‘What happened?’ Sophie tenderly stroked Lindsay’s leg.
‘I wasn’t paying attention. I was running up the hill to the Botanics and I crashed into somebody.’
Sophie shook her head, indulgent amusement on her face. ‘So how much havoc did you create?’
‘None. She was absolutely fine. She ended up driving me home.’
‘Lucky for you her car was there.’
Lindsay shrugged. ‘She lives across the river. It was easier to give in and hobble there than to risk doing myself serious damage by walking all the way home.’
‘Still, it was nice of her to take the trouble.’ Sophie began gently massaging the relaxed curve of Lindsay’s calf.
Lindsay leaned back against the folded wooden shutter. ‘Aye, it was. And then she propositioned me.’
Sophie’s hand froze and her eyes widened. ‘She what?’
Lindsay struggled to maintain a straight face. ‘She made me the kind of offer you’re not supposed to be able to refuse, especially when it comes from a cute blonde baby dyke.’
‘I hope this is your idea of a joke,’ Sophie said, her voice a dark warning.
‘No joke. She asked me if I wanted to come and work with her.’
Sophie cocked her head to one side, not sure how much her lover was playing with her. ‘She offered you a job? On the basis of crashing into you and watching you sprain your ankle? She’s looking for a bull in a china shop?’
‘On the basis that I am still apparently a legend in my own lunchtime and she’s got a very healthy freelance journalism business that could use another pair of hands.’ Lindsay let her face relax, her eyes sparkling with the delight of having wound Sophie up.
Sophie gave Lindsay’s knee a gentle punch. ‘Bastard,’ she said. You had me going for a minute there.’ She ran a hand through her silvered curls. ‘I don’t believe you,’ she sighed. ‘Only you could manage to turn a jogging accident into a job opportunity. But how did she know you were a journalist? Is she someone you used to work with?’
‘No. She was barely in the game by the time we left for California.’ Lindsay quickly ran through the details of the encounter with Rory that she’d been polishing into an anecdote all afternoon. ‘And so,’ she concluded, ‘I said I’d think about it.’
‘What’s to think about?’ Sophie said. ‘It doesn’t have to be forever. If something else you really fancy comes up, you can always move on. Idleness makes you miserable, and it’s not like you’re snowed under with prospects.’
Lindsay pulled a face. ‘Thanks for reminding me,’ she said frostily.
‘I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it sounds like what Rory’s doing would be right up your street. Chasing the kind of stories that interest you. Working with a community you can feel part of.’
Lindsay drew her leg away from Sophie and swung round to face the living room. ‘Never mind that I’d be working for somebody ten years younger than me. Never mind that she only offered it because she felt sorry for me. Never mind that it feels like back-tracking to where I was fifteen years ago.’
Sophie got to her feet and moved to turn on the lamps. ‘It doesn’t sound like she felt sorry for you. It sounds like she was blown away by the chance of working with one of her heroes. Anyway, from what you’ve said, you wouldn’t be working for Rory, you’d be working with her.’
‘And who do you think is going to get first dibs on the stories? They’d be coming from her contacts, not mine. Coming on the basis of her reputation, not mine. I’d end up with the scraps from the table. The stories that don’t interest her. The down-page dross.’
Sophie leaned on the mantelpiece, casting a speculative look at her lover. ‘It might start off like that. But it wouldn’t be long before the word went out that Lindsay Gordon was back in town. You’d soon be pulling in your own stories. Where’s your fight gone, Lindsay? You’ve always had a good conceit of yourself. It’s not like you to indulge in self-pity.’
For a long moment, Lindsay said nothing. Finally, she took a deep breath. ‘Maybe I’ve been sitting in your shadow for too long.’
Sophie’s face registered shock. But before she could say anything, the doorbell rang.
‘That’ll be the takeaway,’ Lindsay said. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I didn’t feel up to standing around cooking.’
Sophie frowned. ‘Of course I don’t mind. Why would I mind, for God’s sake?’
‘Because you’ll be paying for it. You’d better go and answer the door. If we wait for me to stagger out there, it’ll be cold by the time we get to eat it.’ She pushed herself upright and began to limp towards the kitchen, using whatever furniture was available as a prop.
By the time Sophie returned with a carrier bag full of Indian food, Lindsay had managed to put plates and cutlery on the kitchen table. Sophie dumped the takeaway on the table and headed for the fridge. ‘You want a beer?’
‘Please.’ Lindsay busied herself with unpacking the foil containers and tossing the lids into the empty bag. When Sophie returned with a couple of bottles of Sam Adams Boston Lager, Lindsay looked up. ‘I’m sorry. That was out of order.’
Sophie sat down and helped herself to pilau rice. ‘Is that how you feel? That you’re living in my shadow?’ Her voice betrayed the anxiety Lindsay’s words had provoked.
Lindsay worried at a piece of naan bread. ‘It’s not that. Not exactly. It’s more that I feel I’ve been drifting. No direction of my own. It’s like the teaching job in Santa Cruz. I’d never have moved into teaching journalism if I’d stayed in the UK, but we went to the US for your career, and I had to find something to do.’
‘But I thought you enjoyed it?’
‘I did. But that was pure luck. It wasn’t because I had a burning desire to teach. And if I’d hated it, I’d still have had to stick with it, because there was bugger all else I could do.’ Lindsay reached for the bottle and took a swig of beer. ‘And now, here we are, back in Scotland because of your career, and I’m still no nearer figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.’
Sophie opened her mouth to say something but Lindsay silenced her with a raised finger. ‘Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that’s your fault. Nobody is more pleased than me that everything’s going so well for you. I know what it means to you and how hard you’ve worked for it. But it doesn’t make it any easier for me. And you being so keen for me to hitch my wagon to Rory’s star – that feels like you being desperate for me to take up any kind of stopgap that’ll keep me from going out of my head with boredom and frustration. I don’t want another stopgap, Soph, I want to feel passionate about something. The way you do.’
Sophie looked down at her plate and nodded. ‘I understand that,’ she said. ‘But you used to feel passionate about journalism. When I first knew you, ages before we got together, you really cared about what you were doing. You really believed you could make a difference.’
Lindsay gave a bark of ironic laughter. ‘Yeah, well, we all thought we could change the world back then. I soon got that knocked out of me.’
They ate for a few minutes in silence. Then Sophie reached out and covered Lindsay’s hand with her own. ‘Why don’t you give it a try? It sounds as though Rory’s way of working is light years away from the daily grind that turned you into a cynic. It can’t hurt to put your toe in the water. Besides, when the gods drop such an amazing piece of serendipity in your lap, it seems to me it would be tempting fate to thumb your nose at it.’
Lindsay tried to swallow her mouthful of bhuna lamb, but it seemed to have lodged in her throat. She’d