Dedicated to the 50,000 teenagers we’ve worked
with since 2008, who are the actual experts.
Your feedback keeps our classes fresh.
Knowing you gives us hope for the future.
Love,
The Self-Esteem Team
CONTENTS
1 TITLE PAGE
2 DEDICATION
3 FOREWORD BY ZOELLA
4 ABOUT THIS BOOK
5 INTRODUCING THE SELF-ESTEEM TEAM
6 CHAPTER ONE IF I HAVE HIGH SELF-ESTEEM, WILL I BECOME ARROGANT?
7 CHAPTER TWO I DON’T FEEL ‘RIGHT’
8 CHAPTER THREE HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M HEALTHY?
9 A) WHAT’S A ‘NORMAL’ WEIGHT/SIZE FOR SOMEONE MY AGE?
10 B) HOW MUCH SHOULD I BE EATING/EXERCISING?
11 CHAPTER FOUR I HATE MY _______
12 CHAPTER FIVE I FEEL LIKE I’M DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE – HELP!
13 CHAPTER SIX WHAT ARE THE CHANCES SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN? (INCLUDING THOUGHTS ON SELF-HARM)
14 CHAPTER SEVEN THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT DRUGS
15 A) WHAT’S IT REALLY LIKE?
16 B) WHAT ARE PEOPLE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE HIGH?
17 C) WHY DO PEOPLE DO IT?
18 CHAPTER EIGHT WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PORN AND REAL SEX?
19 CHAPTER NINE SEXTING… GOOD IDEA?
20 CHAPTER TEN SKIN
21 A) HOW DO I FEEL CONFIDENT, WARTS AND ALL?
22 B) HOW DO I LOOK AFTER MY SKIN?
23 CHAPTER ELEVEN WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE BULLIES?
24 CHAPTER TWELVE MY SCHOOL WON’T LET ME _________. IS THAT FAIR?
25 CHAPTER THIRTEEN WHAT SHOULD I SAY IF I’M WORRIED ABOUT A FRIEND?
26 CHAPTER FOURTEEN HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER?
27 CHAPTER FIFTEEN WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I’M BEING COPIED?
28 CHAPTER SIXTEEN BFFS?
29 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN EVERYONE’S DOING IT…
30 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN AM I READY FOR SEX?
31 CHAPTER NINETEEN IF I TELL SOMEONE, WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
32 CHAPTER TWENTY HOW DO I GET MORE CONFIDENCE?
33 BYE!
34 FURTHER SOURCES OF HELP AND INFORMATION
35 COPYRIGHT
I have been lucky to have fallen into a career that inspires others all over the world. Of course, I am eternally thankful, but anyone who watches my YouTube channel will know I also struggle with anxiety. It doesn’t matter how successful you are, or how happy you might appear on the outside, everyone battles secret demons from time-to-time. It’s just part of being a human being.
Since talking about my own struggles, thousands of teenagers have contacted me to tell me that they too are fighting feelings they find hard to understand. Whether it’s because they have been bullied, have lost someone they love, have problems at home, or they simply don’t know why, when I described how anxiety felt to me, a lot of people could relate.
It’s for that reason I’m so thrilled The Self-Esteem Team (and this book) exist. The Self-Esteem Team give the message that it’s OK to be you, that individuality is cool, and that you don’t have to face your troubles alone. They are tackling the mental-health crisis head-on in a way that is accessible, down-to-earth, and even fun. Most importantly, they base what they say not only on personal experience, but having spoken to (and continuing conversation with) tens of thousands of real teens. They are a megaphone for the voice of young people and are answering real concerns on what they hear.
Without the Internet, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Yet it also presents unique challenges. It’s hard to remember that you are a great and beautiful human in a never-ending world of Photoshopped selfies and trolls who have direct access to your phone. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded that nobody is perfect and that we are loved and valued just as we are.
I hope this book will help you to remember those things. It’s a survival guide for the modern age, packed with pearls of wisdom, real anecdotes and witty musings. At times it will make you laugh out loud, but it might also make you cry. Either way, carry it with you; there’s a strategy or word of advice for almost every dilemma faced by today’s teens. And even I, at twenty-five, can continue learning from it.
Enjoy, and be proud to be you.
Love Zoella
There are certain questions in life you wouldn’t necessarily ask your parents, can’t really ask your teachers and definitely shouldn’t Google. Things like ‘What’s the difference between porn and real sex?’ ‘What’s it like to take drugs?’ and ‘Seriously, what’s the worst that could happen…?’
You could try asking your friends but they probably don’t know either and might just make something up to try and look clever (which is how urban myths about people getting stuck together during sex started. It. Never. Happened. Trust). Ideally, what you need for these kinds of discussions is a knowledgeable Big Sister type character but a) not everyone has a big sister and b) older siblings tend to be really busy rebelling/defiantly pushing the boundaries of what your parents consider to be acceptable behaviour.
So that’s why this book happened. The Self-Esteem Team (the Universal Big Sisters to young people across the globe) answer the questions that the thousands of teenagers they have met during the course of their work have asked most often.
The Self-Esteem Team each have jobs in showbiz/media and so understand exactly how bizarre the modern world can be. They have met a lot of important experts, attended A LOT of (often fist-gnawingly dull) conferences and, between them, they know quite a bit about mental health and body image. But more importantly, they also remember what it was like to be a teenager and how being patronised made them want to kick the wall while making an ‘UHHHHHH!!!’ noise.
So what you will find is that their answers are honest, sometimes funny, full of compassion and occasionally a bit sweary – because there is no reason why they shouldn’t talk to you in the same way they talk to each other (which is always honest, funny, compassionate and a bit sweary).
The Self-Esteem Team hope this book helps you be the best version of you, while rocking your own unique brand of gorgeous, so you can successfully navigate this crazy thing we call life…
INTRODUCING THE SELF-ESTEEM TEAM