Reflect: Recall a situation of discernment that you’re presently considering. What one action would move you forward? a phone call? a contact to give you essential information? a time of reflection and prayer about the possibilities? Just take one step.
FEBRUARY 23 • Getting It Wrong
But what if I think I’m doing the will of God, and I get it wrong? What if it doesn’t turn out well?” she asked.
“Join the club,” I responded.
Sometimes we learn as much from getting it wrong as getting it right. Failure is a rich seedbed of personal growth. A noted Peanuts cartoon shows Sally sitting at a table with two pieces of paper—one large and one small—in front of her. As she writes diligently on the large piece, she says to Charlie Brown, “I’m making a list of all the lessons I’ve learned from life. Well, actually, I’m making two lists.” Charlie Brown asks, “Why is one list so much longer than the other?” Holding up the long list, Sally says, “Oh, these are the things I’ve learned the hard way!”
In the arena of human behavior, we learn from experience. And how do we get experience? Through trial and error, through failure as well as success. Even if we offer an act of kindness that is rebuffed or doesn’t produce the desired result, the action itself may not be misguided. When acting from a motivation of love and compassion, we learn to let go of the outcome.
One mark of spiritual maturity is a willingness to take risks, to get it wrong, to believe that God’s forgiving spirit will pick us up, dust us off, and set us on the path again. If we remain at the starting gate for fear of making a mistake, our souls will congeal into something lifeless and fearful. We move forward in faith with the light that we have. Second chances abound in the arena of divine grace.
Ask, pray, watch, act. Don’t allow fear to paralyze you!
Reflect: Think of times in your life when you have learned valuable lessons from your mistakes. Give thanks that God’s loving presence helped your soul grow from your choices.
FEBRUARY 24 • Judgment or Discernment?
There are contrasts between judgment and discernment, even though we often use the terms interchangeably. Judgment usually involves a sense of distance from the thing or person being judged that emphasizes it as “other.” It has an aura of put-down, condescension, or fear. Discernment, on the other hand, identifies “with,” seeing a behavior or situation as it truly is and choosing an appropriate course of engagement or disengagement accordingly.
For instance, judgment might label someone as an “incorrigible gambler,” while discernment would involve understanding that the person has a gambling problem and deciding not to go to a casino outing! I might judge my financial adviser as a thief because I lost money or, after considering his financial advice, my discernment might lead me to give him another chance or to find another consultant.
Here’s a checklist for determining the difference between judgment and discernment:
• Judgment is a reaction; discernment is a response.
• Judgment is unreflective; discernment is thoughtful.
• Judgment is hasty; discernment takes time.
• Judgment jumps to conclusions; discernment thinks it through.
• Judgment contains our own biases; discernment is open to the Spirit.
• Judgment carries a sense of superiority; discernment seeks equanimity.
• Judgment stems from emotion; discernment desires wisdom and insight.
• Judgment labels; discernment seeks understanding.
Before we take the familiar leap to judgment of a person, the law of love would have us affirm that person’s essential goodness before assuming the worst. After all, there’s some good in the worst of us and some bad in the best of us.
Reflect: Consider the difference between judgment and discernment in your own life. The next time you feel tempted to make a quick judgment, take time to respond with discernment rather than reaction.
FEBRUARY 25 • The Discernment Prayer
In the old days before processed milk, my grandmother would wait for the thick cream to slowly rise to the top of the container before skimming it off to enrich her cup of coffee. Discernment is like that; it takes patience and attention. You wait until the cream rises to the top. Or, to use another metaphor, it’s a bit like standing in a muddy puddle, waiting for it to clear up. If you stand still long enough, the dirt settles to the bottom as you watch. In like manner, good decisions require stillness and waiting.
In making decisions, the pertinent data can swirl into a mass of confusion. We receive external data in the form of advice from those we trust, factual aspects to consider, scriptural principles, and life values. Internal data comes from the body’s reactions and the soft voice of the soul where the Spirit speaks to us. As all this input merges, a decision will begin to form.
A familiar prayer facilitates this process of guidance, relying on our sensitivity to God’s interior influence. It assumes a belief that the Spirit speaks through our soul, body, feelings, intellect, and the yearning of the heart. Based on a verse from Psalm 37:4 (“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart”), it can point the way forward.
We clear our minds of cluttering thoughts and set aside our own preference regarding the answer. Then we pray the following prayer for discernment with patience and persistence for days or even months:
Loving God, if this course of action is for my highest good and those involved, I pray that you will increase my desire for it; if this is not for the highest good, I pray that you will decrease my desire for it. Amen.
Then we patiently pay attention.
Reflect: As you consider a question, a choice, or a decision, pray The Discernment Prayer faithfully, noting any changes in the desires of your own heart under the influence of the Spirit. Listen for the still small whisper of God.
FEBRUARY 26 • Deciding
There comes a moment when it’s time to make a choice and step forward in faith. If we wait for absolute certainty, we’ll wait forever! Prolonged hesitation and constant second-guessing can make it impossible to act.
An old saying states, “Leap and the net will appear!” Being overly cautious stunts our courage and corrals us in mediocrity. We take the next step, trusting that we’ll be shown the one after that and the one after that. We’re called to faithfulness, not perfection.
We can foster a deepening trust by praying the following prayer:
O Holy One, be with me in my uncertainty. Though I’m ready to move forward, my willingness sometimes feels weak and tentative. But somehow, I trust that you will honor my intention because that’s all I have right now. Even if I make a misstep and stumble, I trust your gracious Spirit to steer me back on the path to authentic discernment.
So accept my feeble effort, my availability, my desire to honor your words, “Do not be afraid.” I no longer ask for a vision of the whole journey, but simply for the next step. As you shine your holy light on my path forward, I will take that step with your loving, forgiving Spirit ever at my side. Amen.
Reflect: Meditate using one of the following verses: “‘Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom’” (Luke 12:32) or “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid” (Heb. 13:6) or “O Most High, when I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Ps. 56:3). Allow your fears to melt into life-giving trust.
FEBRUARY 27 • Litmus Test for Listening
In any process of discernment, the inevitable question arises: Am I on the right track? Am I moving in a healthy direction?
Even when a path forward seems clearly indicated, signposts that provide encouragement and confirmation of the decision exist:
•