Patrik knew that he was being sentimental and maudlin. But it was only now, this morning, that he had understood the scope of the responsibility that had been placed in his hands with his daughter’s birth. Only now did he realize the extent of both his love and his fear. When he saw the drowned girl lying like a statue on the deck of the boat, for a moment he wished that Maja had never been born. Because how could he live with the risk of losing her?
He carefully put the photograph back on his desk and leaned back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head. It suddenly felt utterly meaningless to continue with the tasks he’d been working on before they got the call from Fjällbacka. Most of all he wanted to drive home, crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head for the rest of the day. A knock on the door interrupted his dismal ruminations. ‘Come in,’ he assented and Annika cautiously pushed open the door.
‘Hi, Patrik, excuse me for disturbing you. But I just wanted to tell you that Forensic Medicine rang and said they’d received the body. We’ll have the autopsy report the day after tomorrow.’
Patrik gave a weary nod. ‘Thanks, Annika.’
She hesitated. ‘Did you know her?’
‘Yes, I’ve met the girl, Sara, and her mother quite a few times lately. Charlotte and Erica have been spending a good deal of time together since Maja was born.’
‘How do you think it happened?’
He sighed and fidgeted absently with the papers before him without looking up. ‘She drowned, as I’m sure you heard. Apparently she went down to the wharf to play, fell in the water, and then couldn’t get out. The water is so cold that she probably got hypothermia very quickly. But driving out to tell Charlotte, that was the most terrible …’ His voice broke and he turned away so that Annika wouldn’t see how the tears threatened to spill out of his eyes.
She tactfully closed the door to his office and left him in peace. She wasn’t going to get much done on a day like this, either.
Erica looked at the clock again. Charlotte should have been here half an hour ago. She carefully shifted Maja, who was snoozing at her breast, and reached for the telephone. It rang many times at Charlotte’s house, but no one answered. How odd. She must have gone out and forgotten that they were supposed to get together that afternoon. Although that really wasn’t like her.
Erica felt that they had become close friends in a very short time. Maybe because they were both in a fragile time of their lives, maybe because they were simply very similar to each other. It was funny, really. She and Charlotte seemed more like sisters than she and Anna ever had. She knew that Charlotte worried about her, and that gave her a secure feeling in the midst of all the chaos. Her whole life Erica had worried about other people, especially Anna. To be viewed for once as the person who was little and scared felt strangely liberating.
At the same time she knew that Charlotte had her own problems. It wasn’t only that she and her family were forced to live at home with her parents, Lilian and Stig. Lilian, especially, didn’t seem easy to live with. But something unsure and tense came over Charlotte’s face each time she talked about her husband Niclas. Erica had only met him briefly on a few occasions, but her spontaneous impression was that there was something unreliable about the man. Or perhaps unreliable was too strong a word. Maybe it was more a feeling that Niclas was one of those people who has good intentions but, in the end, will always allow his own needs and desires to take precedence over everyone else’s. Charlotte had told her a few things that had confirmed this impression, even though she mostly had to read between the lines, since her friend usually spoke of her husband in adoring terms. Charlotte looked up to Niclas and, on several occasions, had said straight out that she couldn’t understand how she had been so lucky. It seemed inconceivable to her that she was married to someone like him.
Erica could see, of course, that from a purely objective point of view he rated higher on the looks scale than Charlotte. Tall, blond and handsome was the ladies’ assessment of the new doctor. And he certainly had an extensive academic background, unlike his wife. But if one looked at their inner qualities, Erica realized that the situation was just the opposite. Niclas ought to be thanking his lucky stars. Charlotte was a loving, wise, gentle human being and as soon as Erica managed to pull herself out of this listless state, she was going to do everything she could to make Charlotte realize her own strong points. Unfortunately, at the moment, Erica had no energy to do more than ponder her friend’s situation.
A couple of hours later darkness had fallen, and the storm had reached full force outside her window. Erica saw by the clock that she must have dozed off for an hour or two with Maja, who was using her breast as a dummy. She was just about to reach for the phone to ring Charlotte when she heard the front door open.
‘Hello?’ she called. Patrik wasn’t due home for an hour or two, so perhaps it was Charlotte finally showing up.
‘It’s me.’ Patrik’s voice had an empty sound to it, and Erica was instantly uneasy.
When he entered the living room she was even more concerned. His face was grey, and his eyes had a dead expression that didn’t vanish until he caught sight of Maja, still asleep in Erica’s arms. With two long strides he came over to them, and before Erica could react he had swept up the sleeping baby, pressing her hard to his chest. He didn’t even stop when Maja woke up from the shock of being picked up so abruptly and started shrieking as loud as she could.
‘What are you doing? You’re scaring Maja!’
Erica tried to take the screaming baby from Patrik to calm her down, but he fended off her attempt and just hugged the infant even harder. Maja was now screaming hysterically, and for lack of any better idea Erica slapped him on the arm and said, ‘Stop that! What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see that she’s terrified?’
Then Patrik seemed to snap out of it. He cast a confused look at his daughter, who was bright red in the face from anger and fright.
‘Sorry.’ He handed Maja over to Erica, who did her best to soothe the baby. After a few minutes she succeeded, and Maja’s screams gave way to low sobbing. Erica looked at Patrik, who had sat down on the sofa and was staring out at the storm.
‘What’s happened, Patrik?’ said Erica, now in a kinder tone. She couldn’t prevent a hint of uneasiness from creeping into her voice.
‘We got a report of a drowned child today. From here in Fjällbacka. Martin and I took the call.’ He paused, unable to go on.
‘Oh my God, what happened? Who was it?’
Then her thoughts began whirling until they all fell into place at once, like tiny puzzle pieces.
‘Oh my God,’ she repeated. ‘It’s Sara, isn’t it? Charlotte was supposed to come over for coffee this afternoon, but she never showed up and there was no answer when I rang her at home. That’s it, isn’t it? It was Sara you found, right?’
Patrik could only nod. Erica sank into the easy chair to prevent her legs from buckling under her. Before her she could see Sara jumping on their living room sofa as recently as two days ago. With her long red hair flying about her head and laughter bubbling up inside her like an unstoppable primal force.
‘Oh my God,’ Erica said again, putting her hand to her mouth as she felt her heart sink like a stone to her stomach. Patrik just stared out of the window, and she saw in profile his jaw clenching tight.
‘It was so horrible, Erica. I haven’t seen Sara that many times, but seeing her lying there in that boat, totally lifeless … I kept picturing Maja in my mind. Since then my thoughts have been churning round in my head. I can’t stop imagining if something like that happened to Maja. And then having to tell Charlotte what happened …’
Erica uttered a whimpering, tormented sound. She had no words to describe the depth of the sympathy she felt for Charlotte, and Niclas too. She understood