I pressed a shaky kiss to the side of his cheek instead, breathing in his crisp scent, feeling the rasp of stubble from a few whiskers he’d missed shaving this morning in front of his ear.
“No matter how much I love you, no matter how much I wish I could change what I am, I can’t. And neither can you. Sometimes love doesn’t conquer all. Sometimes we just have to let go. The Clann and the council, they just want to keep us safe from each other. Listen to them. Help me keep my promise to them. Let this go.”
Let me go.
Help me find a way to let you go.
Help me rip out my own heart here, I might as well have said.
CHAPTER 5
TRISTAN
Red strands of her hair tickled my cheeks, their lavender scent filling my nose and adding to the buzz in my head. Did she have any idea how much she wrecked my mind, my control? How much I’d missed even the scent of her perfume all last week? How, even now, without any power to stop her or protect myself, I was still happier than I’d ever been?
When I was around her, my world made sense. I knew who I was. I’d never known what I’d wanted out of life before her, other than to play pro football. I’d drifted through each day, doing exactly what my parents expected of me. I’d dated other girls. A lot of them. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, they’d all made me feel the same…nothing more than casual friendship. They were great to hang out with, but none had ever made me wonder what they were thinking or doing when we were apart. I never wondered how they were getting along with their parents. I never worried that no one else recognized how amazing they truly were. I didn’t miss them when I couldn’t talk to them, and I hadn’t been torn to pieces when I stopped dating them.
I’d never needed any girl like I needed Savannah.
Sluggish as my thoughts had become, I heard the goodbye in her voice, in her words, saw it in her tear-filled eyes. She was letting me go.
I had to stop her.
She turned away, dragging a sleeve across her cheeks as she left the office and headed down the hallway toward the back stairs that led to the stage.
I struggled to my feet. My legs didn’t want to work, but I forced them to move. I caught up with her halfway down the hall. “Turn me.”
She stopped so suddenly I had to grab the wall to keep from running over her. She looked at me over her shoulder, her eyes pale silver now and round with shock. Then she was on the move again. “I can’t.”
“Think about it, Sav. If I was a vamp, we wouldn’t have any problems, would we? You couldn’t drain me, and the vamps and Clann wouldn’t have to worry about protecting their peace treaty.” And my parents wouldn’t have an excuse to keep us apart anymore, either.
“There’s a reason I’m the first known dhampir of our kinds, Tristan. Descendants’ bodies reject vamp blood. Every descendant who has ever attempted to turn died.”
“So they claim. But when’s the last time anyone actually tried it? I’m willing to risk it. There’s got to be a spell to help the process or—”
“No way. I’m not risking your life.” Backstage now in the pitch black of the wings, I heard her set down the portable sound system with a thud. Metal clanged as she opened the fuse box on the wall, probably using her vamp eyesight to see in the dark. The stage lights came on.
“I could find another vampire to help me.”
“No, you can’t. Everyone knows who you are. No vamp would go against the council like that.” She slammed the fuse box door shut, the sound echoing in the empty wings. Then she took the portable sound system out to the front corner of the stage, crouching down in the shadows beyond the reach of the overhead stage lights in order to set up the music in the jambox.
I squatted in the shadows beside her as I always did during sound system setup, our knees touching, her arm brushing mine as she worked. In the beginning last fall, I’d done it to try to get her to recognize her feelings for me. That had been before she’d known even kissing me could be a problem. Back when all I’d needed to do was get her to admit she was falling for me.
Now we knew what we felt for each other, and it still wasn’t enough. Not as long as my parents, the Clann and the vamp council were determined to keep us apart.
“What if I got everyone to change their minds about us?” I had no idea how I could pull that off. But there had to be a way.
She looked at me, her still watery eyes filled with a flash of hope that squeezed my insides like a vise. “How?”
I didn’t have an answer yet. But I would, no matter what it took. “I’ll find a way.”
“Mr. Coleman, what are you doing here?” Mrs. Daniels called out as she entered the theater through the audience area doors. “I don’t believe you’re supposed to be helping us anymore.”
Great, just what I needed. “That’s a misunderstanding—”
“I don’t think so. I spoke with your parents last week. Their intentions were very clear.” Mrs. Daniels took her usual seat in the back row.
Savannah quickly wiped her face dry then went back to working on the sound system. Obviously she would be no help here.
I jumped off the stage and strode up the aisle to Mrs. Daniels’s row. The woman’s gaze was every bit as frosty as Savannah’s when she was trying to shut someone out.
“Ma’am, I still want to help out with the team,” I insisted, trying my most charming smile on her. It always worked on the teachers and the ladies in the front office.
One blond eyebrow arched. “No one stays on the team in any capacity without their parents’ consent, not even volunteers on the stage crew. School rules. You’ll have to take it up with your parents if you want to help us out again. Until then, I’ll have to ask you to go to the front office, where you’ve been reassigned as an office aide for your first periods from now on.” She flipped a page on her clipboard, silently dismissing me.
Great. Now how was I supposed to talk to Savannah, be with her at all, without the Clann seeing? The only class we had together was history every other day with Mr. Smythe, Dylan Williams and the Brat Twins…four descendants who would be extra vigilant in spying on us now.
I glanced back at Savannah. Her shoulders hunched in response, but she refused to look up.
Fine. Savannah had made herself clear. Until I found a way to change the rules, she wouldn’t see me, and there would be no point in arguing with Mrs. Daniels.
But Savannah was wrong if she thought I’d given up on us. I would find a way to change the rules. Somehow.
SAVANNAH
My friends fell silent as I joined them at our usual table in the cafeteria on my first day back at school. I wasn’t hungry, but I’d skipped breakfast, so I’d grabbed a bag of chips and a Coke. And tried to ignore the ache that being within a hundred yards of Tristan always caused. Usually he sat outside at a tree during lunch. Today he was sitting by his sister at the Clann table and staring at me.
In the silence, my chip bag cracked like a gunshot as I tore it open. But I’d pulled too hard. The bag ripped in half, exploding harvest-cheddar-flavored chips all over my lap and the table in front of me.
I sighed. “Good thing I wasn’t hungry.”
“Sav…” Anne began, and I cringed at the hesitant sympathy in her voice. I knew what was coming. Most of the Charmers and Mrs. Daniels had all used that same tone of voice to offer their condolences about my grandmother earlier this morning.
I looked up, found all three of my friends staring at me with drawn, sympathetic faces. I held up a hand. “I know y’all are probably worried about me. And I appreciate it, really I