Similarly, self-harm is often viewed as a predominantly female phenomenon, but many males self-harm too – though some of the methods they use may not always be automatically considered self-harm. For instance, a boy who vents his anger and frustration by getting into fights or doing himself harm whilst punching and kicking walls, doors and furniture may be written off as an aggressive adolescent, but if this behaviour is regularly repeated and is the boy’s only means of coping with his feelings then there is an argument for considering it as a form of self-harm. Additionally, boys tend to be a lot more reluctant to talk about their problems and will go to greater lengths to keep symptoms of self-harm and eating disorders hidden than their female counterparts, which also helps to perpetuate the myth that very few boys are affected. The truth is that many boys are affected both by self-harm and eating disorders but are often suffering in silence rather than having their need for support met.
‘It kind of sucks being a boy who self-harms. You’re like some sort of freakish oddity. I don’t think I’m half as unusual as people think though, I think I’m just the one who feels a little bit happier talking about it, and the rest are hiding.’
Running parent workshops and information sessions
As well as breaking down the taboo with staff, it can be helpful to get parents talking too. A great way to help forge links between parents and the school or college is to hold information evenings or workshops for parents which allow them to learn basic information about issues such as self-harm or eating disorders. This can both reinforce the importance to parents of informing and working with the school if they have concerns about their child and also be a good vehicle to provide parents with information about the support that is available at school and to reinforce the message that no child at your school will ever be discriminated against on the basis of mental health or emotional wellbeing issues.
More than anything, parents will often welcome the opportunity to discuss their concerns and to talk with other parents about their experiences or worries. You do not need a long session to have a big impact and it is often helpful to keep the atmosphere relatively light-hearted by providing refreshments. Within the session, you could cover:
•explanation of/information about the particular mental health issue(s) you’ve chosen to focus on
•details or warning signs
•exploration of the limits of ‘normal’ adolescent behaviour – at what point should a parent worry?
•clear guidance on who parents can talk to at school about their concerns
•information about the support available at or via the school
•details of further sources of information.
It is also helpful if you can provide parents with suggested guidance about what to do if a friend of their child confides in them about their difficulties, or if their child expresses concern about a friend. This can put parents in a very difficult situation as they may not know how best to help whilst feeling a huge pressure to do the right thing. Children are more likely to confide in a friend’s parents than their own so it really is worth discussing this issue with parents. When discussing this with parents you might like to consider:
•discussing the importance of not promising the child confidentiality as they are likely to break this promise which may jeopardize their relationship with the child
•considering what they should do next – for example, discussing the issue with the parents of the child concerned, or the school, or both
•discussing how they can be supportive moving forwards.
‘We were worried that no one would turn up. We had the opposite problem, there weren’t enough seats! We had planned a half hour presentation with ten minutes for questions. The questions ended up extending to over an hour. We had some fantastic feedback; more than anything parents were just grateful to feel less alone and to talk about issues that had felt so taboo. In the days following, we had several parents contact us with concerns about their children so we were able to feel a very real and immediate impact.’
LEARNING TO TAKE AWAY FROM THIS CHAPTER
•The key ways to break down the stigma and taboo surrounding eating disorders and self-harm is to promote discussion and learning.
•It is important to have clear policies, procedures and lines of responsibility in place, otherwise vulnerable students may go unsupported.
•There are many misconceptions perpetuated about self-harm and eating disorders. These are often stigmatizing and may prevent a student in need from seeking the help and support they need.
•Parents often welcome the opportunity to learn more about mental health and emotional wellbeing issues from the school.
•Parents may be concerned about how to provide support to their son or daughter’s friends.
THINGS TO DO
•Ensure that every member of your school staff has received at least basic training about self-harm and eating disorders.
•Ensure every member of staff knows to whom they should refer concerns about a student.
•Actively address misconceptions about self-harm and eating disorders as you come across them at school.
•Organize an information and discussion evening for parents.
CHAPTER 3
Teaching Students about Self-Harm and Eating Disorders
This chapter will enable you to:
•understand the benefits and risks of teaching students about self-harm and eating disorders
•utilize ground rules designed to promote a culture of safe exploration
•implement safeguards to ensure the wellbeing of vulnerable students
•confidently develop student understanding without promoting unsafe behaviours.
There is a much perpetrated myth that teaching students about self-harm or eating disorders will make them many times more likely to develop these issues. Teaching students about eating disorders and self-harm may make the incidence of eating disorders appear to increase within your school, but that is because cases which would have previously gone unrecognized may now be picked up. That is a good thing as it means these students who had previously slipped below the radar are now receiving much-needed support. However, in order to do no harm, these topics must be approached carefully and sensitively within the context of a broader developmental curriculum. Ideas for this are outlined in the following pages.
A key benefit of taking the time to teach your students about eating disorders and self-harm is that this will make them realize that you think these issues are important topics worth talking about and which you are not scared to discuss openly. It will also help them to realize that you are knowledgeable on the topic, as long as you have prepared appropriately. Two key barriers to students talking about their own or their friends’ eating disorders to staff at school are that they believe that teachers do not understand eating disorders and will therefore be unable to help, and that they think that their teacher will think it’s unimportant or that they are blowing things out of proportion. By teaching your students about eating disorders and self-harm you can quickly overcome these barriers and make students far more likely to confide in a member of school staff about any concerns they may have.
What age is appropriate?
I am often asked at what age it is appropriate to teach students about issues such as self-harm and eating disorders. I don’t believe that there is a universal answer to this and you should always develop your scheme of work to suit the individual skills,