Lucy turned the handle, but the door wouldn’t budge.
“Only opens when you say the password,” Smell advised, gazing at Lucy. He was not the most attractive cat in the world, with his one and a half ears, stumpy tail and single eye.
“You could have said! What is it?”
“’avana.”
The door stayed resolutely shut.
Smell made an impatient noise. “Havana,” he said, putting a rather sarcastic emphasis on the ‘h’. In response, the door swung open to reveal a very grand wood-panelled room with large stained-glass windows.
“Come along, you two! We’re about to start!” said Lord Grave, who was sitting at the head of a vast polished table. He was the leader of MAAM, owner of Grave Hall and Lucy’s employer (Lucy was officially the boot girl at Grave Hall). His panther Bathsheba was snoozing at his feet.
The other members of MAAM were gathered round the table. There was Lord Percy, a sorrowful-looking man with a deeply lined face. Sitting next to him was Lady Sibyl, a tall and elegant woman. Then there were the silver-haired twins, Beguildy Beguildy and Prudence Beguildy. Bertie Grave, Lord Grave’s son, was also at the table. Bertie wasn’t a magician and, in fact, didn’t believe in magic (he thought magic could be explained by science), but he provided what he called “practical input” to MAAM.
Lucy hurriedly pulled out one of the heavy ornate chairs and sat down. Smell jumped on to her lap. There was so much to look at in this fascinating room and, being a very curious girl, Lucy wished there was time for her to explore everything thoroughly. She was especially intrigued by the enormous display cabinet that held numerous strange objects, some of which ticked and vibrated. Lucy guessed they were for magical crime-fighting purposes.
“Shall we begin?” Lord Grave said. “Now, I am sure you want to know why I’ve asked you all here. This is the reason.”
Lord Grave unfolded a newspaper and spread it out in the middle of the table. It was a copy of the Penny Dreadful. Lord Grave always called the Penny a “frightful old rag” but seemed to one of its most avid readers nonetheless.
“So, does anyone want to put forward a guess about what’s behind these activities?” Lord Grave asked.
“It says here,” said Prudence Beguildy, “that Sir Absalom Balderdash is convinced it’s the work of corpse-eating zombies.”
“A ridiculous man,” her brother replied. “If anyone so much as picks a daffodil illegally, Sir Absalom blames it on zombies.”
“Can I have some serious ideas, please?” snapped Lord Grave.
“It’s graverobbers, of course!” Bertie said. His voice was somewhat hoarse as he had a bad cold. “It’s rather unethical, but if medical science is to progress, we have to understand how the human body works.”
“But look,” Lucy said, pointing to one of the paragraphs in the article. “It’s only the grave dirt that’s stolen. Not the bodies.”
“Oh, sorry,” said Bertie, going rather red before sneezing violently into his handkerchief.
“Don’t be sorry, my boy, all theories are welcome. But Lucy is right,” Lord Grave said. “That’s why I think there may be a rogue magician at work. Strangely enough, the Penny’s advice on mortsafes is a good idea. Iron can impede magic.”
“But why would a magician steal grave dirt?” Lucy asked.
“Why would a magician steal grave dirt?” said Beguildy Beguildy, who had been sitting with one elbow on the table, cheek resting on his hand and looking thoroughly bored all through the conversation. “Grave, I thought you said she was bright?”
“Don’t be so mean, B,” Prudence said.
“Quite,” Lord Grave replied. “Lucy is bright as well as magically gifted. That’s why I want her with me to begin an initial investigation into these thefts.”
Lucy turned to Beguildy and flashed him a wide smile. He bared his teeth at her in a silent grimace.
“What you need to know, Lucy, and you, Bertie,” Lord Grave continued, “is that grave dirt taken from freshly dug graves has powerful magical qualities.”
Lucy looked at the article in the Penny again. “Is all this about nefarious deeds and the new moon true?”
Lord Grave nodded. “For once it’s not just the Penny being hysterical. The new moon is strongly associated with dark magic. Now, it seems the graverobber visited St Olaf’s yesterday night, which is just a few villages away from here. The local gravedigger disturbed him before any grave dirt could be stolen. I suggest a surveillance operation.”
“You think it’s worth it, George?” Lady Sibyl said. “I doubt the robber will return.”
“I think he might. Tonight’s the last night of the new moon. There won’t be another for a month and he may not have the time to seek out more newly dug graves to rob. He may chance his arm. And we can look for clues too.” Lord Grave took out his pocket watch. “It’s half past four. Sunset will be in about three hours. Lucy and I will go to St Olaf’s and see if the graverobber makes another attempt. Does that suit you, Lucy?”
“Yes!” Lucy replied, almost leaping out of her seat with enthusiasm. Of course it suited her! She couldn’t wait to get stuck into her first official investigation for MAAM.
“Very well. Meet me in the grounds at half past six. Everyone, make no mention of this case outside these four walls for now.”
Lord Grave then invited the members of MAAM into his drawing room for tea. Unfortunately, Lucy wasn’t invited. To everyone not part of the magical world, Lucy was Lord Grave’s boot girl, and her task was to keep all the shoes at the Hall spick and span. Becky Bone, the housemaid, would serve tea to all the guests, so it would look very odd for Lucy to be among them. Lucy had hoped that becoming part of MAAM might mean the end of her boot girl duties. But Lord Grave thought it best to maintain the pretence for now, especially because there was a reporter from the Penny called Slimeous Osburn, who took a marked interest in goings-on at Grave Hall and was often snooping around. If Osburn got wind of a Grave Hall servant suddenly being treated as a member of the household, he might become suspicious. So Lucy rather reluctantly left the rest of MAAM to it and headed off to the kitchen. As she passed Beguildy Beguildy, he made a rude face at her.
“Beware of the ghosties tonight!” he said, fluttering his hands at either side of his head. “Woo!”
Lucy held her head high and stalked away, but inwardly fantasised about emptying a brimming chamberpot over Beguildy’s head. She smiled to herself as she imagined its stinky contents dripping down his face. As she set off down the stairs towards the kitchen, she sensed someone following her. It was Smell.
“Don’t let that Beguildy get to you, Luce,” he said, flicking his one and a half ears back and forth.
“I won’t. But why is he so horrible to me?”
“Jealous.”
Lucy stopped and looked down at Smell. “Jealous?”
Smell licked his front paw. “Yeah. See, Beguildy Beguildy’s ambitious. Only been a member of MAAM for a few months, but fancies ’imself as a future ’ead.