Xander’s jaw clenched when he saw her approaching. Obviously, he was still a little ticked about her loitering to take in the fire last night. Trying to avoid the inevitable ass chewing she was sure to get before the night was over, she mouthed “sorry” from across the room and shot him her most ingratiating pout. It was about as close to a real apology he was going to get, and he knew it. He got the message and shook his head, his grimace turning into a reluctant smile.
The solidarity in the room was potent, charging the air and giving significance to the moment. The walk through the crowd was one she’d never forget. Large hands landed hard on her shoulders in rough congratulations for the success of her first act of sabotage. Their enthusiasm was going to give her bruises.
Captain Rush stood and quieted the crowd as Jordan sat down next to Xander.
“Hey,” she said, under her breath.
He grunted an unintelligible response, and she knew her small lapse in judgment was forgiven.
“Okay, let’s get started,” Rush said, and the white noise of a hundred voices fell silent. “As everyone knows by now, our mission last night was successful.”
Shouts and applause forced the Captain to stop the briefing.
“I guess we should congratulate Xander and Jordan on a job well done.”
The crowd continued to whoop and cheer. The joy in the room overwhelmed Jordan, and she was at a loss as to how to behave in response to the recognition. She forced her gaze away from her clasped hands on the table in front of her and looked out over the crowd, humbly accepting the accolades.
Experiencing the surge of pride and accomplishment that went along with her success felt unfamiliar and awkward. Her throat tightened with emotion. She was deeply moved by the display.
She’d had a lot of practice reacting to her defeats. Failure was an old friend, and through the years she’d become accustomed to picking herself up, dusting herself off and trying again.
Success. That was altogether different. It was completely unfamiliar and totally scary on so many levels. People were counting on her to be successful.
She looked out over the celebrating men. This was the exception. She liked the feel of it, though, and she aspired to become what everyone in the room thought she was.
She soaked up this giddy, bubbling feeling of success. She’d save the memory of it for later, when she needed it.
“Okay, okay, let’s get on with business,” Captain Rush said a few times before he got relative silence in the room.
“The Sterilization Center is gone. We have to focus on the next item of business. During Jordan’s escape last night, a guardsman saved her from running into a group of them heading her way and hid her until she was clear. He offered his assistance to our cause.”
The hum of the crowd increased in volume as men discussed the revelation with others around them.
“All right, quiet down,” Captain Rush shouted over the escalating din. “Xander and I have discussed how to proceed in this matter. An alliance like this could be an extremely valuable addition to our group and jump-start our efforts. It would be shortsighted of us to reject his offer, so we’ve decided to forge ahead in a way that will have minimal risk to our ongoing operations. For the time being, the only access this man will have to us is through his contact, Jordan. She’s volunteered to be the liaison and is already developing a working relationship with the contact. The rest of our identities will be withheld. It’s a risk, but we think it’s a risk worth taking. Questions, comments, concerns?”
There were low murmurs here and there, but no objections. “Okay, that’s settled. Any committee heads want to give updates before we adjourn until the next meet?”
Xander stood and stepped around the table, taking the floor. “I’d like to give updates on a couple of projects. Digging the tunnel to the Onyx Zone has been slow, backbreaking work and we’re looking for a few men who can help with the load.”
A few shouts from the crowd answered his call for help, and he nodded his thanks. “Meet with me after the meeting tonight for the details.” He looked over the crowd. “I also have a firearms update from Stan’s unit. We just received another bundle of side arms and ammunition from our over the fence contacts. I want to thank all of the men and women who are consuming less so we have the commissary food to fund our acquisition of arms.”
As the room began a round of applause, a barrage of gunfire sounded from somewhere outside the building. A scream and then the sound of multiple weapons and prolonged automatic fire had every person in the room springing to action at the same time. More muffled screams ensued as the room emptied with thorough efficiency. Jordan followed the crowd out the front doors of the Wellness Center and into Circle City.
As Jordan ran toward the heart of the disturbance, she noted the retreat of a large group of National Guard. Most of them were already through the tall barrier that ran from building to building, enclosing Circle City.
The world outside the doors was chaos. Masses of people spilled out of every doorway, making an accurate assessment of the situation difficult. Jordan followed the screaming and crying ahead of her. When she finally got a good view of what had happened, the shock of it stopped her cold.
Hundreds of people had been sprawled out over the park-like, sloping green in the center of Circle City, staking their claim of real estate for the evening so they could sleep in the cool night air instead of the stifling-hot buildings. The multicolored blankets sprinkled against the dark texture of the grass looked like small, colorful squares of confetti. Dozens of people lay dead. Bullet wounds riddled the ones closest to her. The guard had shot them all. The living searched for those they knew, flowing and swerving around the dead in the same way water parted around objects in its path. Wails of grief filled the air.
Stopped dead in her tracks, she was a lone, still person in a swarm of movement and noise. The ruthless extermination of innocent Ambers detonated a cache of rage that always lurked inside her. They’d done nothing wrong.
But she had.
A realization struck with brutal force. This was her fault. These people were dead because of what she’d done the night before. They’d expected swift retaliation by the Gov if the fire was suspected to be arson instead of an accident. But she’d never imagined they would murder indiscriminately. That assumption had been naive and the awkward feeling of success she’d experiences minutes before transformed into the familiar pall she was used to.
Jordan pulled out her handheld and began recording a video of the mayhem while there was still some light from the rapidly setting sun. She focused on her screen and walked through the carnage with the weight of her responsibility for the massacre skewing her perspective.
She found herself automatically gravitating toward the spot where she usually slept with her roommate, Dennis. Her mind ran through all the reasons he wouldn’t have been waiting for her to join him on the lawn, but that small part of her life experience had forged and shaped already knew he was dead. It was the same part of her that knew she’d been too happy these last few months. Her new friendship with Jaci and the important position she held in the resistance had given her instances of joy, of hope. The feelings were new to her. It was all too good to be true.
Her throat closed tight for the second time that evening, making it difficult to breathe. It felt as if she was barely taking in enough air to be conscious as she walked through the gore to where she’d been sleeping with Dennis during these hot nights of late summer. Then, on the video screen of her handheld, she found him.
His hands were cradled under his head as he looked up into the sky. For a split second, in the fading light, he looked alive. But in the melee of the moment, he was too still.
Jordan dropped the handheld and fell to her knees beside him. “Dennis.”