He glanced across at her. “I know. And I’m sorry about your mum... I really regret not being there for you.”
The memories Ellie never allowed herself to face suddenly broke free; all the emotion of those terrible days when she watched helplessly as her mother lost her fight with death swirled around inside her, dark and suffocating.
“It was so quick,” she cried, struggling to hold back tears. “She’d had that pain in her back for ages. I told her and told her to see a doctor, and when she did... When she did, it was already too late.”
“It must have been a terrible time...for all of you.”
Andy’s voice was warm and caring, reminding her just how much she’d needed him during her mother’s decline. Reminding her of how lost she’d felt without him. Suddenly, his presence felt stifling.
“Here,” she cried. “Stop here, Andy. This is fine.”
“But...” he objected, touching the brakes.
“It’s fine,” she repeated, fumbling for her bags. She was already scrambling out of the vehicle as he pulled up to the curb.
Andy reached out to take her arm, but she wriggled from his grasp. “Thanks for the ride, and for helping the fox,” she mumbled, already walking away. “I’ll see you.”
When she heard his door slam, Ellie couldn’t help but look back. He was standing on the pavement, long fingers pushed through his thick blond hair, tall and lanky and totally out of place in the suburbs of the city, watching in bewilderment as she raced off down the street. His voice followed after her like an echo from the past.
“Ellie...Ellie...”
For a heart-stopping moment, she wanted to turn and run back, to share all her agony with him. But it was way too late for that. Andy Montgomery was out for just one person—himself. She knew that all too well.
Ellie ran for what felt like miles, as if she could run away from all the things Andy had made her remember. Her phone rang just as she saw a familiar landmark, and she stopped, breathing heavily. Was it him? No, it couldn’t be, she realized with relief. She hadn’t given him her number.
Matt’s name flashed on the screen.
Ellie took another deep breath and answered. “Yes?”
“You okay?”
“No thanks to you.”
“Do you want me to come get you?”
“I take it your deal worked out?”
Matt paused. “Kind of. Do you want me to pick you up or not?”
“No, thanks. I’m nearly home.”
“Then I’ll come by at seven-thirty and take you out to dinner.”
There was no point in trying to put him off, and Ellie was too tired to resist, anyway. “See you then.”
“Oh, and Ellie?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry for abandoning you.”
Flicking off her phone, she stepped back into the present, determinedly trying to shake off the events of the afternoon.
Her phone rang again, buzzing against her hip as she was finally climbing the stairs to her apartment. With a sigh, she retrieved it from her jacket pocket, wishing she had passed on Matt’s dinner offer.
“Hello?” she responded, tucking the phone in between her shoulder and her chin as she fumbled to unlock the door.
It was Matt again, his voice high-pitched and urgent. As always, he was living life in a rush. “You home yet?”
Her heart lifted. “Don’t tell me. You’ve changed your mind.”
He laughed. “No, nothing like that. I just wanted to make sure you knew what time I was picking you up.”
“Seven-thirty, right?”
“Yes, and wear something nice.”
“Don’t I always,” she retorted.
* * *
AS ELLIE BURROWED through her closet for an outfit, she realized she hadn’t called her dad, as she’d told herself she would. She was going to Hope Farm next weekend, she decided, no matter what he said. Seeing Andy again had brought the past sharply back into focus. For the first time since leaving home, she felt as if she was finally ready to face those memories and maybe even make peace with all that had happened. She didn’t dare give herself enough time to change her mind.
“Sorry, Mum,” she whispered, holding back tears. She had let down her mum’s memory. Badly. She should have stayed home and supported her dad, she understood that now, or at least kept in better touch with him...whether he wanted her to or not.
Ellie took a short black skirt and lacy top from their hangers and let her mind slip back to the difficult days after her mother’s funeral. She had been just a teenager back then; her dad was the adult. Now, though, she was an adult. She’d made her own way in the world for almost six years, ever since she said goodbye to her grieving father and drove away from Hope Farm. Maybe that was the day she’d grown up—or perhaps that had happened when she’d held her mother’s hand as her life slipped away. The hustle and bustle of a totally new life had seemed to help her through her own grief, but now she wasn’t so sure. Maybe this life she’d made for herself wasn’t really a new beginning... Maybe it was a hiding place.
Ellie stepped into the shower, and as the water ran soothingly over her aching limbs, she let out a sigh. The safe little world she had set up for herself felt as if it was crumbling around her.
THE RESTAURANT MATT had chosen was suave and sophisticated.
“I wish you’d told me we were coming here—I would have worn something classier,” Ellie groaned as they pulled up outside. She checked her reflection, fluffing up her short blond curls.
“You look fine,” he insisted. “And you’ll be far more likely to charm my client dressed like that.”
“You’re not seriously telling me this is a business dinner, Matt. I thought you were trying to make amends for abandoning me this afternoon.”
“I am, kind of. I’m killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.”
Her irritation suddenly faded, and was replaced with amusement. Was that why she was with Matt? she wondered. Because she didn’t need to take him too seriously? It occurred to her that their whole engagement might be a sham. If they were both honest, neither of them actually wanted to get married...or even move in together. The thought left her feeling vaguely uncomfortable, and when Andy’s warm grin flashed into her mind, she quickly stifled the emotions it conjured, turning her attention back to the present.
“Ever the opportunist, eh, Matt?” She laughed, trying to sound lighthearted.
“Have to be.” He grinned, holding out his arm.
As she curled her fingers around the expensive material of his suit jacket, she lifted her chin, silently cursing Andy Montgomery for coming back into her life; hopefully their paths wouldn’t cross again for a while...or ever. He conjured up way too many painful memories. Life with Matt was lighthearted, and she liked lighthearted right now.
* * *
DETERMINED TO ENJOY the evening, Ellie tried her best to make conversation with Matt’s middle-aged client, Jack Noble. She was a bit self-conscious about the length of her skirt, but she didn’t let on. She had been to so many of these dinners since she met Matt that sometimes she wondered if he was