Kat thought that was all he was going to say. But his face in shadow, he continued in a low, tortured voice. “While on a mission for Edward, I was ambushed outside of our encampment one night. I received a blow to the head that knocked me out. I woke up several days later in one of Baybars’s Mamluk prisons.”
“Why did we receive no ransom demand?” she murmured.
“Stripped of my raiment, the prison officials neither cared nor believed that I was a landed knight, capable of raising a ransom. So there I rotted for four endless years, until I found a way to escape. I fled to the nearest harbor and caught ship.” He swung his head back to her, his face in the light once more. His gaze burned like blue flame into hers. “And all I could think of on the long journey home was returning to you. But when I returned to Briand Castle and the succor of my family, I learned instead you were marrying another man.” His voice grew deeper, colder. “Sir Luc de Joinville, of all men.”
Kat raised her chin at his malevolent tone. “Sir Luc is a good man and he loves me. Which is more than I can say for you!” She welcomed the return of her anger, remembering Alex was captured in the Holy Land because he selfishly abandoned her to go adventuring. He did not deserve her sympathy.
He crossed his arms over his chest, his expression belligerent. “Did he tell you we became good friends along the journey to the Holy Land? How he saved my life during a raid by Mamluk warriors?” he asked cynically.
Her eyes widened in shock. Luc had told her about his unlikely friendship with Alex, but he never spoke of saving Alex’s life. Kat remembered how Alex, at their wedding celebration, had accused her of flirting with Sir Luc and nearly came to blows with the man. “He saved your life? How?”
He waved her question away. “It matters not now. Just tell me this. Do you love him, Kat?”
His intense gaze held hers. He waited for her answer, the look in his eyes almost haunted. Surely it was just a flicker of the candlelight in his eyes, for they became blank and unreadable the next moment.
Her chin raised a notch. “And if I do? What matters it to you? You don’t love me.”
He grabbed her arms, his fingers digging into her flesh, bruising her. “Answer me!” He bit out each word slowly. “Do…you…love…him?”
Kat wanted to hurt Alex the way he had hurt her when he abandoned her. So she stared directly into his eyes and lied. “Aye, I love him. More than I ever loved you! I love him so much, I would die for him.” She knew it was a mistake before the last words rolled off her tongue.
His features froze into a hard mask and he crushed her against him. Then his mouth swooped down and claimed her lips in a fierce kiss. She beat her hands against his chest, but he pressed her closer, trapping them. His mouth molded to hers like hot marble, while his hands clutched her buttocks and pulled her flush against his loins. She tried to resist, but he ground his erect shaft against her long-deprived flesh. Shivery heat slithered over her body. She whimpered, her hips flexing without volition.
Alex groaned at her response. His lips eased their pressure and his tongue entered her slackened mouth. Though his beard chafed her skin, the exquisite slide of his tongue along her inner lips, the roof of her mouth, the flesh of her tongue, made up for any discomfort. It had been too long since she had felt this amazing rush of excitement, the blood pounding in her veins in tempo with her heartbeat.
As suddenly as the kiss began, it was over. Alex raised his head, still clutching her tightly. “I would lay odds Sir Luc never made you respond like that when he kissed you,” he practically growled. “That he never made you moan and writhe against him in abandon.”
Heat suffused her cheeks. “You arrogant bastard. You would lose that bet.”
A light flared in his eyes and he clutched her face. His fingers threaded through the hair at the nape of her neck and he yanked her head back. Her scalp tingled. “You are a liar. You may care for Sir Luc, but you still want me. And I could make you fall in love with me again, given a chance.”
She laughed, the sound bitter and full of rancor. “You are deluded. I shall never give you a second chance to break my heart. I hate you!”
He flinched and Kat reveled that she could inflict some small measure of pain to this heartless man. She had naively given her love and trust to him, and he had rejected it in a most callous way. She would never forgive him. Ever. Then he surprised her when he clutched her face in his palms and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
His eyes, filled with bitter regret, held hers. “I have wounded you and I am deeply sorry for that. When we married, I was a proud and selfish young fool. I convinced myself that I had to go on Edward’s Crusade because I had made a vow to do so. I did not tell you my plans because I knew you would be devastated, and I wished to avoid a confrontation. But I have regretted my decision every day since,” Alex’s voice was soft and melodious, compelling her to weaken and forgive him. “I know it will take time to regain your trust, but I would like us to start anew as husband—”
“You know naught, Alex,” Kat interrupted vehemently, “and you never have.” She shoved him with surprising strength and broke his hold. The back of her thighs bumped into the side altar and she gripped the polished wood in her hands to hold herself up. “But I will tell you what I know and what you should have known. I know my husband wedded me, bedded me, and then abandoned me mere hours later to go on Crusade. I know you thought only of yourself and cared not how your sudden departure would affect me. I know you are a cold, heartless bastard because long ago you gave your heart to a woman who does not deserve your love! That I never had a chance to gain even a small piece of your heart for myself!” She sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to check her tumultuous emotions. She had not intended to reveal to him the wretched pain she carried inside.
“That may have been true then, Kat, but I have changed. And I do care for you. More than you know,” Alex implored.
But he does not love you, the insidious thought echoed within her aching heart.
Pain shot through her cramped fingers. Kat released her tight grip on the altar and brushed back a sliver of hair from her moist temple. “I don’t care how you feel, Alex. You betrayed me and shattered my trust in you. Don’t think you can tell me a few pretty lies so you can crawl back into my bed. The only thing I promise is to be civil to you in public.”
Kat spun and marched away, heading for the chapel door.
“Kat, wait. Prithee?”
The agonized rasp tugged at her heart and drew her to a reluctant stop. Her temples pounding, she turned back, and as she did, Kat thought she saw a look akin to desperation flash in his eyes. She scoffed at the ridiculous notion. Alex cared for no one but himself.
“I know I have hurt you terribly, Kat,” he said, his voice gruff and surprisingly sincere. “While in prison I had much time to reflect on my past transgressions and I bitterly regret abandoning you. But I have suffered, too.” As he spoke, Alex drew steadily closer. “Whether you believe it or not, I spent four agonizing years in prison dreaming about you. I vowed that one day I would return to claim you. I know I do not deserve a second chance, but I am going to do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness and win you back.”
Kat stood as still as a stone statue, unable to move, the intensity of his blue eyes holding her spellbound. They reflected the flames of a hundred flickering candles. He hovered so close the heat of his body melted into her skin.
Kat stiffened and drew back. With distance her good sense returned, along with her anger. How dare he presume that his wishes mattered to her! Did the fool still believe her a gullible, lovesick young girl easily persuaded by empty words?
Her voice full of conviction, she said, “There is no power on earth that can change the way I feel about you, Alex. I despise you for what you did. You may as well be the rushes beneath my feet; I would sooner step on you as look at you.”
Alex inhaled deeply. “I’m a patient man, Kat. That is another