“Oh, hi,” started Kate, clearing her throat. “I’m calling about the advert?”
“Which advert?” came the cold reply.
As I expected, thought Kate, her heart sinking – the email must be just one of many ads sent out by an agency.
“Oh, sorry – the email about ‘Stop the world and get off’ and the identity exchange,” Kate clarified. Almost before she had finished speaking, the person at the other end cut in, this time in much warmer tones.
“Of course! Sorry if I sounded abrupt – I get so many cold marketing calls, don’t you? I try and field them as best I can. And then of course I forget that now I’ve put out an advert myself the shoe’s on the other foot!” A torrent of words came down the phone. Kate relaxed. This did not sound like the expert patter of a salesperson. Kate let her continue.
“So I take it you’re interested, then?” asked Anna.
“Well, maybe, but I just wanted to get a bit more information, if I can? The ad didn’t really give that much away,” replied Kate, reminding herself that she was in control.
“Yeah, of course. I don’t want to be sending total strangers my ideas for my PhD! I just wanted to get the right people to call.”
Kate laughed. “Well, here I am!”
“And you’ve no idea how pleased I am about that. So – let me tell you all about it. The basic idea is that you live in my flat near Camden and take over my life there for three or four months. At the same time I would come and try to live your life, as you, wherever you are now. Work, hobbies, love-life et cetera, et cetera – what’s mine is yours, and vice versa. I won’t bore you with the details of the thesis but broadly speaking it’s about the interrelation between property, pursuits and identity – blah, blah, blah. We can have a debrief at the end and see where we’ve got to. Then I get the hard work of actually writing it up!” Anna paused at the end of this obviously rehearsed spiel to take a much-needed breath. “You do have a property to exchange, don’t you?” she asked.
“Yes, up in Northumberland – we’ve been living in Dad’s cottage up here but he’s, um, well he’s just died. “ Kate’s voice tremored and there came a sympathetic murmuring on the other end of the line. Kate carried on, trying to keep her voice even. “We’ve got a house in Portsmouth but we’re renting that out as a monthly let at the moment. It’s a bit remote up here,” she apologised. “It would be a far cry from London.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” reassured Anna. “I have been outside London, you know – I went to uni in Nottingham. The more remote it is the more I can really embrace the minutiae of what it is to be you. Your husband’s away at the moment then, is he?”
Kate frowned.
“I don’t think I said I had a husband,” she challenged.
There was a slight pause.
“No, no you didn’t. I confess: I’ve been doing a bit of digging on the internet. All your social networking site profiles are public, so I had a look. Bit stalkerish, I know, but I wanted to make sure I only sent emails to people who might be worthwhile.” Anna paused again.
Kate blushed. Of course, she should have realised that if this was a genuine project, Anna wouldn’t be picking names out of a phone book. Her friends had chastised her for not using on-line privacy settings properly. But nobody could steal her identity by just accessing her public thoughts, right?
“Yes, my husband’s away,” Kate acknowledged. “He’s in the Navy, as you may have gathered. He’s due to be gone for about three months. That’s partly why I’m thinking of doing this, to be honest.”
“It must get a bit lonely?” asked Anna.
“Oh, you know, I get by. How about you? You mentioned swapping love-lives – I can’t quite see how that would work. Are you actually seeing anyone at the moment?” queried Kate, adroitly turning the focus of questioning back to Anna. Four years of marriage had taught her she didn’t miss Neil any less by talking about it – and how to divert questions by friends, family and often passing acquaintances. Besides, she wanted to know about Anna’s romantic arrangements and the part she was expected to play – she didn’t want to stumble inadvertently into some kind of swingers’ club.
“There was somebody. But it didn’t work out. It was a shame. I thought he was the one.” Anna sounded wistful, but then caught herself and continued breezily. “Still, his loss really – sure he wouldn’t make that mistake again if he had the choice! There’s nothing doing at the moment, but I’m working on the internet dating so who knows, by the time we set this up you could be in business!”
Kate laughed, pleased the conversation had taken on a lighter tone again. “No worries – I’m a happily married woman!”
“Of course you are. So let’s move on. What else do you want to know?”
Kate considered. She didn’t really seem to have learnt much beyond the thesis (which, frankly, sounded a bit thin, but that wasn’t her problem) and the flat in Camden.
“You said you’re a PhD student. Doesn’t that mean you’ve got students to teach? Surely I’m not expected to do that?” she asked. If she was going to have to take on a job that required her to become postgraduate level in whatever social science it was that Anna specialised in, she might as well forget about this experiment now.
“No, don’t worry,” soothed Anna. “I’ve been allowed a special dispensation because of this project. I’m just doing some freelance proofreading to keep me in funds. You can easily fill in for me – I just get sent whatever they need me to work on, nothing specialist.”
Kate nodded to herself. She could do that. Years of study had made her a quick and precise reader. Besides, it sounded like a fair swap. “That sounds ideal,” she said. “I’m a solicitor, but because of my dad being ill I’ve just been working up here on editing a book on commercial leases,” she explained. Kate suddenly became conscious of what she was suggesting. The firm would be furious if they knew that she was contemplating handing over her responsibilities, not to mention their intellectual property, to a comparative stranger. And what if the firm wanted her to do other work, back in Portsmouth? She wasn’t sure she could stretch the book task out for three months. And even if she could, would Anna be able to do it? Thinking aloud, Kate added, “I say editing, but it’s mostly proofreading and sense-checking at this stage.”
“That sounds manageable,” Anna confirmed. “Look, I know the work side of things is a real concern for people, but don’t worry – we can sort that out.”
“I’ve got professional duties, you know?” Kate continued. “I wouldn’t be able to give you any client access or anything.”
“Oh, of course, I wouldn’t think of it!” Anna exclaimed. “The last thing I want to do is get anyone struck off! But it sounds like work isn’t top of your list of priorities at the moment – so do you think you can still pursue this?”
Kate chewed on her bottom lip. All the work concerns were very real. But she did not want to lose her chance on this swap by sounding as if she had gone cold.
As if reading her thoughts, Anna continued, “Of course, it would be a shame for me if you think you can’t do it – I’ve had a fair few other enquiries and I’m meeting people next week. I’m keen to get something finalised fairly quickly – I’m sure you understand.”
Kate quashed her concerns. “Who said I couldn’t do it?” she countered. “Meeting up sounds like a great idea.”
“Excellent!” said Anna, sounding relieved. “I’m having one-to-one sessions with people at the flat – that way you get to see where you would be living. I’ll fill you in on other details face to face – like the drama class I’m enrolled in.”
“That