He blew out his breath gustily. “We’re well aware of our pack obligations, Councilor Manning, thank you just the same for the reminder.”
“I know you are, Liam.” Kathy’s voice oozed sympathy and I could almost hear his teeth grind. I kept my gaze fixed on my coffee cup.
After she dabbed her mouth with her napkin, Kathy rose gracefully to her feet. Murphy was on his half a second later. I didn’t bother to get up. My head was full of memories of the past.
* * * *
“Oh, god, Rudi.” I am scared because my body feels weird. Something is wrong. My face burns, my skin itches. A strange pressure builds inside me and it needs to be released. Now.
Rudi’s face in the moonlight is unearthly and beautiful. He is so perfectly gorgeous—everything Wes Hanover is not. But I can’t concentrate on Rudi’s face or Wes Hanover’s either. Pain, shocking and bright, stabs me.
I can hear the others in the cane field. One of them howls. It is not a human sound, but that thing within me howls back, ripping me to shreds in the process.
“Rudi,” I cry, aware that he is on all fours and his back is arched like Halloween cat’s, but his face is not feline. It is lupine. It is...wolf.
* * * *
Vaughn’s chair scraped against the laminate floor and tore me away from the memory. I watched him walk out of the kitchen as Murphy’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. I shoved my own chair back and retreated into the living room.
* * * *
Murphy found me and sat next to me on the sofa. He took one look at my face and knew something was wrong.
“You thinking about Rudi?” He was so damn perceptive. Too damn perceptive sometimes.
I nodded and he put an arm around my shoulders.
“I’m sorry, honey.”
The last time I’d seen Rudi Grunwald, his eyes had been empty. Dead. Just like him. Murdered by a Paris grandmother—another casualty of the conspiracy. All because he worked in the world of the Others and had made name for himself in technological circles. He drew attention to himself instead of existing in the shadows where the Pack had lived for millennia.
“I’m so happy with you, but I wish he weren’t dead.” If he hadn’t died at the Great Gathering, I would be in Germany now with Rudi’s pack. We’d be bonded. I couldn’t imagine life without Murphy, but it wasn’t fair Rudi was dead.
Murphy played with ends of my hair. I’d put it back in a messy bun, but some of it had escaped. I thought of us the night before, of him above me in the bed, how he’d felt inside me, his expression as he’d concentrated and tried to hold himself back so I could come first. Love rushed through my veins and I smiled at him.
He gave me another infatuated look and my smile faltered.
“Why do you look at me like that?” I couldn’t help ask.
Wistfulness replaced infatuation. “You don’t like it?”
“I don’t understand it.” He loved Sorcha even though she was dead. Why did he look at me the way he did? I was his bond mate and he was devoted to me, but what he felt for me couldn’t touch what he’d felt for her. Already I suspected my love for him went even deeper than what I’d felt for Grey. Which confused and terrified the hell out of me because I’d loved Grey so much and when I’d lost him, my whole world had crumbled. I didn’t ever want to feel like that again. I didn’t ever want to be so vulnerable, so wrapped up in another person that I exposed myself to potential devastation. But I had the sinking suspicion it was way too late.
“It’s simple really.” Murphy took a deep breath and for a moment I swore I saw fear in his dark eyes, but then he smiled at me. “Stanzie, I—”
Vaughn’s bedroom door slammed. Murphy and I both jerked and the moment between us shattered.
Vaughn stalked into the living room. He saw something on our faces and drew up short, his smile nervous.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you that I’m coming with you to Vermont tomorrow.”
Murphy regarded him silently for a moment. “You know the girl? Bethany?”
Vaughn grimaced. “She’s seventeen and I left the pack twenty years ago. Does it seem likely that I know her?”
“Precisely my point, Vaughn.”
“I knew her mother. Gina Dillon. She’s about ten years older than me and she initiated my wolf. Is that a good enough reason maybe?”
Murphy sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t know that.”
Vaughn shrugged.
“We’re staying with Jossie and Nate,” I reminded him. “You gonna be all right with that?”
“Sure, why not?” The challenge in Vaughn’s eyes was unmistakable. “Jossie’s the one that spent years chasing me, not the other way around, remember?”
“I remember,” I agreed. “I also remember you did a lot of running away.”
“Oh, fuck you.” His mouth tightened. “It was fifteen fucking years ago, Stanz. She’s been happily bonded with Nate for over a decade. Stop living in the past.”
“Whose idea was hunting together at the Regional?” I wondered.
“What is this third degree bullshit? Is it because I’m not a goddamn Advisor? I’ll keep out of your way, I swear. Why do you have to be like this?”
“I’m just amazed that after running away from her as fast you could fifteen years ago, you went and slept with her at a Regional. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“You weren’t there. Why is it a crime if two people decide to let bygones be bygones? And it’s not like we fell into bed together. It was a hunt. There’s a little bit of a difference. It was a chance to—I don’t know—put it all behind us. She’s not eighteen years old anymore. She’s the Alpha of Maplefair. She’s long since gotten over me.”
We glared at each other. Neither one of us would look away.
“Are you two actually fighting?” Murphy sounded a little incredulous.
“No!” Vaughn broke eye contact and flushed. “Stanz? We’re not fighting, are we?”
He sounded so forlorn I was ashamed of myself.
“No, I’m sorry. I’m confused. I missed a lot the past couple of years, I guess. It’s none of my business anyway. I’m defensive because I’m used to being dragged into the middle of it with you two. She never really forgave me for being on your side.”
“You weren’t on my side, you were my pack mate. You had my back.” Vaughn came to the sofa, dropped to his knees and buried his face in my lap. I stroked his long, dark hair.
“You always have my back, don’t you?” His voice was muffled and contrite.
“Always,” I vowed. Murphy put his arm around me and I let my head drop to his shoulder. Vaughn shifted so he sat on the floor, against our legs. We rested together companionably, so comfortable conversation was irrelevant.
Chapter 2
The small, light green leaves adorning the maple trees on either side of the winding country road danced in the spring breeze.
I watched them from the car window, mesmerized by their peaceful beauty. Vaughn sprawled out across the backseat, his nose buried in a book.
Murphy drove the car, but I knew he enjoyed the spring scenery every