To my big sister, Jackie.
For our adventures along the river.
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In the Black corner...
In the Brown corner...
“See you tomorrow, Sooty!” yelled Woody Brown as his furry black friend reached the other side of the river and clambered on to the grassy bank.
“See you tomorrow, Woody!” Sooty Black yelled back, waving both arms at his furry brown friend. Then Sooty dashed along the water’s edge and vanished into the roots of an overhanging tree that concealed his family den.
A tangle of twigs and branches marked the entrance to Woody Brown’s riverside home. Woody dived below the waterline with a tail splash, whooshed through the tunnel entrance and clambered up into a cavern lined with mud, twigs and moss.
The world above had been serene, with humming insects and busy buzzing bees, but down in the den there was a rollicking riot of otter activity!
“What’s going on?” gasped Woody, trying not to get flattened as his entire family scampered out of three narrow tunnels and squeezed into the central chamber. But the only replies he got were an “OUCH!” and an “EEEK!” and an “OI! GET OFF MY HEAD!”
It seemed Papa Brown had summoned everyone for an emergency meeting. This meant three generations of the Brown family had to cram themselves into a very small space and no one had the faintest idea why. Papa did a quick headcount of nine, including his own, and then wriggled through the furry throng and flapped his paws for everyone to be quiet.
“Big families are brilliant!” he said cheerfully, which was met with a wave of groans and grumbles from the tangle of hot, squashed otters. “But I think we can all agree that, living in this tiny den together, things can get a little… er… heated…’
“Do get to the point, dear,” said Mama Brown, fanning Grandma Maple and Grandpa Bruno with her tail. “Or soon there will be two fewer otters to hear your fabulous news.”
“Yes, of course,” said Papa, swiftly trimming a long-winded speech about big families in his head. “When I left the den this morning I thought today would be an ordinary day of fishing and floating and cracking clams on my furry belly. Little did I know that fate had other ideas…”
“An even shorter version than that, my love,” sighed Mama.
“Yes, dear,” said Papa, cutting his dramatic build-up down to the bare essentials. “I was swimming upstream, heading for my usual fishing spot, when I suddenly saw—”
“Oi! Get your tail off my tail!” snapped Nutmeg, prodding her twin brother in the chest.
“It’s not my tail, it must be your tail!” snapped Chestnut, prodding his sister back.
“Actually, I think that’s my tail,” whispered Beanie, wiggling the end of it just to make sure. Beanie was younger than the twins and a little older than Woody. She preferred snacking to swimming and daydreaming to diving, which meant she still had most of her puppy fat.
“That’s one enormous tail!” chuckled the twins.
“Oh, never mind roly-poly Beanie and her chubby club,” scoffed Coco, frantically licking her paws and smoothing them over her head. “My fur is frizzing up in this humid hole!”
“Don’t be so mean to Beanie,” said Woody, standing up for his shy sister, even though Coco was the biggest and he was the smallest. “At least she isn’t a frizzy-furred old stinky bottom!”
“HA! HA!” laughed Chestnut and Nutmeg.
“Ooo, you little…!” shrieked Coco, lunging for her little brother, which proved difficult to do in such a tight space, so she ended up on top of everyone.
The young otters all began squabbling, which they often did, having spent their whole lives sharing one small chamber between the five of them. And they were squabbling so ferociously they missed Papa’s big news. He pressed his paws either side of his whiskers and yelled it again at the top of his voice.
“WE’RE MOVING HOME!” he boomed.
Grandma Maple and Grandpa Bruno snapped awake, while Woody, Beanie, Nutmeg, Chestnut and Coco fell silent for a whole two seconds before they all leapt forward to ask the same question.
“Can I have my own room?” they pleaded. “PLEEEEEEASSSE!”
“Yes,” smiled Papa Brown. “You may have your own chamber.”
“Who?” asked Beanie and Woody, wondering which of their siblings they would no longer have to share with. “Who’s getting their own room?”
“I should get it!” said Chestnut. “Nutmeg snores!”
“I should get it!” said Nutmeg. “Chestnut farts!”
“I should get it!” demanded Coco. “I’m the eldest and by far the prettiest!”
“Actually, all five of you will have your own chambers,” Papa smiled proudly. “And there will be one for me