She shuddered, and her head twisted with her moans. “Yes, yes!”
Colin loved her exhilaration. The complete lack of self-consciousness allowed her to yell with her orgasm and bring it to crescendo point. His body trembled, and he clutched her tighter and lifted her waist so he could get lost in her as he came. He jerked with the hot release, his buttocks tightening with pleasure.
She was warm and soft on his cock as it grew limp. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her yet. He lay on top her and felt the warm sweat between her breasts and her quick breaths. She stroked his head and giggled. He smiled, lost in the sweet scent of their sex until their breathing grew even. Then he stood and looked at her smiling, red-cheeked face. “You are gorgeous.” He shook his head as his gaze took in her long legs, the sprinkling of pubic hair and her pot-bellied stomach. He helped her sit up and kissed her lips.
“But you have to go.” She was dismissive.
“Kate’s waiting.”
“Why are you still with her?”
“I can’t desert her after what happened.” He knew that wasn’t true.
“Not yet.” Melanie’s voice was hard.
Colin smiled. “Of course, that’s what I meant.” He touched her cheek. “I’ll be able to leave her soon, I promise.” He started to get dressed.
“What time will you be here tomorrow?” She stood behind him now.
Her naked gleaming body was only inches away from him. He breathed in her scent before sitting on the bed and looking for his shoes. “As early as I can.” He wanted to touch her but didn’t. He would leave with desire stirring so the hours until their next meeting would be filled with tantalizing promise.
“Good.” She smiled before walking into the bathroom and teasing him with the wiggle of her ass. With the sound of the shower, he walked out of her bedroom.
* * * *
Colin hadn’t meant to treat his wife badly. If he’d moved his hands down her body while she held onto him in bed during those first days after her attack, it would be different now.
When he married Kate, she was determined and strong and they had never expected her to need support and help. Colin wasn’t equipped or willing to change within their relationship. She lay helpless and in tears beside him, but he couldn’t hold this new version of Kate and he would never forgive her for changing their roles so completely. He kept back his caresses, bringing a distance between them with a lack of touch, and once he had started keeping her down, he found he could not stop.
Two years later, he still liked the way she looked at him as if seeking his approval. Sometimes he regretted the way he acted toward her, but only in the morning, when he watched her sleeping peacefully and warmth welled up inside him. But by the time he returned in the evening, his body tired from work and spent from Melanie’s touches four days a week, he believed their unbridgeable distance was what they’d always moved toward and nothing could have changed it.
He had been as patient as he could, especially after what happened. Kate met that man in a basement of a derelict house, away from protection. She had gone there without thinking how this simple act would change their lives.
When he met Kate, he was blown away by her independence. During their first months together, she told him he would never have to take care of her. She had few friends, one girl named Stephanie, whose friendship had been on and off since kindergarten, and an older woman, Ina, who helped raise her since she was four. But because of her mother’s desertion, Kate swore she would survive on her own. She told him years ago, as she roamed his bare chest with her fingers, “I don’t need anyone.”
Her eyes had blazed with certainty, so he could only nod and ask, “What do you want from me then?”
“What you can give, Colin McKenzie.” Kate’s smile had skirted the edges of conversation. “Fun.”
Colin had laughed, even with the shallowness in her words and how they belittled him to a mere playmate. He could see she was right. He was not the kind of man who would give otherwise.
* * * *
Kate walked around the house she and Colin shared. In the silence of the large rooms, she was sure she had heard a woman’s laughter on the phone. Her stomach was in knots, her hands twisted in front of her. She had tried Colin’s office immediately after he hung up and was told he’d already left.
A part of her wondered why she was surprised. She had stopped asking questions about his whereabouts a long time ago. The days after she had been raped, she would await Colin’s arrival on the couch with her legs tucked to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. His entry would bring a smile to her face, which was always slightly forced. “How was your day?” she’d ask.
For the first weeks, he’d sit beside her while loosening his tie. “Okay. Busy. What did you do?”
She’d shrug, talk about this and that, mostly what was happening on the news, what she’d cooked for dinner, though she barely ate the meals she spent hours cooking, and about going back to work, which he would dismiss with a shake of his head. He wouldn’t let her get hurt again.
Then one night, Kate’s questions inevitably turned to “It’s late. Where were you?”
He’d stopped before her. “I have to work, you know.” He glanced around the room. “We have all this on one wage.”
She’d followed his glance and met his hard eyes with hurt in her own, which asked All what, Colin? but he wouldn’t let her bring that question out. He’d forced her back with a quick smile, like the lash of a whip, and said, “I can’t do anything about the hours.”
When she’d looked at him, there’d been tears in her eyes. “I was worried. You could’ve called.”
Colin had continued to the bedroom. “For God’s sake, give me a break.”
He’d slammed the door on her complaint, so she ran and opened it. The sob resting on her lips made them quiver. “Colin?”
At the end of the bed, he had started undressing. “I was busy. I didn’t have time. You knew where I was.”
Her “But…” had met with retreat as he went into the shower. She heard the water running down his body and wondered what it’d been like to hold him. When she closed her eyes, she couldn’t picture his naked form, only his back.
* * * *
Nearly two years had passed since Kate had walked into the half-built house and a large part of her disappeared. She and Colin had not touched each other in all that time, although a few weeks ago, she’d tried to reach him. Until then, she had believed he’d been holding back for her.
In bed, with her breasts pressed against his back, she’d moved her hand slowly down his stomach. She’d felt his breath catch with hers as she crept inside his boxers and found his limp penis. Kate had kissed his back and started to caress him.
He’d stopped her, clasping her fingers tight. “I’m tired, Kate.” When he pushed her away, she wanted to cry. She felt so small.
* * * *
Kate had never thought this distance would happen with them when they met in college. Colin studied business and Kate, sociology. He had told her he noticed her the first day of term, when she was walking outside and her auburn hair shone in the afternoon light.
One day, he surprised her by stopping her. “Can I come along sometime?”
She looked at him, puzzled. Her smile faded. “What?”
“I’ve tried to get your attention. Each time you pass, I search for a simple hello and you’re always somewhere else.”
Her grin returned in its fullness. “Hello.” She moved