Then one night, about a month after seeing her nan, Jayne had a strange ‘dream’. She found herself in a park, sitting on a bench, and her nan was with her again. Jayne said, ‘I can’t remember the whole conversation, but I can remember she said, “I can’t stay long; I will have to go soon. You will be OK. Things will get better.”’ Jayne’s nan then said goodbye and drifted away.
Her nan appeared several more times after that but only when Jayne was feeling low. Then, a few months later, she finally found the courage to split up with her partner and things did get better. Jayne feels that her nan made her realise that it was the right thing to do, and although she doesn’t see her as much now, she still feels that if she really needed her nan, she wouldn’t be very far away.
There is something special about knowing that our loved ones are still around for us when we need them. It’s comforting to know that they are aware of the struggles and worries we are going through, even though they are not physically in our lives. They have the ability to check in from time to time to soothe and reassure us. Has a deceased loved one visited you in this way?
There have been numerous studies on afterlife phenomena over the years. One was conducted by a British doctor, W. D. Rees, who contacted a sample group of widows in Wales. Of these, 47 per cent believed they’d had afterlife contact (sometimes over and over again, continuing for a number of years) from their deceased husbands. That’s quite a high figure, isn’t it? I think it shows this phenomenon is perhaps more normal than paranormal.
Many visitations occur in an unexpected form, such as this next one, which happened to Nicky. She explained that her partner passed last year, and he sent birds to her when she wasn’t paying attention to him – meaning that she felt he’d been trying to reach out to her and she hadn’t noticed. Nicky was in shock the first week after her partner died because his death was so sudden and unexpected. She says the birds literally came right up to her and looked like they were trying to speak – they kept opening their beaks with no sound coming out!
When the initial shock wore off, Nicky could hear her partner saying things like, ‘You need to eat something,’ or, ‘Go inside, it’s cold now.’ As time went on she could hear messages more clearly, and on a couple of occasions she felt the physical touch of him as he took hold of her hand. Nicky’s children have also felt his presence and heard him speak to them. They’ve also had dream visitations from him, so here is one man who was determined to let his family know he had survived physical death in some way. This is not as uncommon as you would think. After my own dad passed on, his children and great-grandchildren all had visitation experiences; he was a regular ‘dream visitor’.
Birds have played a part in numerous afterlife contact stories that I’ve read over the years. Wild birds seem especially friendly, tapping on the window to get your attention, hanging around for days on end or even sitting on people’s hands! Maybe you’ve experienced contact in this way, too? I’ve been going through a challenging time in my own life recently, and last week a little bird twice came and knocked on the window. I was shocked the first time and he flew away fairly quickly, but the second time I was ready. I sat open-mouthed as he tapped away for several seconds. I wanted to call out for my husband to witness what I was seeing but didn’t want to frighten the bird away. The bird stuck around long enough for me to have taken a photograph of him on my phone, but for some reason I had left my phone downstairs when it’s normally next to me on my desk. Perhaps the action would have spoiled the magic somehow. Maybe I was meant to experience the moment, rather than waste time taking a photograph (a life lesson, I’m sure).
Lynn’s experience was much more direct. She was lucky enough to have a very real chat with a loved one from the other side. She told me her grandmother passed away in 2012. A few weeks after she passed, Lynn was walking up the stairs when she saw her grandmother at the top. As if that wasn’t strange enough, that night Lynn had a dream: her grandmother was in her bedroom. Lynn spotted her so went in to join her and sat down on the bed. Lynn was confused and questioned how her grandmother was able to be back with her even though she had just passed over. The woman replied that she was not staying long but that she’d just popped back to give her granddaughter a hug. The pair hugged for a few moments, and Lynn says she sobbed with grief as she explained to her grandmother how much she missed her. The woman was aware of this and was sympathetic but explained that she wasn’t going far and would always be around for the family.
This encounter follows the classic ‘visitation format’, where the experience is so real and we are so lucid that we are confused as to why they (the spirits of the deceased) can visit us when they are ‘dead’. The spirit looks and feels like a normal, living human being during the course of the visitation. Although it’s rare to be able to touch the deceased, it does happen, and it’s happened to me numerous times: a loving hand in your hand, a touch on the shoulder or a full-on hug. They are very precious gifts from heaven. Lynn’s visit was a short one, as they normally are. It seems it’s difficult for the spirit to ‘hold’ this shape and stick around in this mutual location for long periods of time.
Lynn continued with her story and said her gran then had to leave, even though she didn’t want her to. She begged the woman to stay, but she became very stern. She got up, walked her to the door and said strongly, ‘YOU ARE NOT COMING WITH ME! You have work to do.’ With one last hug, her gran parted with the words, ‘I love you, chicken.’ Then she shut the door firmly.
Lynn cried for her grandmother to let her in but there was no reply, and when she tried the door it wouldn’t open. Lynn woke up with tears rolling down her cheeks and knew the experience was real; it left her with a warm feeling. Her gran has been back a few times since and Lynn loves it when it happens. She often appears during normal dreams and the pair always share a hug.
It might seem as if Lynn’s grandmother was pretty strict in this experience but this, too, is a classic part of the encounter. To ‘stay’ for any length of time would mean that Lynn would have to pass over too, and of course that is not allowed! The deceased always tell us it’s not ‘our time’ and that we have many more things to do on earth (lessons to learn, help to give others and so on). Our lives – and the plan for our future life – impact upon many others along the way. A smile we give to a stranger might one day save someone’s life, or being in a particular place means we introduce a friend to their future partner, and so on. If we leave too soon it interferes with many more lives than our own. Our loved ones want us to visit with them, not cross over to heaven with them!
My own father visits me in dream-visitation experiences occasionally. I love it when Dad holds my hand because it feels real in the way it did when he was in his physical body. I often cry, too. I miss Dad and want to stay with him, but of course I want him back on this side of life rather than having to go to his side – not yet, anyway! It’s strange to wake up and know those tears are real and feel them running down your face.
I’ve also had visitation hugs. They feel completely normal, in the same way they did when he was on earth. In a recent visitation experience I had my hands on a door and recall the sensation of the handle most clearly. Even during the dream experience I remember thinking, ‘Wow, that feels completely real!’ It’s the lucidity of the encounter that makes you realise this is no ordinary dream. We interact with the people who visit, whereas in a normal dream the action is often muddled and disconnected.
Occasionally people drop into deep meditative states or dream-sleeps, where they visit these afterlife realms. I know there are websites where folk can learn to have these experiences on purpose so that they can see more of the other side. It’s not easy! I’ve tried, with limited success. If you want to have a go at this, search using the phrase ‘out-of-body experience’ or ‘OOB/OOBE’. I reached the stage where I could lift my spirit body out of my physical body and float around the house. Occasionally I’d travel further and have bigger experiences almost by accident.