Outside, Lo stares at me with the ever-present smirk on his face. His eyes, so vulnerable before, are now unreadable. The furrow speeds across my brow and is gone before I can process why his moodiness is even a blip on my radar. I don’t care.
A twinge of something slices through me as I think of all the tragedy in his life, but I’m not here to fix anyone, especially boys who obviously don’t want to be fixed. And I’m sure he’d be pissed if he knew that I’d looked at his file.
Guilt stabs me and I stare at him, inexplicably annoyed. “So...after you’re done, I have to, um, show you around later.”
Lo laughs, the sound of it rich and deep, and crinkling the outer corners of his eyes. The smile softens his entire face, transforming it from sharp to almost pleasant. I pretend not to notice. “Whoa, try not to sound so ecstatic! New-kid babysitter, the job you’ve always wanted.”
I can’t help but return the smile at his sarcastic comment. “Well, I don’t like to boast but they do call me the new-kid whisperer.”
“That must be pretty special.”
“So special,” I say with an exaggerated eye roll.
As we stare at each other with tentative smiles on our faces and laughter in our eyes, something strange flowers in the middle of my chest. It feels like a glimmer, only more tangible with its butterfly touches extending along my arms and legs, as if everything inside of me is responding to someone else’s glimmer call.
It’s not like I haven’t crushed on boys before, but this feels different than any of the other times. The unfamiliar feeling is climbing into my neck and making my blood race. I’m breathless and scared, but still want to sink feetfirst into it, letting it fill me up. For a second, I wonder if this is what Jenna feels whenever she talks about the butterflies she gets with Sawyer.
I’ve never had a real boyfriend, and I’ve definitely never been in love—it’s almost impossible for an Aquarathi to feel a connection with a human the same way we do with one of our own kind. It’s not an abomination or unnatural or anything outmoded like that; it’s just weird, like two pieces working fine together but not really perfectly matched.
“So what are you here for?” I say into the suddenly weighted silence stretching between us. “Orientation?”
A wicked grin. “Nope. Had that last week.”
“So you’re here voluntarily because...?”
“Not voluntarily. Detention,” he says with a wink.
“On your first day?” I gasp, shaking my head at his cavalier expression but struggling not to burst out laughing. There’s something about him that is so irritating yet appealing at the same time. It’s exasperating. Lo stands, swinging his backpack to his shoulder. He’s far taller than I expected, but then again I was practically immersed in water the first time we met. I fight the urge to step back at his sudden nearness and the smell of salt that I can almost taste on my tongue. “So what’d you do?”
“Cut class to go surfing.” He throws a hand out, gesturing at his clothing, but I keep my gaze planted firmly on his face. “Got caught trying to sneak in and get changed. No biggie.”
“Wow, all on your first day—first period, no less. That takes a certain kind of stupid,” I say.
“I don’t like to be confined. Or being told what to do.”
“I can see that, but you know, this is a school,” I say in a mocking tone. “And at school, there are these things called rules. And if you break them, there are consequences.”
Lo’s smile turns cool, very unlike his earlier ones. The air between us becomes heavy with sudden tension. “Well, guess I’ll know who to ask when I need a refresher on how to be perfect.”
“Says the guy heading for detention,” I snap back, stung by his taunt even though I’d just done the same to him. I’m not perfect—I just don’t act out as he obviously does. There’s a huge difference between the two. I can’t afford to call attention to myself, and I’m there to educate myself, not push the boundaries. I don’t know why I’m letting myself get so rattled by someone who doesn’t factor into my existence. “Whatever, I couldn’t care less what you do,” I say, stalking out of the waiting area.
“Sure you do. See you at lunch, Nerissa.”
3
IRRITATIONS
“Ugh, I can’t stand him!”
“Can’t stand who?” Jenna says through a mouthful of cheeseburger.
“Lo. Lotharius Seavon. The new kid. I’m surprised you haven’t seen or heard him yet, he loves himself so much.” I can hardly keep the venom from my voice. Two class periods later and almost halfway through lunch and I’m still flustered by our earlier exchange. And by the fact that he hasn’t shown up at the cafeteria, where we were supposed to meet. I saw him in English but he didn’t even look my way, and now I’m supposed to be nice to him and give him the grand tour? I mutter an expletive under my breath and poke viciously at my salad.
“Wow, that bad?”
“Jenna, you can’t even imagine how bad,” I seethe. “He honestly thinks he is God’s gift or something. I mean, I swear he has rocks for brains. First of all, who would cut their first day to go surfing and show up not in uniform and make fun of Cano almost to his face? An idiot, that’s who.”
“I’d cut to surf,” Sawyer interjects, his streaky brown hair falling into his eyes. “I mean, I wouldn’t get caught, but yeah, not like I haven’t done it before.”
“Yes, but it’s not the same thing,” I argue hotly. “And if you got caught, wouldn’t you at least act sorry? You know, have some remorse or something? It’s not like he even cares. And then to tell me that I’m so perfect because I follow the rules, what does that even mean?” Jenna is staring at me with a weird combination of hilarity and disbelief, her cheeseburger lying forgotten in her hand. I’m on a tirade now, so much so that I don’t notice the sudden wide-eyed look on Sawyer’s face. “Who does he think he is, anyway?”
“Talking about me again?” Lo’s voice over my shoulder is tinged with amusement. “You know, I’m going to start thinking that you have a crush on me.”
“What?” I splutter, every cell inside of me freezing in response. “As if I would ever be interested in you in a gazillion years!”
“That long?” Lo’s reply is mocking, but even my rudeness doesn’t stop him from sitting down at the table and smiling winsomely at Jenna, who has a very odd look on her face. She’s staring from me to Lo and back again, as if she’s seeing something fascinating. Fighting my stupid reaction to his buttery voice, I still haven’t looked at him, keeping my eyes averted as if that’ll make him disappear.
“Hey,” she says with a grin. “I’m Jenna, the snarky one’s best friend, and this is my boyfriend, Sawyer. I take it you’re the Antichrist or something.”
“More like the ‘or something.’” Lo’s laugh must be infectious, because everyone at the table is laughing. Well, everyone except me.
Forcing myself to look at him, I notice that even though he’s dressed in the required school uniform, Lo still manages to look as comfortable as he did in the hoodie and flip-flops earlier in the office. I also can’t help but notice that the navy blazer brings out the bluer flecks in his eyes. He grins and throws his arm across the back of my chair. “So you like my new look?”
I glare at him, my gaze sliding over his artlessly styled sandy hair, and shove my chair—and his arm—back from the table, my usually calm exterior surprisingly ruffled. “The one that screams