The twin imperatives—produce and possess—can lead us away from our authentic selves if we don’t pay close attention. They start eating up time and money until our planned purchases, trips, and activities begin to drive all our decisions. Before we know it, life is cluttered with the maintenance of the stuff we’ve acquired and the life we’ve enshrined. It can become a vicious cycle indeed.
As we listen to winter’s wisdom, we explore ways to reverse this trend, finding real joy in what we have without being caught in the whirlwind of more, more, more. What would it mean in our lives to lean toward less, less, less?
Reflect: Take a few moments to reflect on your relationship to your stuff. Does it own you, or do you own it? Make a realistic plan to reduce the volume of possessions you no longer need.
JANUARY 19 • The Muddled Mind
In many ways, the mind is like a whiteboard, and we hold both the marker and eraser in our hands. The thoughts we choose to hold carry incredible power, affecting us and those around us for good or ill. In other words, thoughts produce feelings; feelings produce emotions; emotions produce actions; actions produce experience—a cause-and-effect process that is both gratifying and terrifying.
Addressing a muddled mind requires some serious thought management. A mind full of racing thoughts robs us of peace and stability. When we choose to go over the same hurts and resentments again and again, we deepen harmful neural pathways and can become stuck in a sea of negativity. Unconsciously, an internal victim stance can slowly become part of our identity, and we often wear our victimhood like a badge of honor. Even if the feelings are justified, they do their toxic work in our bodies and minds, plus giving us an aura of “See how much I’ve suffered.”
I’m not suggesting that we suppress negative feelings. However, after some time for venting, exploring the lessons, expressing concerns, making amends—whatever appropriately honors those legitimate feelings—the time comes to “erase the whiteboard.” Our continuing to replay grievances in our heads is like drinking hemlock and hoping someone else will get sick!
This “erasing” opens us to the challenging territory of forgiveness. We forgive people, not bad behaviors. We forgive—not for the person who wronged us—but for ourselves. If indeed, God has created us in the divine image, being true to our divine heritage calls us to forgive as God forgives.
So when thoughts of complaint or judgment keep returning, switch gears and choose other thoughts that contribute to healing, such as thanks for what we do have rather than regret for what we don’t; gratitude for life as it is rather than complaint about what it isn’t.
Reflect: Today pay attention to the terrain of your own mind. As the gatekeeper of your thoughts, do you allow unwanted visitors to enter? Feel the freedom of your soul as you bid farewell to each negative visitor.
JANUARY 20 • Junk Food for the Brain
There’s no such thing as idle thought. Just as radio waves or telephone transmissions carry messages, so do the invisible vibrations produced by our thoughts. No wonder Paul counseled, “Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Rom 12:2).
Our culture seems more obsessed with what we eat than what we think: How many calories? How much fiber? Did we get our five servings of fruits and vegetables today? I wish we paid that much attention to what we feed our minds. We take “bites” from a buffet of offerings—violent movies, ridiculous TV sitcoms, trashy novels, idle gossip—all junk food for the brain. In order to monitor what we feed our minds, we must first become aware of the part we play in the feeding. An old American folktale drives this truth home.
An elderly man listened as his grandson described a battle between two friends on the playground. The grandfather got a faraway look in his eyes and said, “Yes, I know what you mean, but the real battle is somewhere else, . . . and it’s between the two wolves!”
“What do you mean?” asked the boy.
The old man replied, “We have a battle raging all the time inside every one of us—where no one else can see. One wolf is negative—he wears anger, envy, jealousy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, false pride, inferiority, superiority, and bravado. The other wolf is positive—he wears joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, generosity, truth, and compassion. It’s an ongoing war—a true battle!”
“Well,” said the boy, “ who wins, Granddaddy?”
And the wise man replied knowingly, “Oh, that’s easy. The winner is the one you feed.”
After first hearing that story, I began to notice the subtle (and not so subtle) ways I feed the negative wolf by repeating a criticism, by calling a friend to complain about someone who has slighted me, by engaging in vengeful fantasies. Just as life-enhancing emotions grow by being fed, so do the emotions that choke the life from us. To state the obvious: Energy flows where attention goes.
Reflect: Notice today which wolf you feed through your thoughts. Be compassionate with yourself, even as you become aware of your complicitity.
JANUARY 21 • Changing Your Mind
Some folks are fluid and some congeal,” said one observer of the maturing process. We often confuse stability with rigidity. Even though we like to think of our values and opinions as the “right” ones, we can remain open to deeper understanding and to refining our positions when reality dictates it.
Oftentimes, we tend to hold on to the familiar, even when it no longer serves us or when modern discoveries shoot our opinions full of holes. When science revealed that the earth was round, many maintained their belief that it was flat so they could “stand on their beliefs.” Life surprises us with shifts that may not exist in the script we planned, and we are called to rewrite the lines over and over again.
In our culture of confidence, three phrases we dread confessing are these: “I’m sorry,” “I’m not sure,” and “I’ve changed my mind.” Unfortunately, we associate them with the weak and lily-livered—people we believe cannot stand up for themselves or stick with a decision. We label politicians as flip-floppers and judge those who compromise as unprincipled. The world might be a better place if folks were willing to change long held opinions when they become untenable.
Being able to consider many points of view is a virtue of the strong, not the weak. The capacity to change our minds reflects humility and the intelligent pursuit of truth. Those who hang on to an opinion like a dog with a bone remind me of the old cliché, “My mind is made up; don’t confuse me with the facts!” None of us has a corner on the truth.
Reflect: As you reflect during these winter contemplative moments, notice your own rigid feelings. Summon the courage to consider opening your mind to new ways of thinking.
JANUARY 22 • The Humble Spirit
The words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount point to the value of genuine humility: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 5:3).
Perhaps being confused and spiritually restless is not such a bad state of being. It implies our acknowledgment that we can always learn something, that we can expand our horizon, and that a wider truth exists. After all, growth of the soul is about expansion, not contraction.
“Poor in spirit” can also mean we’re at the end of our rope, out of answers, and uncertain. In that condition, we naturally respond by reaching for something greater and wiser. Being poor in spirit points to true humility and a willingness to subvert our pompous egos. Of course, we usually think that refers to someone else, but what about the times when we think we are better than others—more principled, more “right”?
Spiritual uncertainty leads us to the startling reality that doubt can form the cutting edge of faith. Quite a number of my beliefs have been challenged, dissected, and reshaped during the course of my life. Though it didn’t seem so at the time, the intellectual wrestling has strengthened rather than weakened my faith. Our concerns about our beliefs can propel us toward authenticity. Our concerns can rattle