My shoulders slumped under invisible hands, pushing me down. ‘I know my words wouldn’t have changed anything but, believe me, I’m not done trying. There has to be another way.’
I stared into his eyes, and a powerful, electric silence fell between us. He leaned forward, but the chains prevented him from going very far.
‘Thank you,’ he said softly. ‘For believing me.’
‘I’ve always believed you, Sebastian.’ I raised my hand to his face and pressed my palm gently against his right cheek. His skin was cool to the touch, like a stone plucked from a mountain stream. I felt my heart beat faster as our eyes met. ‘You’re the only one I can believe.’
Applause roared around me. I jerked to the present. My legs wobbled in my pose. The chair Andre was balancing on teetered underneath his feet, but he adjusted so fast, no one in the audience would’ve noticed. But he did. I came out of my handstand. He offered his hands and I dismounted beside him.
‘What’s in your head?’ Andre hissed in my ear. ‘Focus!’
I sprang onto his broad shoulders again for our next pose, the most difficult of our combinations for the routine. His hands wrapped around mine, giving me a cue with one firm squeeze. I pulled myself up again, this time, balancing on one arm. My body quivered. Just a few more seconds. I tried to block out the crowd, the lights, and the pressure. But my mind …
Sebastian …
I said his name like a plea.
Sebastian …
He turned his silver-moon eyes toward me. Guilt, like a massive explosion, struck me from the inside out. I strained to reach him through the bars of the cage. I couldn’t. He was too far. I’d come too late. All I could do was whisper the same phrase, over and over again.
I’m so sorry … I’m so sorry … I’m so …
I over-rotated. Andre’s hand clamped tighter, but I couldn’t straighten. My body wouldn’t obey. I clenched my teeth and willed all my strength into my muscles. My stomach burned as I held on. It was only skill and hours of practice that kept us together. We morphed fluidly into another pose and I managed a smooth dismount without missing a beat. Applause erupted from around the Big Tent.
My cheeks burned as Andre took my hand and we faced the audience. We took our bows and hurried out of the circle as the lights dimmed on the stage space. We slipped behind the curtain separating the Big Tent from the backstage.
‘What was that?’ Andre snapped at me. ‘That’s the worse we’ve ever done that routine.’ We stopped in front of our dressing areas and he looked me over, his close-set eyes scrutinizing me critically. ‘What’s going on? Are you hurt?’
‘No,’ I said, pulling back the separating curtain. I didn’t want to look at him. I just needed him to leave me alone so I could change out of my costume and be finished with the performance for good. ‘I’m fine, Andre. I just had an off-night, that’s all. It’s been a long day.’
‘When is it not a long day around here?’ he said.
‘I know—’
‘It’s about that gargoyle, isn’t it?’
I froze, my hand on the curtain. I saw the judgment written across Andre’s broad face, along with his scathing disbelief. He’d formed his own opinions, just like Quentin – I knew it the second I saw him sitting at the table for the kris. I felt a slow, cold anger seep through my bones, pushing away my guilt and shame.
‘His name’s Sebastian,’ I said.
And I shoved the curtain closed between us.
*
I stripped down as quickly as possible, relieved to put away the sequins and glitter. I’d spent most of my life hiding behind the show glam, disappearing within the elaborate makeup and bright clothes. It gave me a sense of peace. Now, I suddenly felt stifled by it.
The curtain rustled. I finished buttoning my jeans and sat down to pull on my shoes.
‘Come in.’
Francis slipped inside my small dressing room. My brother was dressed all in black, but it was the uniform used by the Circe crew, not the Marksmen. He plopped down in a chair opposite me, giving me a crooked smile, but his eyes were clouded.
‘Are you sure about this, Josie?’
I stood and grabbed my duffel bag, hastily cramming a few outfits inside it, along with items off my dressing table. ‘Yes, I’m sure. It’s the only way. I’ve already worked it out. Claire is going to take over for me for tomorrow’s show. I talked to Father and told him I need a short break, so I can clear my head.’
‘I still can’t believe he’s giving you permission to spend the entire weekend away from the Circe,’ said Francis. ‘It’s totally not like him at all.’
‘Father’s a lot of things, but he’s not heartless.’ I zipped up the duffel bag, then shrugged and looked away. ‘And he knows how much Sebastian—’
Means to me.
I didn’t complete the thought, but I didn’t have to. Francis already knew what I was going to say. He was my twin, after all. His eyes narrowed into a knowing look, and he pursed his lips.
‘You’re taking a big risk, you know. You’re not allowed anywhere near Savannah, you remember that, right? What with you being the secret successor to the Queen and all.’
I almost smiled. ‘It’s kind of hard to forget that.’
‘Okay,’ said Francis. ‘Just checking. As your brother, I feel it’s my obligation to let you know that your plan is both dangerous and ridiculous.’ He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Which is why I’m behind it, one hundred and ten percent.’
I reached for his hand. ‘Thanks.’
Francis smiled. ‘So, you ready?’
‘Almost.’
I pulled open the top drawer of my makeup table. Inside was the small, leather-bond book Esmeralda Lucian had given me the day before, when Sebastian and I were in her cave home under the bridge. I ran my fingers over the worn cover. Esmeralda, my high school teacher, who I’d only recently discovered was a banished guardian, had instructed me to keep the book safe. So it had to come with me.
I stuffed the book into the back pocket of my jeans and hoisted my bag over my shoulder. ‘Now, I’m ready.’
My brother and I slipped out of the Holding Tent and headed towards the back of the lot, where our vehicles were kept. It was quiet around the Circe. Most everyone had retired to their trailers for the night. My nerves dissipated as we climbed into Francis’ pick-up truck and he steered us out the back gates of the Fairgrounds.
My fingers tingled with nervous anticipation. I’d told Sebastian after the trial that there had to be another way to help him. Earlier this evening, I’d thought that way was with Hugo and the Corsis. But it wasn’t. They’d pushed me out.
Which meant, I was going to have to do this on my own.
We crossed the churning Sutallee River and headed through the woods in the direction of town. Francis stayed uncharacteristically quiet for most of the ride. We’d never been ones to try and talk the other out of things, but I could tell by the way he gripped the steering wheel that he was wary.
Ten minutes later, we pulled into the front entrance of a well-manicured neighborhood. We passed several houses before turning into