“So having empathy and compassion makes me a social worker? I mean, call me crazy, but shouldn’t having those things be kind of a prerequisite if you’re going to be pointing a gun at someone?” I know I’m speaking out of turn, but I’m getting fed up. He’s not the one fighting. He sits on his ass all day while I put mine on the line. Besides, look what they did to us. What a hypocrite. I might not have lost my home, but I lost any chance at a normal life when I was seven years old. Don’t they get that? That we could be just as dangerous, if not more so, than any Immigrant, for practically the same reason?
“Possibly. The only thing I know for sure is that we can never, ever trust them. Period,” Applebaum says flatly.
“We trust the Roones,” I snap back.
“They’re different. I don’t even think they are capable of feeling hate, or actually anything for that matter. And they saved us,” he says quickly.
I finally look at him. “So says the guy without a chip in his skull.”
Applebaum smiles smugly and leans back in his chair, holding his arms out in front of him and gripping his desk. “You’re young. I always forget that about you kids. You fight so well—and don’t get me wrong; you all do an excellent job—but it’s always a bit like playing soldiers, isn’t it? What’s that thing the nerds do? Larp? Larping? It’s like that. No real discipline.” He shakes his head and closes his eyes. For a brief moment I imagine punching a hole right through his chest. I imagine taking one of his hands and pulling it all the way back, breaking the bone so that it sticks out from his wrist. The fact that I don’t disproves his theory of discipline. Even so, I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing how his truly offensive words have stung me. I will not let him dismiss me as a sulky teenager.
“Will that be all, sir?” I ask in a passive voice.
“Don’t let it happen again, Ryn. You’re the team leader for a reason. Boone’s a clown, Violet is a ballerina, and Henry is coiled so tight I think he might be one mission away from going postal. You’re the only one with any sense. Or at least that’s what I thought until yesterday. Don’t disappoint me again.”
I refuse to say anything. I know he’s pushing me, though I can’t imagine what reason he has for doing so. My own family can’t get a reaction out of me—and I want to be around them. This guy is getting nothing from me.
After another couple of seconds, he sighs and tells me to go.
I meet the rest of the team at transport to The Rift site. The site is about a mile away, down a graveled road through the forest. We say very little in the car because there are just normal troops accompanying us and we prefer to keep our distance from them. We understand that the things we say get reported back to Command and then to ARC. We’re on the same team, but at the same time, we’re not. No one trusts anyone here, and either way, I’m happy for the silence.
Today we are working up in one of the seven Nests above ground, in the tree line. The Nests surround The Rift and serve as both lookouts and vantage points for sharpshooting, if it comes to that. The four of us easily scale the rope ladder that leads up to a wood platform suspended in a huge sequoia tree. There are provisions here—water and emergency rations—but no bathrooms. The boys will often piss in empty bottles. The girls have gotten good at holding it until the shift is over in four hours.
Nothing like a little institutional sexism to remind us we’re in the military.
Omega Team is at the rock on lookout. We really just have to check in and make sure Command knows we’re here if needed. I ask the team to make sure their earpieces are functioning and then we disable the mics so we can talk without being overheard.
“So, did Applebaum cut you a new one this morning?” Boone asks, wasting no time. Before I can even answer he goes off again. “He’s an ass. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ryn,” Boone assures me.
“You really didn’t,” Vi adds.
I lean back against a wooden slat in the platform. “I shouldn’t have gone in alone. Without a weapon. It wasn’t the smartest move,” I confess.
“It wasn’t,” Henry says through clenched teeth.
Violet places a hand on my arm. “Oh, please. He was young and cute. It’s bad enough that he ended up here. He didn’t need a bunch of us ambushing him.”
I have to smile at her optimism.
Henry pulls a few pine needles off a close branch and throws them down from the Nest. “He could have been dangerous. You gambled. It worked out okay, but it might not have.”
“Stop being such a hard-ass all the time, Henry,” Boone says. “It’s boring. I think I might have a coronary if you ever cracked a joke.” Of course, Boone’s sarcasm does not play well with Henry. Henry is wound tight. Applebaum hadn’t gotten that wrong. At six four, he is the biggest of us. His mom is Korean and his dad is Native American. He’d probably be the total package if you didn’t have to go on such a search-and-rescue mission for his personality. The thing about Henry, other than the fact that he’s a superb soldier, is that he is loyal as anything. He’s taken a bullet for me more than once, multiple punches, and even a knife wound. Whether we are at work or hanging out, he is always just there. I love him. I love his quiet strength and the little things he does to show he cares about us—things that Boone is too clueless to pick up on.
“Knock it off, Boone. It was fine with Applebaum, but to be honest I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine.” Vi tries to negotiate. “We’ll leave Applebaum out of it if you tell us why you went out there alone. I meant to ask yesterday, but you went home so fast.”
“Whoa, what’s with all the questions?” I snap. “It seemed like the right thing to do. That’s it. No agenda. I just said I didn’t want to talk about it. God.” My teammates look at each other with raised eyebrows.
“It’s okay to think someone is cute,” Violet says softly. “It’s okay to be attracted to someone, to have feelings for someone even if they come through The Rift.”
At that, I have to laugh. I look at her, my eyes widening. “Are you crazy? It’s not okay to be attracted to anyone. Because obviously, thanks to ARC, we’re mature enough to save the world but not mature enough to keep our hormones in check.” Without thinking, I pick up my arms and start doing a weird version of jazz hands while talking in an absurdly low voice. “Hey, I’m ARC,” I blurt out sarcastically. “We’re going to make you superstrong and superfast and supersmart but not smart enough!” I’m off on a tangent now. I see Henry sigh. “You might check for a text from your boyfriend while you’re fighting for your life, so we’re just going to put this little glitch in your implant that turns you into a maniac if you touch anyone you might be remotely attracted to. Not so much as a little, teeny-tiny, even-Catholics-would-approve-of-it hug. Nope, sorry! No sex for you! Ever!”
“You didn’t need to go straight to the Blood Lust, Ryn,” Violet says with an undeniable hint of sadness. “It’s a long way from liking the way someone looks, and maybe even crushing on them a bit, to activating that part of the chip’s programming. It’s not like we have no control.”
I look up to the sky and shake my head. “Oh, well, I know that,” I spit back meanly. “Look at you and Boone. You guys have been in love with each other since we were fourteen and you two haven’t killed each other.” This is common knowledge, but we never speak it. The fact that we are all just the best of friends, like family—that is another lie. “It’s easy, right? As long as you guys don’t touch each other or even brush up against one another. Unless you’re fighting. We can always fight. They made damn sure of that.”
“Shut up, Ryn,” Boone shoots back, clearly wounded.
“And what about poor Henry?” I continue even as Henry shoots me a death stare. “He’s gay. I mean, seriously, he’s like every