When he settled behind the wheel, his presence seemed to take up the entire space, and she wedged herself closer to the door, tugging her robe tighter around her. He’d set the heat on high, and the air rushing from the vents warmed her bare legs.
As he pointed the truck down the driveway, a hand-beaded ornament swung from his rearview mirror. The delicate star boasting golden points and a bright blue interior seemed in direct contrast to his tough exterior and the manly truck. Obviously a vintage item, she suspected he had a story behind the ornament, and she didn’t know what to make of it, of him. He was such an enigma. One minute kind and protective, the next all business. She hadn’t a clue which guy was the real Jake Marsh.
It didn’t much matter, though. Even if he’d struck some cord in her that had been dormant since Eli died, she’d fight the feelings. She would never expose herself to the searing loss that opening her heart again could bring.
Trouble was, when Jake had first taken the chair across from her and looked into her eyes, she’d seen something that resonated deep inside, like maybe he understood the pain and guilt that plagued her. Like maybe he would understand if she mentioned that after her husband died, grief consumed her and she hadn’t properly cared for herself. When she reached her fifth month of pregnancy, she’d miscarried. Maybe he’d even hold her and try to convince her that she shouldn’t blame herself.
Right, and people had wings and could fly, too.
Point-blank, her husband and child were gone, and this man could do nothing to assuage her guilt. After all, God hadn’t been able to erase it, so why would she think a man could?
She’d learned that nothing good came from brooding over the past, so she trained her gaze out the window until they turned onto her street.
“Almost there,” he said.
A sigh slipped out before she could stop it.
“If this is about all the questions we had to ask,” he said, “I’m sorry, but you fit the profile for an infant abductor.”
Surprised at his announcement, she swiveled. “What exactly is that profile?”
“Female. In your childbearing years. Same race as the child abducted. An overwhelming loss in your past. Your husband, I mean.”
“A zillion other women fit that description, too,” she responded, thinking it was only a matter of time before they learned of her miscarriage. Then her suspect potential would grow exponentially.
“But these other women didn’t have access to Kelly, nor were they her caregiver.”
She crossed her arms. “I’m not the only woman who has access to Kelly. Besides, what do you think I would do with her if I arranged the kidnapping? It’s not like I can show up to work holding a baby that everyone would recognize.”
“But you could close down the center and move out of town.”
“I’d never close my center. These parents need the service I provide, and it’s my way of...” She wouldn’t tell him her service helped her atone for her role in Eli’s and the baby’s deaths. “Never mind. If Detective Hunter keeps digging into my life, she’ll soon know I’m not behind this.”
He eyed her for a moment. “What about parents or staff members who might have recently lost a child? Like a miscarriage or a child dying. Has that happened to any of them?”
He’d clearly described her, sending her heart plummeting. “Why is that a concern?”
“Losing a child is one of the biggest reasons women abduct other children.”
So she’d been right on track thinking if she admitted her own miscarriage, that, along with the other items he mentioned earlier, would move her from suspect to prime suspect. Then the investigative focus would fall solely on her, which would not help them find the kidnapper.
“None of my staff or parents have lost a child,” she said without elaborating.
He nodded. “Then we’ll expand beyond the center to other people in Pam Baldwin’s life. Do you know if she has friends or any female family members who might fit this description?”
“In an effort to stay clean, she left all the people she did drugs with in the past, and I don’t think she’s had the time to make new friends. I suppose one of her coworkers could have lost a child. All I know about her family is that she’s not close to her parents.”
“Does she have a boyfriend?”
Rachael shook her head. “Not that I know of.”
“Okay, then our focus will likely remain on you and your staff members for the time being.”
“My staff members?”
He nodded. “They have access to Kelly, so Detective Hunter will be interviewing them, and they’ll remain under suspicion until we can rule them out.”
Great. Now they were going to grill her teachers, too. All of the caring, compassionate women who’d worked beside her for three years. Women who’d no sooner hurt Kelly than she would.
“They didn’t do this,” she said. “Pick on me all you want, but please don’t harass them.”
“We’re harassing you? Is that what you think?”
“What else can I think? I was attacked this morning, which should prove my innocence, but you don’t seem to care.” Her voice wobbled, and she hated that she came across as weak and whiny.
He slowed at a stop sign and fixed a steady gaze on her. “I care, Rachael, but our mission is to find this guy as quickly as possible before he hurts anyone else. If that means we have to keep you on our suspect list no matter what we think about your innocence, then that’s what we’ll do.”
She studied him carefully, looking for any hint of his real opinion of her. “So you don’t think I’m involved?”
He turned back to his driving and didn’t answer, which, she supposed, was an answer in itself and the end to their conversation. She peered out the window. The clouds had broken, and one of Oregon’s famous rainbows hung in the sky, the muted colors giving her hope that God had something good planned for her future.
She recommitted herself to staying strong, not for herself, but for the center’s parents and staff. She used her pain to make a difference in others’ lives, and that had been the only thing that had taken her out of her grief and allowed her to live again. She just needed to keep that in mind and be thankful for her opportunities.
She closed her eyes.
Thank you, Lord, for keeping Kelly safe. For Jake and his team. Continue to watch over her. Over all of us. And help them find the intruder.
She kept her eyes closed until she felt the car bump into the driveway of the house she’d purchased when she’d opened the center. Living in the home she and Eli had shared had been too painful, and when God finally showed her how to move on in life, she knew she couldn’t continue to live in the home that held so many memories.
“Deputy Keith Hill.” Jake nodded at the patrol car sitting in front of her bungalow. “He’s got this shift.”
“Thanks again for arranging for his protection. I feel much safer.”
Jake reached behind the seat and lifted out her iPad. “I found it in the drawer right where you said it would be.”
He handed it to her, and she clutched it to her chest like a lifeline. She might not be allowed back into the center where she’d pinned all of her hopes and dreams the last few years, but she had her connection to the families through this device.
He reached behind the seat again. “I also grabbed your purse. I figured you’d