I broke the cupcake in half and handed him his half. Within five seconds, he’d devoured it. I finished mine off pretty quickly and after tossing the box in a nearby trash can, I took a deep breath. ‘You didn’t come here just to give me a cupcake, right?’
‘Ah, no.’
‘What … what are you doing here, Jase?’
He didn’t answer immediately, but when his gray gaze settled on me, his eyes were surprisingly sharp. ‘I want to talk to you.’
‘That much I got, but I think you said everything you wanted to say already, and you showing up here is the last thing I expected.’ I felt like a bitch for throwing it out there like that, but it was true. And he sort of deserved it. I was no one’s doormat.
Jase looked away as his shoulders tensed, then he came forward and sat down beside me. The smell of alcohol was faint as he looked at me. Without saying a word, he reached over and plucked up my free hand. My eyes widened as he lifted my hand, turned it over, and placed a kiss against my palm.
Yep. He was drunk.
And my skin tingled from where his lips had met, like an electrical jolt. Speechless, I watched him lower my hand back to my lap.
‘I’m a jackass,’ he said.
I blinked slowly.
‘I shouldn’t have said the shit that I said to you earlier. It wasn’t right and I was lying.’ He took a deep breath, shifting his gaze to the empty bench across from us. ‘I wasn’t drunk that night. I was far from it.’
My heart had begun pounding from the moment he kissed my hand and went up a degree as he spoke, and my voice was barely above a whisper. ‘I know.’
‘And I really didn’t think you’d assume it meant anything because you had a crush on me or whatever.’ One side of his lips tipped up again, but he had been right on that aspect. The kiss had meant everything to me. ‘I just … I shouldn’t have kissed you that night—touched you. Not because it was gross or any of that shit, but because you’re Cam’s little sister. You’re untouchable.’
As I stared at him, the butterfly moved from my chest to my stomach. Was that Jase’s problem? He felt bad because Cam was his friend. Seriously? Part of me wanted to smack him upside the head. The other part of me wanted to crawl into his lap, because if that was his big hang-up, we could work with that. Couldn’t we? Or did it matter?
But I just sat there, staring at him like I had all those times he’d come to visit Cam. If I started giggling, I was going to punch myself in the face.
‘The moment … it had gotten away from me that night, Tess. You … you are a beautiful girl. Always have been and, goddamnit, that hasn’t changed.’
He thought I was beautiful—wait. The moment had gotten away from him? Torn between being elated and insulted, I shook my head.
‘Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.’ He glanced over at me, half of his face shadowed. ‘And if you think I’m the biggest jackass out there, I completely understand.’
What he had said earlier still stung like I’d kicked a nest full of hornets, but what he was saying now soothed a little of the burn. ‘I don’t think that.’
Jase stilled for a moment and then he twisted toward me, his head cocking to the side again. Our eyes locked, and I found that I couldn’t look away. ‘You’re still so … sweet.’
Sweet? I resisted the urge to spit on the ground. Of course Jase thought I was sweet and nice and as innocent and cuddly as an old, raggedy teddy bear. Not exactly how I wanted him to see me.
He broke eye contact first, and the air leaked out of my lungs. Wetting my lips, I ran the edge of my key card over the soft flannel of my jammie bottoms. ‘So you decided to come over in the middle of the night to tell me this?’
‘It’s not exactly the middle of the night,’ he said, smiling slightly. ‘More like early late night.’
My brows rose. ‘That doesn’t make much sense.’
‘If you drank half of an eighteen-pack, it just might.’
I pursed my lips, remembering he was more than just a little buzzed. ‘Why didn’t you just wait until, I don’t know, you were sober and the sun was out to have this conversation?’
‘I couldn’t wait,’ he said without a moment of hesitation, so quickly that there was no doubting how important it was to him. ‘And the party sucked.’
‘It did?’ For some reason, I couldn’t picture the big luau sucking that much.
Jase nodded and his brows lowered, furrowing together. ‘This … this has been banging around in my head. Tried to drink it out. Didn’t work. Decided I needed to tell you before I developed a mean case of alcohol poisoning.’
So the party hadn’t really sucked, but more of a case of him feeling guilty enough to seek me out. I didn’t know what to think about that or any of this. I’d obsessed over him and was convinced at one point that I was madly, deeply in love with him. And the night when he’d kissed me, I thought … well, I thought a lot of stupid things. That he would wake up the next morning and profess his undying love and devotion to me in front of baby Jesus and my entire family. And everyone would be thrilled by the prospect, even Cam. That somehow a relationship between a senior in high school and a college junior could work. Jase would visit me instead of my brother every weekend and he would come to my dance recitals and visit me in New York City when I left for the ballet school and …
And none of that happened.
Jase and Cam had left that next morning before I even woke up, and I hadn’t seen him up until I started school at Shepherd. At some point during that last year, I’d thought I’d come to terms with Jase, chalked it up to stupid, naive fantasies, and even dated a time or two, but I’d been really off about all this. I hadn’t come to terms. Obviously. And seeing Jase, being near him, made me remember everything that had drawn me to him—his kindness, humor, intelligence. And even if some of those qualities weren’t so apparent now, I knew they were still there. The fact that it was after one in the morning and he hunted me down to apologize was proof of that.
He leaned back, stretching out his long legs. ‘Tess … Tess … Tess …’
‘What?’ I forced my gaze back to him after staring at a square hedge for far too long.
Jase was watching me again, the look on his face completely unreadable. His eyes were so bright now, almost silver, as his gaze dipped. He made a sound deep in his throat, half curse and half groan. I didn’t understand it. My attention followed his, and I drew in a shaky, surprised breath.
That was about when I realized I wasn’t wearing a bra, and the cooler night air and thin tank top did nothing to hide what I had going on.
And right at that moment, I had a lot going on.
My nipples were hard, pressing against the material. Heat swamped my cheeks and I started to fold my arms, but then it struck me that Jase was looking, like really looking. And for someone who claimed that ‘the moment’ got away from him …
Wait. He was drunk right now.
I folded my arms over my chest. ‘What?’ I demanded again.
He dragged his burning gaze up, and I swore it had lingered over my lips. ‘Why did you come here? To this place?’
The question caught me off guard, and so did the way he asked it, like he’d never in a million years expected me to be here, at the same college as him. ‘I … my leg …’ Couldn’t I speak in complete sentences? A soft wind picked up, tossing my hair around. ‘I didn’t know what else to do.’
‘You never planned on doing the college thing, right?’
‘No.