‘Sounds like some of the local women as well,’ Venus said wryly.
‘Yeah, I saw that YouTube of the woman throwing a tantrum at the airport too,’ I said.
We were interrupted by a woman loudly arguing with the waiter about the items on her bill, and shared a smile.
I finished my coffee, caught a waiter’s eye and drew a circle in the air to indicate that I wanted the bill. He nodded and turned away to retrieve it.
‘Nothing else exciting happening?’ I said. ‘Sounds like things are reasonably under control for a change.’
‘The Demon King still tries us, but for some reason his attempts lately have been half-hearted,’ Venus said. ‘Oh! Er Lang.’
I sagged over the table, picked up my fork and drew circles in the remains of my cheesecake with it. ‘Tell me the worst.’
‘He has once again petitioned the Celestial to have you removed from your post, citing lack of competence.’
I shrugged. ‘Situation normal then.’
‘Don’t be concerned, Emma, the Celestial supports your efforts. The recent rejuvenation of the Northern Heavens is a demonstration of your suitability for the role. Remember, if the Kingdom flourishes, it indicates that the sovereign is worthy.’
‘Martin and Yue Gui should be running the place in name as well as reality,’ I said. ‘They do all the work and I’m the one getting the credit; it’s wrong.’
‘That is the way it should be. You are the supreme ruler, and they manage the day-to-day affairs for you. The generals have been freed from the more tedious administrative tasks and can concentrate on defending the Heavens, which is probably why the Demon King has slowed his efforts. It is an excellent result all around.’
‘I’d just like to know which demon it was that gave Yue Gui to me in the first place,’ I said. ‘It could have been Six, hoping to plant a spy, or another demon trying to undermine Six’s efforts by telling us about the nest under Golden Arcade.’
‘I’d say most likely it was either the Death Mother or the Geek, using one of Six’s stone-implanted Shen as a spy and at the same time undermining Six’s own empire. You can ask them yourself when you catch them.’
The waiter brought the bill and I pulled out my wallet to pay.
Venus knew better than to give me grief about the bill. ‘My turn to pay next time.’
I nodded. ‘Remind me before we order so I can get something extremely expensive.’
‘I will,’ he said. After the waiter had left he turned around to his bodyguards and nodded. ‘We’re done.’
One of the bodyguards rose and came to us. He stood fidgeting for a moment, then said, ‘Lady Emma, ma’am, I have heard very much about you from Lord Venus. May I ask you a question?’
‘Sure, go ahead,’ I said.
The waiter came with the folder containing the receipt and my credit card, and I nodded and removed them.
‘Do you give private tuition, ma’am?’ the bodyguard said. ‘My skills are weak with sword, polearm and spear. My broadsword is terrible, and I completely fail at chain staff —’
‘You exaggerate; your martial arts skills are the match of anyone,’ Venus said amiably.
The waiter stared at us.
‘Would you teach me, ma’am?’ the bodyguard said. ‘Could I come down to the Academy and learn from you?’
‘There are plenty of instructors at the Academy who are better than me,’ I said. ‘Venus has my secretary’s number; just give her a call and she’ll arrange something for you.’
The bodyguard fell to one knee and then rose again, to the bemused stares of nearby diners. ‘I would appreciate it if you could spare some of your own time, ma’am.’
‘Let me see what I can work out,’ I said. ‘I really am too busy to take on private students.’
The bodyguard nodded, grinning broadly. ‘Thank you, ma’am!’
‘Did you just ask this gweipoh for private tuition in martial arts?’ the waiter asked the bodyguard in Cantonese.
‘Yes,’ the bodyguard said. ‘She is the best!’
‘I’m not the best, and you know it,’ I said. ‘There are many, many better than me.’
‘Have you been in any famous movies, ma’am?’ the waiter said.
‘Not a single one,’ I said. ‘I’m just a teacher. Nothing special.’
‘A foreign woman who teaches martial arts is something special,’ the waiter said with humour. He bowed to me. ‘My name is Jimmy, ask for me next time you come.’
‘I’ll be sure to,’ I lied.
I rose and Venus did as well, and we shook hands. ‘Lovely to catch up with you, Venus. I’ll have my people arrange something next month; sooner if something major turns up.’
Venus bowed slightly to me. ‘My pleasure, ma’am. You’d better hurry and go rescue poor Leo.’
I picked up my bag. ‘Poor little Leo. Scared of the big bad bank.’
CHAPTER 2
I took the escalators from the enormous open area under the bank building up two storeys to the general banking hall. Leo was parked in his wheelchair next to one of the flat, square leather waiting seats, holding a stack of papers in his lap.
I sat on the chair facing him. ‘What’s it all about?’
‘They say I can’t open an account without proof of residence.’ He waved his documents. ‘These are all in your name. I have nothing that shows that I live here.’
‘Stone, can you do something about this?’ I said.
‘Let me talk to Lok about it,’ the stone said.
‘I forgot how annoying the racism here can be,’ Leo said irritably. ‘The teller took one look at me and frowned. Then, when I started talking to her, she actually turned away.’
‘It might be the speech impediment too, mate, it makes you a bit hard to understand the first time.’
‘Bah. Do you have any idea how much concentration it takes to get rid of that?’
‘Enough that it’s not worth it and people will have to learn to deal.’
‘Pain in the ass.’
‘I have some documents for you; I’ve put them into Emma’s bag,’ the stone said.
I opened my tote and pulled out some freshly printed and folded papers: electricity, gas and phone bills for one of the apartments at the Old Folly, all in Leo’s name and backdated six months. I scrunched the documents a few times to make them appear older, then handed them to Leo. ‘Here you go.’
He flipped through them and nodded. ‘Okay, let’s try this.’
He turned in the wheelchair and rejoined the