, the other still buried in his pocket. It was a wonder someone as big as he was could look so casually graceful.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she snapped. “I’m just peachy. Now are you satisfied?”
“Satisfied?” he asked and ran his tongue over his teeth, considering. “I might be. If you hadn’t looked so lost yesterday. If you hadn’t run from me as though I was the grim reaper.”
“You weren’t supposed to come back,” Adrian told him, wanting to hit him where it would hurt the most. Maybe then he would know what he was doing to her. “You weren’t ever supposed to come back.”
“Truth be told,” James said, pushing off the wall and straightening to his full height, “when I left, I fully intended it to be for good.”
“So, why are you here, James?” she asked, fighting hard to keep desperation from breaking over her voice. It was like walking on eggshells. “Why did you come back?”
James moved his shoulders. “I have unfinished business.”
“Me?” she demanded. “Is that why you moved in next door? Because you wanted to fix things with me? Or mess them up for me like you did the last time?”
His face went blank. “I would have messed things up more if I had stayed.”
Adrian let out a bitter laugh. “You idiot.”
“I didn’t ask you to vouch for me that night, Adrian,” James pointed out. “You shouldn’t have vouched for me.”
“But I did!” she shouted. “I did. And how did you repay me? You up and left!”
James started to argue, then stopped himself, grinding his back teeth. For the first time, a dark light blinked to life in his eyes, a warning glimmer. It was a snatched glimpse of the old James, the dark side of the hell-raiser he’d been. His chest moved as he pulled in a slow, deep breath, seeming to gather himself. He lifted his hand from his pocket and scraped two fingers over his mouth—the exact way Kyle did.
Adrian’s heart dropped and she almost reached for the chair beside her for balance.
James didn’t notice how much the gesture affected her. Thank God. Instead, his eyes cooled, the anger effectively vanquished, and he said, “We both know what happened eight years ago. I’m not dragging it out and picking a fight over it. I did what I thought was right.”
“And we both had to live with that,” she said, then bit her tongue. Damn it, why had she said that?
“What do you mean?” he asked.
She lifted her gaze back to his, challenging. “You don’t know?” she asked, again punching the words out. Unable to help herself now that she’d started.
His eyes narrowed. “What are you trying to tell me?”
“Come on, James,” she said, exasperated. “You expect me to believe you moved in next door by pure chance? Am I supposed to believe you closed your eyes, drove in circles and wound up at my place of work, too? Or did you throw darts at the map?”
James shrugged. “Adrian, I didn’t even know you were still in Fairhope, much less living next door to the house I bought.” He advanced again. “And even if I had known, what would it matter? Why are you afraid me?” Before she could reply, he pointed at her, the muscles of his face tight. “The Adrian I knew wasn’t afraid of anything, least of all me. What the hell’s happened in eight years to make that change?”
Adrian opened her mouth to retort, to deflect, but the sound of the bells jangling over the entry doors of the shop stalled her. Crap. She didn’t need customers overhearing this. With a sigh, she tempered the heat of argument inside her and lowered her voice. “These are business hours. If you want to continue this, it’ll have to be later.”
“Sure, later,” James said with a rigid nod. “How ’bout your place at six?”
“No!” she shrieked. “You can’t come over!”
“Why not?” he asked. Something crossed his face and it wasn’t friendly. “You got a territorial, live-in boyfriend or something?”
“No, but—”
“Hey, Mom, guess what!”