‘Emily, I meant to say I’m so sorry you didn’t get the promotion.’ Her head was cocked to one side, as if she was talking to a child instead of someone the same age as her. ‘Paul was just talking me through it all; you know, my additional responsibilities, how much travel there’s going to be and stuff like that. I feel awful that you didn’t get it, really I do.’
Her syrupy-sweet voice clashed dramatically with the smugness in her face. I could see right through her; she was basking in the glory of her new-found promotion and rubbing my face in it.
‘Oh, I’m sure you won’t lose too much sleep over it,’ I replied, my expression like curdled milk. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you’ve got loads of work to do, so don’t let me keep you.’
She flashed me a final smile, then walked back to her desk. She threw a look towards Paul’s office over her shoulder. It lingered just a little too long and the realisation hit me like a ten-ton truck.
‘Oh God, I’ve been so bloody stupid!’ I let out a hollow laugh and threw my head into my hands.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Frankie.
‘Ask yourself this: why would Paul promote someone with crap sales figures, who’s hardly generated any potential leads, and who clearly isn’t capable of doing the job? I thought her blowing him a kiss just then was strange, but did you see that look she just did? They’re obviously involved with each other! That’ll be why Tara got promoted over me.’
I let out a frustrated sigh and banged my fists on the desk. ‘It’s just one thing after another, isn’t it?’
Frankie rubbed my back. ‘Maybe you should take the rest of the day off? Go home and talk to your mum about this Derek bloke; you must have loads of questions to ask her.’
‘No,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘No, I’m staying here.’
I turned my full attention to the screen in front of me, losing myself in the work I had to do that day. Everything would be OK as long as I kept Mum’s revelation firmly shut out. If I didn’t think about it, it would slowly fade away.
*
Of course, it didn’t.
In fact, the more I tried not to think about Mum’s revelation, the more it occupied my mind. By lunchtime, it had permeated my every thought and even my questions had questions. I desperately craved answers, but had no idea where to turn for them. Every kernel of an idea ended up at a dead end; I was glad to leave the office on my lunch hour.
‘What am I going to do, Frankie?’ I asked as we sat in our favourite sushi restaurant on Queen Street. ‘I mean, how could they keep something like this from me my whole bloody life? Didn’t they think I had a right to know who my biological father was? It’s not as if I’d have ditched my dad and run off to find this Derek bloke, is it? Nothing’s ever going to change the fact that Simon Reed is the man who’s been there for every big moment in my life and brought me up as his own. I just… I don’t know. I feel as if my whole life up to this point has been one big lie.’
I grabbed a California roll and stuffed it into my mouth, hoping the taste would somehow distract me from my ever-growing mountain of problems.
Frankie, cool and collected as ever, raised one of her perfectly defined eyebrows as she ate her spicy tuna roll. ‘The way I see it, Em, there’s only one thing you can do: go to Luna Bay. You’re due loads of leave since you practically live in the office, and I’m sure Paul wouldn’t mind. While you’re there, you could meet up with Derek and finally get the answers you’re looking for.’
I grimaced. ‘I dunno, Frankie. It’s in the arse-end of nowhere, I wouldn’t be able to do any work and there won’t be a decent coffee shop or sushi restaurant for miles! You know me; if I have to do without my California rolls and double espressos for too long, I go mad.’
She cocked her head to one side, much like Tara had done earlier but without the condescension. ‘OK, so you’d have to do without some creature comforts for a few weeks. Wouldn’t it be worth it to finally meet Derek and find out all about him? You said it yourself: you feel like your whole life up till last night has been a lie. If you go to Luna Bay and spend some time with him, you might find that things start to make a bit more sense. Did you never feel like something was different before last night?’
I shook my head, the salty tang of tears stinging the back of my throat. ‘Nope, never. I think if I had, this would’ve been a bit easier to deal with. I would’ve thought “so that’s why I’ve always felt a bit out of place” and felt, I dunno, relieved or something. But I don’t because I never for a second suspected that my dad wasn’t my dad. He was… he is… in every sense of the word apart from stupid, sodding DNA. It must’ve torn him apart to bring up another man’s kid, but he never showed it.’
Frankie reached over and put a hand over mine. ‘See this right here? This is why you should go to Luna Bay. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself mad trying to fill in the gaps and end up upsetting yourself. What do you reckon? Think you could stand missing a few art exhibitions and sushi lunches to find out more about this guy?’
I paused for a moment to think, taking another California roll as I mulled things over. ‘You know what? You’re absolutely right!’
Operation Find Derek came together surprisingly quickly. It started with me marching into Paul’s office just after lunchtime.
‘I want to talk about booking some leave,’ I said, taking a seat on his rickety visitor’s chair. ‘I… I’ve had a bit of a family crisis, you see, and I was wondering if I could use up all my leave to sort it out.’
I looked up at him as he fiddled with a packet of sherbet, trying to mine the remainder out from the creases in the paper. His face twisted into expressions showing varying degrees of frustration before he gave up and shoved the whole lot in the bin.
‘Sorry, what did you say?’
I gritted my teeth and repeated myself, putting special emphasis on the ‘family emergency’ part.
‘So what do you say? I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, and we aren’t too busy at the moment.’
It felt odd to not use my usual no-nonsense, ball-busting approach. I felt vulnerable and exposed; there was no bravado or bluster to hide behind. I was just a girl sitting in front of her boss, asking for time off to go and chase after her long-lost biological father.
He chewed over it for a moment, umming and ahhing and sucking air in through his teeth.
‘I don’t know, Emily. You’re one of my top development managers and I can’t afford to have you away for too long. What’s this family emergency you need to sort out?’
I felt a furious blush creep into my cheeks. ‘I’d rather not go into specifics, but I’m planning to visit a little village in Yorkshire called Luna Bay for a while.’
The name sparked Paul’s interest and he began to rummage through a large pile of papers on his desk. Eventually, he found what he was looking for and flashed me a triumphant grin.
‘How about you make it a working holiday? We’ve got this little B&B down there we’d like to get our hands on: a place called Sunflower Cottage. Why don’t you book in there, try and talk the old biddy who owns it into selling to us, and you can do whatever you need to do at the same time? It’d put you in a really good position for another promotion. Plus, if it makes you feel any better, she sent Tara packing when she went down there a few months ago.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Paul,